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submitted 2 months ago by gedaliyah@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
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[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 116 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hadn't seen this one before but I saw this in a book:

There once was a man from Peru,
Whose limericks stopped at line two

and then later in the same book they had

There once was a man from Verdun

[-] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 31 points 2 months ago

I like this.

There are two types of people:

  1. Those who can extrapolate
[-] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

eye twitches from incomplete data

[-] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 7 points 2 months ago

I figured that was a double layer of extrapolation.

Also couldn't be bothered typing the rest on a phone.

[-] Classy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

There are 10 types of people in the world

[-] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 9 points 2 months ago
[-] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 2 months ago

All bases are belong to us

[-] LordTrychon@startrek.website 4 points 2 months ago
  • base10, provably
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[-] SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago
[-] kamenlady@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Verdun here

[-] Bertuccio@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

There was once an unfortunate bard

Who found fashioning limericks hard.

He stopped at line three

[-] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 62 points 2 months ago

There once was a bard from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When told this was so
He replied, 'Yes, I know"
"But I always try and fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can."

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 49 points 2 months ago

there’s really no need to say more

[-] Donkter@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

God fucking damn genius.

[-] teft@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago

The audience always wants more

[-] ToffeeIsForClosers@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

Reminds me of an oldie:

“Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, This one don’t.”

[-] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 12 points 2 months ago

I will occasionally go out of my way to put together birthday cards etc for friends and family rather than buy something off the rack. One year I made this for my cousin:

Roses are red

(Rose dot jpeg)

Violets are too

(Violet in red dot jpeg)

open

I ran out of cyan

Happy birthday

[-] RarePossum@programming.dev 9 points 2 months ago

I knew it as

Roses are red.
Violets are blue
I hate rhyming.
Zebra

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[-] snekerpimp@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

There was a young man from south bend

Whose limericks all came to an end

Suddenly

[-] Dalvoron@lemm.ee 24 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My favourite language joke:

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

One's got claws at the end of its paws, the other's a pause at the end of a clause

*fixed order

[-] bitwaba@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

What do you call Santa's little helpers?

Subordinate Clauses

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[-] HairyHarry@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

... he traded the fifth for a whore

... the four is an Int I adore

... ~~three~~ third bit~~s~~ is all I afford

[-] spaceguy5234@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

You've gotta leave them wanting more

[-] HairyHarry@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

this is my favourite so far

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 months ago

... the four is an Int I adore

So that's your stand on the square numbers vs fibonacci primes, I see

[-] HairyHarry@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

But a four is soooo symmetric.

[-] Classy@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 months ago

Not a limerick but I want to share my favorite pun joke

I once submitted ten puns to a pun contest, hoping one would win, but
No pun intended

[-] ahal@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 months ago

I always thought that joke needs an actual pun in the first half so the "no pun intended" has a valid double meaning. I came up with:

I told the sad ghost ten puns to raise its spirits. No pun intendid.

[-] Classy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

It's word play.

No pun intended.
"No pun in ten did [win the contest]"

[-] ahal@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 months ago

Yes I understand. It works spelled that way. But "no pun intended" doesn't work because there was no pun in the initial setup. In my version both meanings make sense

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 4 points 2 months ago
[-] cpw@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 months ago

And this is the fifth line of four..

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[-] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 months ago

"...I can't think of a single word more."

[-] 4am@lemm.ee 12 points 2 months ago

whose limericks stopped at line four

Bad rhythm. Should be “whose limericks would stop at line four”

[-] egerlach@lemmy.ca 42 points 2 months ago

That depends on whether you treat "limericks" as a trochee (long-short, i.e. "lim-ricks") or a dactyl (long-short-short, i.e. "lim-er-icks").

[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Egerlach, they once called this bard

Who'd school any with whom he did spar

Whether trochee or dactyl

word choice was impec'ble

master of prosody, unflappable.

[-] _lilith@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

and then he said nothing more.

[-] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My bandwidth is crappy through Tor.

OR

Too much exposition's a bore.

OR

Though a quatrain's a ditty,

My pay's itty bitty.

If you cut prose apart, so as to make more,

Perhaps, one day, I'll afford my lost oar.

[-] aesthelete@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

I find the fifth line a chore

[-] drphungky@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

You're both sadist and poetic boor.

[-] Carbonizer@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

And then he spoke not a word more.

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

There once was a mute man from spain
Who loved traveling on planes
When ask what he thought
Of the brand new concord
He said

[-] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 2 months ago

And with that he walked out the door

[-] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

*badum...* Y'know, no, this is so terrible, I will not finish the rimshot.

[-] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago
[-] Kalkaline@leminal.space 8 points 2 months ago

Nice lady who makes delicious snacks.

[-] thenextguy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago
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this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2024
724 points (97.8% liked)

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