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[-] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 57 points 3 days ago

Every sixty seconds, a woman in Britain gives birth. She. Must. Be. Exhausted.

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Why would she be exhausted when she has the machine that goes PING! After all it's the doctors who do all the work since they're the experts.

[-] rickdg@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago

The solution for a toddler with a gun is an adult with a gun. Or something. Idk, I'm not american.

[-] tacosplease@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

You've got the spirit though

[-] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 98 points 3 days ago

guns don't kill people, toddlers do

[-] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 9 points 3 days ago

As someone with 2 preschool aged kids I absolutely agree

[-] Kraven_the_Hunter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 100 points 3 days ago

Where are all of the good toddlers with guns when you need them??

[-] TheEEEdiot@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 days ago
[-] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago

Funny and very disappointing at the same time how he got actual politicians to endorse training for 4 year olds to shoot bad guys.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 33 points 3 days ago

Just stop selling the kid ammo. Problem solved.

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 22 points 3 days ago

You say no to that cute little face!

[-] OrgunDonor@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

I would easily say no to his face... but he has a guna nd is willing to use it.

[-] FrostyTheDoo@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

He only uses it once a week though, so just catch him after his weekly kill

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[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

All I'm saying is that if bullets cost $5,000 I bet that toddler would have a hard time affording them

[-] ThrowawaySobriquet@lemmy.world 96 points 3 days ago

Jesus Fucking Christ! Someone do something about that toddler!

[-] lolrightythen@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

That's what the toddler wants.

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[-] IzzyScissor@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago
[-] moon@lemmy.cafe 15 points 2 days ago

Glad to see their aim got better

[-] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago

Somebody really needs to do something about this kid.

[-] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 55 points 3 days ago

And her name is Maggie Simpson.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 3 days ago

Her name is Maggie Simpson. Her name is Maggie Simpson.

[-] username_unavailable@lemmy.world 42 points 3 days ago

Imagine what he's going to be like when he hits his rebellious years.

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[-] 0ops@lemm.ee 35 points 3 days ago

He probably doesn't remain that large, he is a toddler

[-] general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 7 points 3 days ago

He remains at small but growing rapidly

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[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Why don't Americans simply not have a larger toddler eat this trigger happy rugrat?

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

I look forward to his adolescence as a Fortune 500 CEO.

[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago
[-] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

According to my quick search, it should be Not more than 5 years into the deaths by gun-wielding toddler surpass the deaths of 9/11.

Edit: I was wrong. Here are the fruits of my research:

Toddlers: about 21 deaths per year, would take until 2142 to surpass the 9/11 deaths

Kids 12 and below: 40 deaths per year, would take until 2075 to surpass those deaths

Children 17 and below, when counting accidents only, would take until 2029

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

Toddlers: about 21 deaths per year

Last I checked, there was more weeks than that in a year. Did those fuckers in HR go and change it?

[-] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago
[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

Ah ok, fair enough.

Now that you mention it, it was pretty silly to expect the toddler to have a 100% kill rate lol

[-] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

They will grow out of it.

[-] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

Whoever said taking candy from a baby was easy must not have been American

[-] Samsy@lemmy.ml 16 points 3 days ago

Lil John Wick is on a mission, I guess.

[-] TastyWheat@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Adam Sandler in: Lil' Wicky

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[-] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Toddler army UNITE

[-] spujb@lemmy.cafe 11 points 3 days ago

this joke is funny here but it gets really sad when twitter and everyone repeats the same “original” knee slapper when this stat continues to be true, month after month after month 😒

[-] Iapar@feddit.de 16 points 3 days ago

I used to be an kneeslapper like them. Then I got shot by a toddler.

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[-] downpunxx@fedia.io 12 points 3 days ago

that little bastard

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 9 points 3 days ago

That Dennis is such a meanance.

[-] Donebrach@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Is this another edition of The Simpsons did it first?

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this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2024
762 points (99.2% liked)

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