Lemmy Shitpost
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
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2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
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3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
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4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
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5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
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You might have phrased this a lot better by keeping your stupid mouth shut. Take that as general advice.
And you're dying alone so what
Look, I was a bit slow understanding a joke, so were 90% here. I got it and made another joke about it, that 90% here did not get because they were busy voting the "evil guy" down and making spiteful comments about somebody seemingly not the sharpest knive in the drawer. I got the joke. Took me three minutes. You, OTOH, will be the small minded, cowardish piece of shit that you are for all your life. Your mentality attacking anonymously out of the crowd, looking for a "victim" that momentarilly has no lobby is what we see from people like the ICE. I've got a pretty wife I have been married to for more than two decades, she's got more character under her toenail than you'll have all your life. So I still might "die alone", right, asshole. But I still prefer it to living a life like yours.
Hey, have fun, go away
Booooooo
Yes. As intellectual a reply as I expected from people like you. But maybe I am a bit too hard, Did you get retention again, sweetie? Ate up the other kids crayons, again?
You got the response you deserve. Boo hoo.
Their hand quivers, and they can feel their legs shake, "Maybe this is the time" they think to themselves, if they can find the courage that is.
Maybe it will end like a meet-cute and the future love their life will get out their car and help them out and pick them up and send them on a glorious adventure.
Or maybe it will just sever their spine and it will be over.
But! The driver will remember them and their face for the rest of their life, their death having given meaning to their existence as the driver will go on to travel the world and have the adventure of a lifetime in response to this random stranger they collided with. Knowing that even if its not personally lived but that the adventure was had by their presence...
But their daydreams are snapped out by the sound of a car horn and the engine roaring past.
The moment is gone but the heart still flutters and the adrenaline pumps through their veins, less than the first time they thought about this but enough to still feel the rush of life they don't live. "There is always the next car," they think, "maybe, this time I will try yelling at them."
fart fart fart fart
you forgot to shit and cum
My understanding is that the Dr. was referring to her glasses prescription, but the numbers he provided were misinterpreted as some sort of rating on her appearance (or perhaps basketball performance).
He didn't intend to cause that confusion, which is why he acknowledged that his choice of wording was not ideal. I hope that clears things up.
You're definitely a -1, maybe -1.5
Do you not understand the joke?
He could have phrased it better haha
Sir, I am well known to understand each and any joke. Immediately and at any time of night or day. If this is intended to be an insult to my intellectual capabilities, I demand satisfaction.
Why is it impossible for people to show humility online? Who are you trying to impress? It's always sarcasm and doubling down.
Why is it impossible to understand an obvious joke? Or to read two postings downward before becoming a judgemental, better-than-though asshole? Oh. I understand. You were that asshole before. HAND.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
What a throwback
Booooo!
But you see, my good fellow, you’ve shown nary a bit of proof for this supposed intellect. How could I, an internet user of honor and integrity, accept such a duel when I know not if my actions will be akin to bullying a simpleton?
Dont't worry. IRL I wouldn't waste a second of my time with you. Or risk being seen in your company.
That seems like a good deal, can you promise not to be seen in public with me too?
Just FYI, they're indicating the glasses prescription in diopters. A -1.5 means minor correction to myopia by 1.5 diopters. Someone took the -1 and -1.5 as a hotness scale, but the guy is a sort of famous optometrist and was commenting on the lens correction factor, not hotness.
Wearing -6.5 and -6 myself as well as a cat on my shoulder that keeps waving it's tail before my eyes and considering that it's almost 3am here, you might excuse that the joke hit in here with some delay...
No excuse for being this much of a jerk though.
No excuse intended.
"I'm too tired to get the joke but I can still make an incredibly aggressive post attacking a stranger on the internet"
Maybe someone else should be keeping their mouth shut...
If you, or anyone else in the lynchmob here had intellect enough to get a joke I might find the time to give you a seriously aggressive reply. But as things are, I don't think you're worth my time.
-6? Don't be so hard on yourself
I'm sure the cat helps though.
-6.5 tbh. Asshole.
I'm so confused, what? Are you joking or did you not get the joke in tbe meme?
Well, it took me a while...
fair to say you can see clearly now?
Ohhh fair enough haha, it's not a super obvious one
I don't think so. A little slow, occasionally, maybe.
Ohh man we got a hot one coming in!
Man, this person jumped so hard to imagined victimhood so fast and now refuses to leave it.
A full day later and still burning like the downvotes aren't necessary to keep the vitriol out of good conversation.