That's why he puts on all that eyeliner. It drives the furniture wild! 😍😍😍
I heard he entered a sectional while the family recliner "ole brown" sat and watched helpless. The utter disgust i say
JD Vance (or at least his staff) called the mayor of Springfield before they said anything about it. The mayor told them there was zero proof that it was happening at all, then Vance went ahead and said it was happening anyway.
I would argue that the couch surfing/fucking was verified more than the immigrants eating pets story because no one officially said that it was false before it was spread.
no one officially said that it was false before it was spread.
In fact, neither he nor his campaign has denied it at all to this day.
We could call the mayor of Springfield and ask
I wouldn’t let this ‘guy’ fuck YOUR couch. Look at the predator look in ‘his’ eyes…
Hey, if I’ve gotta make up stories to keep fascists at bay, I’ll do it!
JD Vance puts his cast iron in the dishwasher pass it on
JD Vance thinks cast iron is a Wild West fishing gun.
JD Vance puts his cast iron in the purple monkey dishwasher pass it on
JD Vance puts his ska tyre in Leper Pullman, key dishwasher, pass it on
That is just unforgivable.
Trump literally eats steak well done with ketchup.
I did not think it was possible for my opinion of him to sink any lower, but here we are
Wait, patience, patience
Is this made up? Maybe. But if it makes the American media actually pay attention to the suffering of the American people, then that’s what you've gotta do.
It's almost a direct quote from him.
I'll take full credit for any virtue signalling buzzwords like "addressing the suffering of the American people" and all the attention my dogwhistles get me. Any negative results like bomb threats and hate crimes do not exist. Also, they very much exist and are the Democrats' fault, who are evil because they make up lies for attention.
Thats why his friends and family secretly call him JD Couch Fucker Vance, pass it along and insist on using that name every time hes mentioned
I used to have a roommate that apparently had a habit of taking honey to the shower and fucking it. We found more than one jar of honey that he denied fucking, and others that lived with him reported the same.
He would go on to sexually assault a friend of mine.
Now I'm not saying JD Vance absolutely has sexually assaulted someone under the influence, but I am saying he looks and acts like a guy who would rape a hot dog bun after two shots of tequila.
he looks and acts like a guy who would rape a hot dog bun after two shots of tequila.
No notes, perfect
I got news, apparently his name is now JD Vance the Degenerate. Spread the news
We do not know for a fact, that he did not do this.
Why give the disclaimer. 🤷♂️ When they go low let's meet them down there and wipe the floor with em.
Yeah going high hasn't exactly been working. Let's give them a (metaphorical) kick in the teeth instead.
He also has to stay 500 feet away from furniture stores at all times.
JD Vance said he was able to cure himself of couch chlamydia using a home remedy he invented that involved tree sap and some indian spices he found in his wife's kitchen spice rack.
When he was then spotted showing couch chlamydia symptoms, he claimed that he got reinfected a second time, but this time it was from Democrat secret agents that infected him for political persecution.
JD Vance is a good man. Every Christmas he goes down to the pound and gives couch chlamydia to one hungry cat and one hungry mouse.
I just think it's fucked up that JD Vance likes to bite the heads off of live rats.
Tp be fair, it can't be easy thinking you're young Ozzy Osbourne AND being dyslexic
A vote for JD Vance is a vote for an America where every new vehicle sold will be upholstered with rich Corinthian leather.
I read on the internet that he was caught shoplifting eyeliner @ Sephora but somehow evaded charges.
Yep, fuck facts. Orange chimp dip shit started "fake news" with earnest and they should suffer for it.
I mean, this is a cute meme. But it does seem to illustrate why playing dirty scores points while playing "by the rules" is for chumps and suckers.
Vance is a very effective sleaze. His smear of a migrant community in his home state has been devastatingly effective at stirring up a lynch mob. People are casually rejecting any semblance of truth, because "Black man ate my dog!" is this statement that resonates among his supporters and among the ambient racist fucks that are looking for someone to pander to them.
Calling him a couch fucker appears to have a better track record at deflecting his racist critiques than trying to get to the "truth" of his bigoted remarks. It forces him back on the defensive and alienates him from those same racist fucks to which he's looking to gin up turnout.
JD Vance puts out $5 in quarters when he visits a restaurant and each time he thinks the waitress fucks up, he removes $0.50. The remaining money is his tip at the end of the meal.
Do you think Jackson Delacroix Vance grew the beard so he would look less like the result of Adam Lambert fucking a Cabbage Patch doll?
I heard he volunteered to change Don’s dirty nappies and that’s how he got picked
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