I (39F) have a “daughter” (15 masc, 15M?) who I guess is now my son. He identifies as masc, which I guess is masculine? So I guess I will use he/him pronouns. And he prefers to be called James or Jimmy. Jimmy has talked about wanting to be a boy before, but he has been very vocal about it as of recent and at first I was just thinking it was a tomboy situation but now that he identifies as masc, I was thinking of how I can support Jimmy and get used to it.

so i was friends with someone online for a little bit and he asked me out, so i said sure and checked in with my partners because i'm poly.

i ended up dating him but he was being very weird throughout the whole relationship, pressuring me already to send nudes and have kids with him when i said no multiple times. he also was very cool and kind when he thought i was a cis man but as soon as he found out i was ftm, started pushing the whole "let me suck on your/see your boobs" "let me see you in a dress" "let me have kids with you" and such.

does he even see me as a guy? was i a fetish to him? anyway i blocked him, just needed to rant.

She was never happy with the way I was, just with how she wanted me to be. She liked the idea of me, not me. She got weirded out at me for liking girls and being born one, she tried to get me to apologize to God, become His servant, and "convert" and keeps asking me to read the Bible and form a relationship with a being I don't believe exists. She also she found out I was genderfluid. This was the last straw for me. She asked why my pronouns were "she AND he". I said I'm genderfluid. She asked if God made a mistake with my gender, and then said no because God never makes mistakes and I should just be a straight Christian girl forever. Is this toxicity disguised as "love" or am I overreacting?

What should I do? On my male days, I get misgendered intentionally and called "my girl/daughter" by my transphobic dad who says "people think boys can be girls and I hate it!!"

He also keeps calling my male friend a "she" when he doesn't even look like a girl, he looks pretty gender-neutral/masc and just may look feminine to him because he's pre-T (he's only 16).

I thought of one thing, and last time he said I couldn't hang out with him because he was trans but didn't have a face to match up with the name or me just saying "a friend" so he may let me hang out with him, thinking he's "a girl" and just a tomboy so I can finally sleep over.

i really don't get it as an afab nonbinary woman, like i saw a post where a woman was complaining about not having a partner because "only theyfabs" asked her out.

My ex-girlfriend is now a straight, "proper" Christian woman who went through what she calls a "gay phase" and a "trans phase" even though I like to say she was just questioning.

She is very anti-transition and I notice on Snapchat there is some detransition propaganda stuff from even the "pride" accounts.

hi everyone, i’m trying to use lemmy instead of reddit more and from what i’ve read, this community seems great! back on reddit i really had not he best experiences. i was a member of ftm and ftmMen, the latter of which had some pretty bad problems to the point i recently left it. mainly, there were multiple posts saying how much “nonbinary transmasculine people annoy me” and such which drove me up a wall. any time i tried to speak out in defense of nonbinary trans men being in the community i was downvoted to hell. personally i consider myself a binary trans man but i do identify with xenogenders a bit as well. it just doesn't make any sense to me why someone not being 100% binary (or even just existing in the way transmedicalists want you to) makes them not fit for a space. we all have similar experiences with our transitions, nonbinary trans men can be on T and get any surgery a binary trans man would. anyways this was kind of just a rant but i also was asking if anyone else had these experiences particularly on the reddit(s), and maybe even that’s why you joined lemmy instead? :)

So before I used to be active on Lemmy, I was active on Quora. However, now I see that it's a cesspool for toxicity, including this one trans man I saw. He had a friend that "respected" trans people, but thought cis and trans women were weak and couldn't survive without strong, tough trans men. They also said you have to be masculine to be a guy because FTM femboys are cis women and cis man femboys are MTF but don't know.

They also were one of those Asian supremacist people being from Asia and thought it was the "superior race"...

So glad his ass got banned! Not sure about the other guy because I don't remember his username.

This one guy I know who is/used to be a Neo-Nazi, Jordan (or he could just be saying he hates Jews to be edgy), said while he doesn't understand being trans or gay, he should probably still support and accept their identities.

i used to be forced to shave my legs a lot by my family and they still constantly comment on my hairy legs, but having hairy legs makes me feel more masculine. the guy i like, however, doesn't wanna pressure me, but also wants me to shave my legs. should i do it?

