Context: He's in the files
this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2026
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Listen, dude: I’ve got a lot more concerts in my list before I get to your lame-ass party.
Would you have missed Metallica in Moscow for some party you assumed nobody would attend? Fuck no.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna go sell all your grandmothers some really strong modern weed to get into Hendrix, New Year’s Eve, 1969.
Can’t wait to hear Machine Gun live.
Since the time traveler would be from the future, he'd have already known that nobody went to the party.
XKCD rule: lame ass-party.
ah, the democrats
I see what you did there 🐴😂
Or... isn't there the theory that time travel just creates an alternate world. but all timelines exist... so there's a second line where there's 50 people that brought their year 3000 band, and their instant ALS cure pod, partied with Hawking then arrested trump for his crimes before he could run for president.
Right? We only show up in some timelines as a fucking joke.
Let's see... the egotistical pricks that sued anyone that wanted to like them... in an authoritarian shithole... or hanging out with Stephen Hawking...
Tough choice. Can I convince Lars to sleep in the disaster bed? Or help them with arrangements so that songs that have about 1 minute of interesting music don't have 8 minutes worth of filler?
This was a million and a half people vibing so hard they broke their government. I’m not missing it no matter how much of an asshole Lars Ulrich is.
I'd definitely go see Freddie at Live-aid at least a dozen times.
Been there. Got like a dozen t shirts. Nobody on eBay thinks they’re real tho
You can't bring the time travel souvenir back with you in the time machine. You've got to store it in a safe cave or storage unit or something so that it'll be at least plausibly aged by the time it reaches the future, even if surprisingly well-preserved.
I tried that but I think Geldof found them
My God... Is the fact that boomers think '60s weed was mind altering proof of time incursions from the dank future???
The strong weed and its effects hide me from temporal law enforcement.
Boomers are weak
No need to assume. You already know nobody attended. And you can also be part of the joke if it's one.