this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] stink@lemmygrad.ml 82 points 11 months ago (1 children)

His immune system was khamas.

[–] yuli@hexbear.net 65 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?

[–] yuli@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago

i do!!! i spent a solid 5 min going back and forth on this before catching myself being way too pedantic

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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 70 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He was a general too at only 19 and 4 months in the military!

[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 76 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Holey shit did the semen extraction team arrive in time???

[–] ICantStopSuckingDick@hexbear.net 49 points 11 months ago

there's a rumor that a hostile team got there first it-was-me

[–] Sephitard9001@hexbear.net 38 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Israel about to be the only nation on Earth with a sizeable minority of their new generation literally being half-undead like some World of Warcraft village

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago
[–] TemutheeChallahmet@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago

Yeah, but they couldn't extract anything because it turned out he was also molding the halva into rods and using them for sounding

[–] HelluvaBottomCarter@hexbear.net 59 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Does anyone halva epi-pen?

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

A pen! A pen! My kingdom for a pen!

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 57 points 11 months ago (1 children)

rip-bozo rip-bozo-grave

Imagine being so thirsty for genocide/blood that you'd travel at your own expense to do so.

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 32 points 11 months ago

I’m leaning toward believing in an all-powerful deity now, because this asshole’s death seems like something an all-powerful deity would do.

[–] miz@hexbear.net 55 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

no more halva measures waltuh

[–] Aquilae@hexbear.net 52 points 11 months ago

"Israeli" food was so bad bro fucking died

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 47 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Critical support to allergies

[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago
  1. breed a bunch of lone star ticks
  2. release all over the 1st world
  3. watch as everybody emits 10% less carbon and/or dies from allergies
[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 46 points 11 months ago

he expected to fight, yet his body couldn’t even fight off food.

[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 44 points 11 months ago
[–] JamesConeZone@hexbear.net 41 points 11 months ago

NYPD ass funeral

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 38 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Killed by one of the most Jewish of snacks

How ironic

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Halva isn't Jewish, it's levant Arabian especially Lebanese and Palestinians.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Ah, I always got it from the Jewish deli I got lunch at

My mistake

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's fine, common misconception. Like saying couscous is "Israeli" when the Amazigh invented it.

[–] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

I think people get confused on that one because of "Israeli" couscous or ptitim, which is actually different food. It's a pasta product created by Nestle during the 1950s. Basically like acini di pepe but toasted.

It sucks ass and is basically a Great Depression food from the austerity era following WWII.

[–] TemutheeChallahmet@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It'd be funnier if he died from corned beef or dill herring

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago

Choked to death on one of those giant pastrami sandwiches

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Honestly I associate halva most with the Caucasus but that's only because of that one Shamkhan Daldayev song

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[–] Parzivus@hexbear.net 35 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What are the odds it was actually hamas-red-triangle

[–] TemutheeChallahmet@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The opposite, this was how he actually died but some propaganda outlets on Twitter claimed he was "liquidated."

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[–] GnastyGnuts@hexbear.net 33 points 11 months ago

EAT THE HALVA!

KICK THE FLAGPOLE!

EAT THE HALVA!

KICK THE FLAGPOLE!

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Don’t any of them have jobs?

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[–] ImmortanStalin@lemmygrad.ml 31 points 11 months ago

But, do you condemn Halvas???

[–] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago

His IgE? Khammas.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 27 points 11 months ago

Watching a montage of DBZ characters reacting to 9/11 to show how seriously I am reacting to this news

[–] wombat@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago
[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago

may he become fertilizer, enriching the soil that grows the next fatal foodstuff

[–] moonlake@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago
[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago

I'm gonna eat some chocolate halva to celebrate

[–] CDommunist@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago

Eating halva rn to dab on this goof

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago
[–] MayoPete@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He died in the line of doo dooty

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[–] booty@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago

Literally smote by the gods

Beware!

[–] Paulie@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] roux@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago
[–] Maturin@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I personally think it was a code red that went wrong

[–] miz@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago

Mountain Don't

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