People like my ex-girlfriend (who is also my ex-friend) describe them figuring out their identity as "having a gay/trans 'phase' once". I get trying to figure out your identity, but something irks me about calling it a "phase". Even if it's how you describe it, it just feels to me like being trans or gay is just a phase and you'll grow out of it.

My ex-girlfriend turned out to be straight and anti-transition anyway...

I had another ex-girlfriend who she and her friends blocked me. Her friends were talking about orientation, and I was a lesbian at the time (now omni/gay/homoflexible trans man). Then, the friends were just like "Oh, well I thought I was a lesbian too and had a lesbian phase until I met my perfect, loving boyfriend <3 Maybe you haven't found the right guy yet". They turned out to be extreme right-wingers anyway too...

Not that having a "phase" equates to being right-wing, but it still irks me regardless of your political beliefs and isn't there a better way to phrase it? Like I would be fine with something like "You're trans, Larry (me)? That's awesome! I actually questioned being trans awhile back".

I don't even know that much about them but I can guarantee that when I see something posted by truscum communities, I'm like "I'm not touching that with a 50 ft pole".

It seems a lot like they focus on what is a "real" trans person, which is very toxic, unless I'm misunderstanding truscum.

I'm sorry if this is attention seeking, I'm trying not to be...

Ever since I was a kid, I was different from other girls. I wanted to be a boy. Since I knew boys had penises, I wanted a penis too. I wanted to be like my dad. Though he turned out to be not a good person, I didn't know that at my young age.

I wanted to hang out with boys and do "what the boys did", not what the girls did.

I didn't like makeup or dresses, but I just thought I was a tomboy or a boyish girl. But do boyish girls want penises? Do girls who want to be like their fathers feel the way I do? Well, I guess some of them do.

But my grandpa and dad have convinced me that all I will ever be is a girl. Just a confused girl masquerading as a guy. Just a confused girl who society has "pushed an agenda on".

I don't like rough labor either which I see stereotypically with guys and stuff, but I do like weight lifting and that gives me gender euphoria. I would take T to help me get stronger but to my internalized transphobic brain (I'm working on that), it's cheating.

If you want to use my name(s) in your reply, by the way, I'm Larry or Scott. Alex or Mikey is fine too.

To preface.. For a long time I was incredibly unsure about my sexuality. I was an autistic "cis" woman who absolutely adored gay media (yes; I was a fujoshi) and I felt for a long time that I WAS queer but I didn't know exactly how; I felt like I was taking up space being in queer womens spaces so I seldom participated in them and that led to me never truly exploring my sexuality despite me knowing I only liked men. I always labeled myself as bisexual or on the ace spectrum when I was clearly aware those labels didn't fit me, just because I didn't know how to explain how I felt on the inside.

Now, I am 2+ years on testosterone, I have undergone top surgery and I am going to get my rhinoplasty in the next 6 months for a more masc face. I have never felt more happy in my life. I can actually bare to look at myself in the mirror, I can actually love my body and begin to explore parts of myself that were so ardently locked behind my dysphoria. It's like so many doors have opened for me and I realize that this is who I am, and that even though I am still am fairly new into medically transitioning I could TRULY never see myself in another way.

I love men more passionately now and I can appreciate masculinity more richly. I have never felt gayer in my life. I thank Lou Sullivan for all of his activism work to show that gay and lesbian trans people existed, and I am so happy to be a gay transgender man.

"I don't even know if there was anyone that's ever felt as I do.. how they coped, what they did...how do I find out what someone like me does?” ― Louis Graydon Sullivan, We Both Laughed in Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/35361786

if you have HRT Related queries or advice please check out !diyhrt@lemmy.blahaj.zone, an entire comm for HRT

Testosterone and it's link to aggression (or lack of thereof)

I found an article with many linked studies on how testosterone affects aggression. The article is centered around cis men with baseline low testosterone levels that started TRT, however, I do think this applies to transmasculine people as well. Posting this because even in trans communities this topic is misunderstood.

