this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2025
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This is why aliens avoid us. Whenever we discover something, we either try to eat, enslave, or fuck it. Sometimes all 3.
from now on we should only send pacifistic asexual (sex repulsed to be specific, i know you kinky aces exist you can't hide) vegetarians to space
dammit i want to go to space but i literally have EAT ONE OF EVERYTHING at the top of my bucket list
damnit i want to go to space but I'm one of those kinky aces
you know what let's build our own rocket with buffets and dildos
A buffet of dildos?
one of those too!
Dang I thought we were invisible.
So secretions from alien udders are still a thing?
hence we're sending the non-kinky ones
But the aliens are plant-based…
Either fuck it, or fuck with it.
First contact's gonna be kinky
Their genitals are so different that gazing upon them drives normal people insane.
I'd be fine tho.