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An ex drinking buddy was drunk and high as F and would butcher the name of several people. I couldn’t let this one die.

I once created a character in a story when I was a child about a Jack Green from the planet Æarth, and named an account on a popular site accordingly as a similarly young person, as I lacked nominative creativity, evidently. People kept getting confused between Æarth and Earth so I just changed it to Earth for future accounts.

Found a Kraken in Ultima Online. Thought it was rad and didn't know how to spell it as an 11 year old.

I zonk out really fast. Sometimes mid-sentence.

I just wanted something short and reasonably pronounceable, as that's easier to remember.

In the past, I've used a FIPS-181 pronounceable password generator to generate pronounceable usernames that don't collide with existing usernames. But since the Threadiverse is still young, plus each new instance has its own username space, it's practical to have a very short username.

My username is a reference to the Wug test, specifically this question: "This is a man who knows how to gling. Yesterday he glanged. Tomorrow he will _____."

My irl nickname is Lizard. This is the story:

I was at what was supposed to be FNM, but none of us were feeling Magic that day so we decided to play Secret Hitler, mostly because it was my fiancée's best friend's sister's birthday so she ended up picking the game.

If you haven't played Secret Hitler, at the start of the game you get a little envelope secretly telling you whether you are a Liberal, Fascist, or Hitler. Liberals want to pass liberal policies to win the game, the fascists want to pass fascist policies that give players ability to shoot dissidents and eventually get Hitler to win. The relevant thing is that Hitler and the Fascists are lizards; apparently the Liberals are normal people, but I don't know for sure since I've never played as a liberal.

Just to be clear, it's almost statistically impossible for me to have never played as a liberal. In each game I've played in, there was a total of 3 Fascists (including Hitler) and usually about a dozen Liberals. I should have been a liberal at least once by now, considering I got my nickname 2 years ago.

On this particular night, we played about a half dozen games, in which I was Hitler twice. I kept suprising them by doing well! They all know I am autistic and can't lie to save my own skin, so as the games went on they got progressively more tilted each time I was revealed to be a lizard. I was also getting frustrated because I really do not like lying!

At the start of the last game, I opened my envelope, saw a lizard, and I was just so fucking done. I snapped at the shuffler, "Are you even shuffling these cards?" and threw my envelope at him. He responded "Well, now I need to reshuffle. And for that you shall die!" and started chasing me around with the Nerf gun we had been using to shoot dissidents. Eventually he cornered me with me cowering and covering my face with my hands, and with a shout of "Die, Lizard!" he shot the gun.

I somehow caught the bullet in between my hands with my eyes closed! And that's why my name is Lizard.

Was supposed to be the thing the kid says in the “pork chop sandwiches” Gi Joe spoof, but everyone seems to think it’s a reference to Jeff Dunham

it's better than what I had before

Mine’s a music joke and a reference to a line from the song “Shiny” from Moana.

Though if my great grandfather was a god it was of strawberries which is nice. He’d grow plants and ship them to gardeners all over the east coast

I'm a man that likes neon lights.

Do I really need to spell it out?

I love frogs and was hungry when I made my account.

It's related to my first name. But some letters removed and others rearranged.

Username should be pretty self explanatory. If you still don't get it you can either ask me or bravely run away.

I liked Legos and I liked Pikachu at the time(I was 11 or so? Trying to make a Minecraft account lol)

I don't think I'll be able to use this name for anything commercial if I wanted to do that...

CB radio user names are called handles. One of my nicknames is The Vandal. I think Subterranean Homesick Blues is one of Dylan's best. Violà.

I‘m doing a 6-2 job in finances on autopilot while mentally at another place to not be drained when I follow my hobbies after work

A few years after high school I joined the stage crew for a musical theatre group some friends started. At a performance after party, I was looking after some of the younger cast who had a few too many: one of them decided I was like Bosley to their Charlie's angels; the other felt I was looking after them in a fatherly way - so they combined it, and that became their nickname for me. Also, the nickname my siblings had given me, NoPatchGlandBoySleepyTheIronDeficientBrother was just too long.

I love the phrase “your average Joe”, but it doesn’t translate very well, or I couldn’t think of a translation quickly enough (English isn’t my first language), so when I was talking with my friends one day, I translated it as “your average mortal”, and I liked it

It’s like 15 years old from back when I used to PVP in EVE online. Vaguely weird to pronounce and towards the middle of the alphabet so I don’t get primaried

It's a reference to a Simpsons episode, where Bart writes "nobody likes a sunburn slapper" on the blackboard in the opening.

My name's Darren. Here I am in the 'net.

I used to see the F1 in the so called boring years.

I made this account shortly after watching Jackass 4. One of the new guys brings his dad on, this guy served time and did not look like he was one to fuck with. They put his head in a fishbowl with a tarantula and he instantly went into full bitch mode. That man's name was Dark Shark.

It's a new one I made up when I joined Lemmy. Not sure how I exactly ended up with this but it's the only one I made in over a decade. I like nicknames that sound like actual names but are still unique, and I wanted something that sounds nice and gender-neutral.
Anyway, my nicknames usually become part of my identity. So I'm as much Thelsim as I am nowadays :)

I couldn't think of a name but I wanted an account. Every time I tried to think of something, I hit a mental block. "I don't want to"

Wat Dabney is a minor character in Terry Gilliam's first non-Python movie, Jabberwocky.

The protagonist, Dennis (Michael Palin) goes to the city to make his fortune as a cooper. One of the first people he meets there is a legendary cooper named Wat Dabney ("the inventor of the inverted firkin") who's been reduced to begging because he's not a member of the guild that controls the trade.

I first adopted the name on IMDb, back in the late 90s, but retired it when IMDb shut down their general interest forums, and didn't use it on Reddit. I revived it for Lemmy.

I couldn't think of a better one, and just shortened my full name.

Ambian, maybe? I don't especially like disco, and my name isn't Doug. But I felt it in my heart at some point that isn't exactly clear to me.

Tenno, wake up. It's time to put on the silly norg fish mask from cetus and make it look good.

Wishful thinking

School nickname

In Portuguese "zero hora" is the midnight shift, people started making jokes when I slept in class and the name got stuck.

It means bare, naked, possession-less.

Calvin and Hobbes. I added a 'y' to the end because I could.

Just an old meme.

I was playing some crappy F2P MMO (Perfect World, maybe?) and I made a warrior of some werewolf race. Just played with random wolf-related combinations and settled on this. Quit after two days and the username carried on for probably 15 years now.

I don't even really know all that much about Stalin. I just pulled it out of my ass.

I am terrible at names

The name i used before was "youtuber", which i "came up with" when creating my youtube account

This is the first name that wasnt already taken in Minecraft so i kept it

The way I drove and the papers I used for rolling joints back when I was a teenager