Children of Time is a 2015 science fiction novel by Adrian Tchaikovsky.
In the distant future, humanity seeks to create new habitats for itself on distant planets, terraforming them and seeding them with life. Dr. Avrana Kern is heading one such project, orbiting the tentatively named "Kern's World", where the plan is to release monkeys 
infected with a nanovirus that will accelerate their evolution. Through an act of sabotage from an anti-technology group that has also destroyed much of Earth, the monkeys are never released, and the virus instead infects a species of spider, Portia labiata. The book follows the evolution of the spiders and their eventual civilisation, as well as a remnant of humanity that fled to Kern's World hoping to find paradise.
also children of ruin and children of memory, the sequels, are really good
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
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emotions
My posting flurries are often a side effect of dealing with intense emotions throughout the day, just from thinking about my life and how it has gone, etc.
When I get overwhelmed by my emotions I don't want to be alone. But I have been alone for a long time. I often feel like if someone could be there one time, I could probably handle the next 10 strong emotions on my own.
I don't know what's normal. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with these feelings. What I do know is trying to wring anything out of anyone is exhausting. It started with posting on Instagram trying to stay in touch with my college friends and now it's happening here. I don't feel any agency to be direct.
And I don't have someone in my corner, so it feels like nobody is witnessing what I'm going through. Apparently that's a good thing. Apparently I'm supposed to want this desolation.
Hexbear is a good place. I guess I'm not all that good.
I'm experiencing anxiety flareups trying to communicate effectively here, and that is a sign to me that I need to consider how involved I am, how much I talk about this stuff, etc.
Also you guys peer pressured me into switching usernames before I was ready when I first joined the matrix chat, back in July. That wasn't cool. I chose Pleakley because I panicked. Have a great January 2025.