this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] zed_proclaimer@hexbear.net 83 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (7 children)

Girls liking cute skinny guys really, really pisses off chuds. I can't tell you how many shlubby bearded gamer-bro types I've heard complaining about "girls like girlish boys not manly men like me nowadays, what the hell is going wrong with the world".

Your out of shape and unkempt appearance was never attractive gamers, there's not a horde of hot twinks out there stealing all the women you just don't care about your own appearance and stay inside all day. Have you tried going to mixed social events and being nice and funny? Have you taken some time working on your appearance to match your expectations? (If you want a woman who shaves and wears make-up, you better be bathing and styling your hair and getting nice clean outfits too)

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 50 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Literally just mad because they convinced themselves having a "beard" was manly

Now the SJWs took away the only way they could possibly ever be manly.

Nobody's impressed by them dipping bacon into 40 ounces of coke anymore, or at least people are now actually voicing how unimpressed they are.

[–] lapis@hexbear.net 33 points 8 months ago

dipping bacon into 40 ounces of coke

christ, that's a lot of cocaine

[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 20 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Never understood the appeal of those big ass beards that cover the entire lower half of their face and then some, but I see it all the time on chuds

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

A more subtle beard is much more superior anyway lenin-pensive

[–] Commiejones@hexbear.net 11 points 8 months ago
[–] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 9 points 8 months ago

Marx and Engels in shambles.

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 9 points 8 months ago

Hides the face, which is nice if you're insecure about it

[–] bigboopballs@hexbear.net 6 points 8 months ago

and that ugly ass "high and tight" haircut they have along with that

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 31 points 8 months ago

Reminds me of the MRA/Kermit bros who wasted years chasing the bag and nothing else then complain about how women don’t like them even though they’re rich lol and they try to make it seem sinister and ask for explanations like “dating is fucked! what’s going on here?!” Dating is certainly a problem, but they convinced themselves they found the secret to women

[–] JuryNullification@hexbear.net 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

there's not a horde of hot twinks out there stealing all the women

stuff im a horde of hot twinks stealing all the women

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Overlord games but you're controlling hordes of twinks and not little demon goblins.

[–] JuryNullification@hexbear.net 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Stop, it’s too hot, you’ll summon the volcel police

[–] VOLCEL_POLICE@hexbear.net 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

[–] ProfessorAdonisCnut@hexbear.net 23 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Orlando Bloom Legolas was like the biggest heartthrob of a generation, even with Viggo Aragorn right there beside him

[–] zed_proclaimer@hexbear.net 18 points 8 months ago

and before that, Di Caprio. Before that, the Beatles. idk it always seems to be cute lads and not buff he-men

[–] Florn@hexbear.net 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Viggo is way hotter, but I think that's because tolkien elves are like categorically unsexy

[–] huf@hexbear.net 8 points 8 months ago

have you read the bits where tolkien talks about elven marriage, sex life and children? it's some wild shit

[–] FoolishFool@hexbear.net 3 points 8 months ago

I don't think you meant it like this, but some of this reads like "If you're a hairy overweight introvert you don't care about your appearance and were never attractive".