this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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So, an adult?

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[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 21 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

I get that with like people under 21, but is someone who's been legally able to drink for 3 years really even a "barely an adult" anymore?

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I don't really have any context for what exactly the original post is about — I guess some A24 scandal I haven't heard of? — but speaking about age in general, as someone around that mid-20s-ish range, I feel like there's a simultaneous growing infantilization of adults and adultification of children as a result of late crapitalism. I like to call this phenomenon "age soup", the way actual legal adults are so often priced or otherwise shut out of traditional markers of adulthood, at the same time as children are being forced away from child-safe spaces and deprived of typical child things to do, and end up in these surveillance capitalist social media hellscapes where they're marketed to as if they're adults, and exposed to pedos and neo-Nazi recruiters and all sorts of other things that they're just too young for. Basically, the "simultaneous infantilization and adultification" is really just another way of saying that increasingly older people are being increasingly deprived of their independence, and increasingly younger people are being turned into increasingly exploited subjects of capitalist system.

Maybe I'll see things differently a decade from now, but from where I stand, I feel like even many people here are far too willing to buy into this sort of infantilization of adults that's being pushed by the ruling class. And I don't even really know why people here have this tendency to infantilize people my age. I mean, it couldn't be as simple as wanting to see themselves as somehow "above" younger adults, right? I don't think that's it, that doesn't seem in character for most of the people here. And it couldn't be as simple as going this-is-fine when people in their 20s or even 30s can't get jobs, can't afford a car or to move out or anything like that — people on this site are very much aware that things aren't fine, that's literally why we're here. So what is the deal with all the infantilization I see? I mean, surely we all know that all people deserve independence, respect and dignity, that's what we're fighting for. Surely we all know that power dynamics are bound up in tons of different factors which can all be structurally accounted for with some effort.

[–] 389aaa@hexbear.net 20 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Thank you for typing this all up, it makes me feel like I'm losing it how nobody seems to be bothered with this at all.

I'm newly in the same age range and it's baffling to me how the 'real adult' cultural age marker seems to be a target that's constantly just out of reach. I'm honestly concerned people will start thinking anyone below 30 is a child and should thereby have no rights, at this point.

[–] OffSeasonPrincess@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago

is a child and should thereby have no rights

Most ppl refuse to acknowledge that the fact the vast majority of children dont rly have rights or agency in their lives is already massively fucked up, and will only recognize it as such when an adult is treated the way kids are

(We dont mean kids should date adults obvsly, we wouldnt bother w this stupid disclaimer normally but since the post itself is abt dating in this case we wanna make that clear)

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I'm honestly concerned that people will start thinking anyone below 40 is a child who doesn't deserve rights!

[–] ClimateStalin@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s the most extreme example but you need to be 35 to run for president, when I’d trust a random 25 year old over a random 75 year old any day of the week

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I CAN NAME AT LEAST ONE 27 YEAR OLD WHO I KNOW WOULD MAKE A GOOD LEADER OF HIS COUNTRY………

February 1970 photo of Muammar Gaddafi in Belgrade, Yugoslavia, a few months after the 1969 Libyan revolution. He would've been around 27 or 28 at the time.

CAN I GET A "TAMAAM, SAYYIDI"?!

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Castro was 32 when the Cuban Revolution ended, Che was 30. Sankara was 33.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago

What am I doing with my life? kitty-birthday-sad

[–] OffSeasonPrincess@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

Actually Sankara was 9 when the cuban revolution ended☝️🤓

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I could legit see boomer establishment dems wanting to raise the voting age to 40 or 50

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

Making 35 year olds old enough to run for president while also being too young to vote for president would be a very good bit.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Indigenous peoples and minorities of all ages have been infantikized and denied agency and rights, so the playbook seems very similar to me. In general, I believe the goal (or the trend, rather) is to deny agency to anyone who doesn't belong to the owner class, so their lives can be controlled economically and with violence, like many children's are.

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago

Absolutely, absolutely. Very important addition!

