I was hit by a car while riding my bike to work without a helmet. It was basically The Thing that made me realize I can't stay in the closet and I need to transition, the realization I would have been buried and remembered as another man was horrific.

But. I also don't know if I would have wanted to be outed in my death if I hadn't ever come out. I know that the very idea that I would be remembered as a man felt like a violation. On the other hand, taking that choice away from me seems like another violation. It counts for something that, in that last and final statement and fully knowing martyrdom was next, Bushnell told us "my name is Aaron." But, it also counts for something that maybe I would have said "my name is MaleName" if I had a chance to have my final words, especially if I wanted my last words to be a political statement and was worried I'd be a distraction. I know I didn't think very highly of myself or the importance of my identity before I transitioned, maybe I'd have kept it hidden.

Maybe I'd have wanted people to discover who I really was after I died. Maybe I'd never want anyone to know. I don't know.

This seems really complicated.

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 2 points 9 minutes ago

The channel where she livestreamed her self-immolation was called "lillyanarkitty" which feels relevant? Like she might not have been OUT-out but she wasn't really hiding it either.

[–] JustSo@hexbear.net 8 points 8 hours ago

LILY!?!

I had no idea. Far out. :(

[–] SerialExperimentsGay@hexbear.net 22 points 16 hours ago (18 children)

ITT: further evidence that all cis men on this side need to do serious self crit, no exceptions.

[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 12 points 15 hours ago

agreed. Hexbear needs more transfeminism.

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[–] anonochronomus@hexbear.net 16 points 17 hours ago

trans-sad Damn.

[–] junebug2@hexbear.net 27 points 19 hours ago (36 children)

Her name was Lilly.

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 2 points 7 hours ago

Didn't know that, thanks for sharing.

It seems to be something that MSM could easily bury whenever they had the leeway to.

[–] dead@hexbear.net 15 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Page 28 of the document you linked says that although Bushnell identified Lilly and used she/her pronouns on some suspected accounts. On other accounts, Bushnell identified as Aaron and was comfortable using he/him pronouns. It is possible that Bushnell was comfortable with both gender identities.

If Bushnell was Lilly, that doesn’t mean she wasn’t Aaron; she could have been both.
Very true. As discussed above, Bushnell may have had a sufficiently expansive gendered self-
concept that both the gender she expressed online and the gender she expressed offline were
fully integrated, fully embraced aspects of who she actually was. She might, for example, have
been bigender or pangender. I did not interpret C1’s remark that she was “gender fluid” as
referring to the specific gender identity, but she could indeed have been literally genderfluid
stricto sensu (insofar as any shared subjective experience can have a strict sense).

The document also says that Bushnell identified as Aaron in documents posted during the act of self immolation. The document also points out that there were entirely separate but both active internet accounts. The account 'acebush1' on reddit was active and used the name Aaron until the time of death. Last activity from acebush was February 24, death on February 25.

The document does not present the case that Bushnell was uncomfortable with using he/him pronouns or the name Aaron. I think it would be fair to say Bushnell used multiple gender expression.

[–] SerialExperimentsGay@hexbear.net 29 points 17 hours ago (5 children)

It is extremely typical for trans women in the early stages of their coming out process to publicly go under their old name and pronouns, explore their actual gender identity on entirely seperate online accounts and identify as "bigender" or "genderfluid". Transmisogyny is brutal and makes it extremely terrifying for us to come out, there were times in my life were i, too would have had an easier time setting myself on fire than declaring who i actually was. And the same goes for most of my friends and the majority of my community.

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[–] junebug2@hexbear.net 26 points 17 hours ago

i don’t disagree with you. i do think it is significant that the event was live-streamed on an account called ‘Lilly Anarkitty’. the paper also describes Bushnell using a masculine name and pronouns on LinkedIn and Facebook, and a feminine name and pronouns on Mastodon, YouTube, Discord, and Twitch. to me, one of those groups is more representative of a person’s actual identity. and as the paper says on page 4, “There is a reason it would matter. Trans decedents are often subject to violence even in death; there is a saying that “they call it a deadname … precisely because the people in your life bury you under it”. Given that reality combined with the fact that trans people face a tremendously elevated likelihood of premature death from all causes, death and the treatment of the dead occupy a little-discussed yet central position in the current consciousness and culture of the transgender community. Our perception was that if Bushnell was transfeminine, then we had a communal obligation to take care of her in death.”

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[–] SickSemper@hexbear.net 16 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Something is fake here, it’s the same drone from this image, but I haven’t yet found sources for either, so both are pinging my bullshit detector

[–] Euergetes@hexbear.net 15 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

its the same kind of drone but the angle is different, blurred landscape a bit greener on the bushnell one. i'm inclined to buy both cause they're pretty scuffed and it's cool.

heap of 'graphic design is my passion' work for a low-stakes fake

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