TL;DR: individuals with low testosterone levels at baseline that started TRT report decreased levels of aggression, fatigue, tension. Current studies don't report any changes of aggression on average, however, this may wary depending on personality profiles (for example: people with high dominance and low self control traits did become aggressive, but the testosterone itself is not the cause of the aggression)

https://www.trted.org/articles/myth-busting-series-testosterone-treatment-makes-you-aggressive

@ftm @trans

Some of my trans dude wins

I just remembered this community exists, though a bit dead, so let me write some of my life updates (and test if wafrn federates with lemmy well enough)

• Got endocrinologist after migrating to new country, turns out my T levels were very low, not changing the dosage yet, but will switch to Nebido and we'll see how it works

• My bros bought me a new binder that fits me very well! It's hard for me to breathe even in oversized binders though, so will wear only on special occasions. But I'm glad that I don't have to be a shrimp all the time

• Moustache is a bit more visible, like not really grown yet, especially considering my T levels and genetically not very lucky with facial hair, but I'm glad that at least it grows.

• Dysphoria induced dissociation when I look in the mirror has completely stopped. Also a huge win

@ftm

#ftm #transmasc #trans #transgender

how do i safely bind without a binder? i'm too scared to outwardly buy a binder because my transphobic family will find out and they most likely know what binders are and what they're used for. they will then probably call me a girl and say there's nothing wrong with my chest, but what can i use at home to flatten my chest? i don't have any sports bras that are smaller sized or anything, but i could probably borrow one from a friend or family member.

I don't need advice, I would appreciate if you just listened or provided your opinion but not telling me what to do or how to think, please.

I don't wanna focus too hard on labels or what others think, but I still do wonder for not just me, but for people like me.

I already know stuff like to break the bad habit of reducing myself to a label, which I am trying to do.

That's why, although there are many things that apply to me, like "autistic", "trans", "demiboy", etc. I will not go around saying these words to describe me all the time.

But anyway, I ranted about this yesterday and thought people wouldn't respond well for some reason, but the first thing I saw when I searched up "demiboy" was a person asking what a demiboy is.

The comments were full of people saying stuff like demiboys who are "assigned female at birth" are tomboys or just women who want to feel special.

I just wonder why people don't realize that trans men and nonbinary and anything in between is a valid, real thing and not just people who want to feel special.

There is also something I saw calling a gay trans man "hetero" on TikTok, when a gay trans man and a hetero woman are definitely different, as are lesbians and straight trans men, etc.

And people who are non-binary are valid, real, and genuinely don't want to feel special, but just don't feel strictly like male or female.

You can put your experiences in the comments, by the way.

I haven't gotten a binder in like 15 years or so, so I don't know where to find a binder online nowadays. I'm looking for something lightweight/breathable, durable and sensory-friendly, and ships to the US. Any good recommendations?

So far I've come across Wivov and Origami Customs, but I haven't ordered anything yet. Just wanna make sure I'm spending money on something I will be comfortable wearing.

I appreciate any help or advice!

Sometimes I go by they,

and also sometimes he

and also sometimes she

but also always me

i feel so much happier and can think more clearly since identifying as a demiboy!!!

how are ya??

Yayyy!!!

AFAB genderfluid here. You have very limited information, I know that, but whatever.

My dad came from a quite traditional family. He used to be transphobic himself and was a little weirded out when I came out as a boy on some days, but my mom was always open-minded and my dad learned to accept it.

His sister, on the other hand, never learned to accept it and stayed the same: supportive of me liking men and women, but seemingly not supportive of me being genderfluid.

One day, I said I was on my period, and she said "Boys don't get periods, so you're a girl". When I first came out, she said "Well I accept you no matter what my beautiful niece" and is always trying to get me to look and be more feminine. She tried to get me to wear a skirt a bit ago when I'm usually a guy, not a girl, and I also don't really like wearing skirts as a guy.