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

and it's baffling to me how the 'real adult' cultural age marker seems to be a target that's constantly just out of reach.

In my mid 30s and I feel the exact same way, it's always been a moving set of goalposts.

[–] Tabitha@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I consider a 30+ year old dating a 24 year old to be a problematic in the pedo-lite sense. Sure it's not technically illegal and not always in bad faith and there is not always a victim, but it's a red flag. It gets blurrier as both parties age.

Also in the context of this post, Is 24 old or young or the same age as the speaker? Are you robbing the cradle or robbing the grave?

[–] BeanisBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I consider a 30+ year old dating a 24 year old to be a problematic in the pedo-lite sense.

I'm curious about the ramifications of this. If someone in their 30s still finds themself sexually attracted to people in their mid-20s, should this be considered a paraphilia and require psychiatric treatment?

[–] Tabitha@hexbear.net 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

ramifications is that I give you the stink eye

[–] BeanisBrain@hexbear.net 1 points 2 weeks ago

Understandable have a great day

[–] mrfugu@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

24 is the youngest I could consider as an actual adult. Even then I don’t think most people remove their heads from their butts until 26-28 or so

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"Oh, man; do you remember being in school when the Challenger shuttle blew up? ...You weren't born yet? ...You don't know what a space shuttle is?"

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

People who were in elementary school when Challenger blew up are now in their late 40s

[–] BeanisBrain@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

Real talk, what was the defining "innocence-shattering news event" for Gen Z and younger? For my generation (Millennials) it was definitely 9/11

[–] InexplicableLunchFiend@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] 389aaa@hexbear.net 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I have to agree, being Gen Z myself. COVID was a complete killer in both my and a lot of my compatriots faith in humanity.

in addition to that, it was just a massive disruption of day-to-day life and it quite evidently resulted in people becoming more anti-social and feral to each other. There was a massive, widespread psychological change in society

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's going to depend on the country, but for me it was probably the 2011 Norway attacks.

[–] da_gay_pussy_eatah@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

Sandy Hook maybe

[–] Abracadaniel@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Seeing MAGA shamans doing the wolololo outside of election officials' offices would be enough to fuck anyone up if they understood what a MAGA shaman or wolololo was

For GenAlpha, it was probably more getting groomed on Roblox and then holding a dying classmate as they bled out during their second or third school shooting ten seconds after COVID lockdown was lifted

[–] ColonelKataffy@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

besides covid, trump getting elected. gen z were a bunch of kids who grew up under obama, and right as they enter adulthood, surprise, you live in a nazi country

[–] Salah@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

For me it was the attacks on Gaza in 2014

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Eh, I was young but when I was 23 I knew what I was doing when it came to sex. I hooked up with older people and knew what I was getting into.

30 year old dudes hitting on 19 year olds are fucking creeps though.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Eh, I was young but when I was 23 I knew what I was doing when it came to sex. I hooked up with older people and knew what I was getting into.

There's also a sea of difference between making mistakes and dating the wrong people, and being predated upon. Saying "people in their 20s should not date older people because they're children" does nothing to address the issue that could be better solved by teaching people to recognize uneven power dynamics relationships, because those can exist even between people of the same age. Anything else is Puritan generalization.

[–] purpleworm@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

People jump to calling things puritanical but I don't think the concern here represents puritanical values at all, which are more inclined to view very young women as effectively a prime commodity for marriage arrangements or whatever.

[–] mrfugu@hexbear.net 2 points 2 weeks ago

Sexually sure I think 23 is not in the noncezone but dating a person going through the reckoning that is the early 20s while I’m past that sounds so exhausting.

(I don’t know what I’m talking about I’ve never seriously dated anyone more than a year younger/older than me)

[–] dadarobot@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 weeks ago

if i was single again, i would never date a women in her 20s. my wife is in her 30s and sometimes i think she is too young and immature for me.

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He's doing what the unions wanted.

[–] Tabitha@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

That's all I could ever ask for norm-respectable

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 5 points 2 weeks ago

look i was just copying a bit

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 5 points 2 weeks ago