this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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Using the term "grotesesque" when you're discussing something like an individual possibly being an unouted trans woman is a really bad choice of words.
It was an intentional choice of words because I find it to be incredibly disrespecful. Put bluntly, transition is a personal thing. It's a lesson I've learnt is you can't transition someone else for them. You could suggest it, but ultimately it's something they have to do for themselves. When someone passes away, you just have to let them rest.
When someone passes away before she could live as herself outside of her online presence, you find it ok to misgender her forever and to call transfeminity grotesque. Got it. Now please fuck off back to incelgrad.
If someone passes away before they come out, I'm sorry, I know it may seem harsh, but you can't force them to come out in death. A deceased person has no agency. We have no way of knowing what they're thinking, and we can't retrospectively make decisions for them. That sucks. I don't like it when people die. But it's not respectful to theorize about what they might have done had they not passed away.
You've maliciously misrepresented my argument and claimed I called transfeminity grotesque. At no point did I say that, nor anything that could be charitably misinterpreted as that. This shows me you have no intention of engaging in good faith. I'm a trans woman myself, so the topic is personal to me, hence the strong use of language.
Have a good day.
fuck off
You are deciding this, not the person who passed away.
That's clearly not what they were using that word for.
I agree with you about that being a bad choice of words (real bad tbh) but also I kind of feel like people are arguing about something that doesn't really matter and that we don't really have knowledge of, like yeah you can speculate that Bushnell was probably trans but like, that's it, unless there's some further confirmation from Bushnell. With what Ive seen posted so far, like, yeah, they could have been comfortable with either gender representation. Personally I agree that it's most likely Bushnell was trans and would have preferred she/her pronouns (based on the comment re: the use of Aaron/He/Him in public social media vs Lilly/She/Her in private social media, which i agree is a big indicator) but like, idk, who the fuck knows, do we need to fight each other over it
and when i say it doesn't really seem to matter it's like idk, the gender of a person who martyred themself to stand against genocide matters about as much to me as the gender of whoever is piloting the drones doing the genocide
P.s. i haven't read the reddit link that claims to support bushnell was not trans and i don't plan to
P.p.s. sorry if this means i need to self crit but i promise you i am very critical of myself every moment of every day contrary to the arrogance i convey