this post was submitted on 04 May 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 100 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Literally just saying "the only proper way to exercise power is to be extremely rich"

Also, the idea of a Woke Bain Capital is pretty funny. Just buying out all the most ghoulish corps to strip them for parts

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 94 points 6 months ago

It's astonishing rrealizing how much of American political thought is just this intense kayfabe of presenting a real political system while rigidly upholding the status quo at all costs.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 78 points 6 months ago (1 children)

A logical extension of lesser evilism and "if you aren't at the table you're on the menu" ideology tbh

[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 42 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Now the anti union propaganda makes more sense. Because if you don’t want to be part of a union or be “at the table,” then they’ll make you believe that you won’t benefit at all from negotiations, thus it’s a waste of money and time. In reality even if you’re at the table, you’re relegated to a second thought.

[–] marxisthayaca@hexbear.net 76 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Investor activism is such a long and drawn out process and you are telling zoomers with no fucking money to pool together all their resources and compete against fucking Blackrock or Bain Capital?

[–] Rod_Blagojevic@hexbear.net 58 points 6 months ago (1 children)

And the military budget of the federal government.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago

And the willingness of the federal government to just do whatever the fuck it wants, violently, on the rare occasions someone "beats it" on paper.

[–] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 72 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Imo instead of protesting Israel the students should purchase Israel more bombs so the country feels like it owes them something

[–] Meh@hexbear.net 33 points 6 months ago

Hello, I would like to buy one Israel, please. I'm shutting it down

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 68 points 6 months ago

“Hello my fellow investors. I know we all want to make money, but have considered doing something significantly less profitable like not selling weapons?”

[–] itappearsthat@hexbear.net 63 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Voting power is proportional to shares owned aka how much money you have. The market cap of Lockheed Martin is $110B. Where are the students going to get the literal multi-10s-of-billions of dollars to acquire an activist-size stake? Like holy fuck this is so unbelievably stupid.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 45 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Where are the students going to get the literal multi-10s-of-billions of dollars to acquire an activist-size stake?

Bake sale?

[–] Wolfman86@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago

They could just ask their mums and dads?

[–] Greenleaf@hexbear.net 61 points 6 months ago

Us communists should pool our money together, buy every stock on the stock market, then hand the companies over to the workers. Instant socialism! It’s brilliant, why didn’t we think of this before.

[–] SubstantialNothingness@hexbear.net 53 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Northrop has a market cap of 69.491B, Boeing 110B, and Lockheed 111B.

Millennials have under 10% of wealth among generations in the US, and I can't even find data for Gen Z but these protesters are students mostly fresh out of high school. They don't have anywhere near the necessary amount of wealth, even if they pooled every penny that every one of them owns.

These people are either not speaking in good faith, or are superbly incompetent. But that surprises no one, I'm sure.

[–] NuraShiny@hexbear.net 27 points 6 months ago

Ah come on, what can 290.491 billion dollars cost? Twenty dollars?

[–] MayoPete@hexbear.net 48 points 6 months ago

How about instead we get the list of people who own the most shares and

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 48 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Lmao the sheer out of touch ness on so many levels.

"If you don't like a company, buy it!" Levels of stupid.

Gotta love that these are the morons that gets to be professors in a capitalist system. Truly only the best teaching the next generation how to be stupid.

[–] nasezero@hexbear.net 46 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Bit idea: blaming libs for not putting all of their money into the stock market when Biden loses

"I see you spent $8 on a blue checkmark, when you could have spent that on a fractional share of Amazon stock and used your voting weight to give Biden a guest appearance on season 4 of The Boys smuglord "

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

But he was already the main villain of season 3, libs were just completely oblivious to how Soldier Boy was a cross between brandon and hunter while chuds understand that Homelander is trump-drenched but they think him being portrayed as a fascist superman who kills people is based

[–] Washburn@hexbear.net 44 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Do you know what happened to the rabbit who tried to change the wolf from the inside?

It got digested.

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 38 points 6 months ago

The brainworms are so dense this professor turned into anti-Brer Rabbit:

smuglord "You know what the wolf would really hate? If we were to throw a bunch of vegetables and seasoning into boiling water, then skin ourselves and jump in as well! lol, that wolf will never see it coming"

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 37 points 6 months ago

For decades, these American arms manufacturers have created obscene amounts of wealth for a handful of billionaires at the cost of millions of lives. But we can put a stop to that; together. You and I. All we have to do is give more money to those same billionaires. If each one of us pitches in as little as $300,000, we can make a difference.

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 34 points 6 months ago

Yeah, you shouldn't want activism to be "fascinating." You should want it to scare capitalists into complying.

[–] wtypstanaccount04@hexbear.net 29 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Even becoming a cop to "change the system from inside" makes more logical sense than this.

[–] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago

there are polities where 5-10 comrades could do some entryism but that's barely better than electoralists moving to red states en masse.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 29 points 6 months ago

as a medical doctor and teacher of pediatric medicine, I would be fascinated by a group of wizards that charge young parents to heal their terminal children of incurable disease with magic spells and potions.

[–] Tabitha@hexbear.net 26 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

This is like one of those things you say when the conversation started out with "What would you do if your rich distant relative died and left you a billion dollars/wished for a billion dollars/randomly stumbled upon a billion dollars and could do whatever you want with it?"

It's so detached from reality, you might as well also speculate about finding a Death Note and Time Travel machine in the same conversation.

[–] Cromalin@hexbear.net 25 points 6 months ago (1 children)

i'll give him this, it would definitely be fascinating

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago

a brain made entirely of worms, fascinating

[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Even if this was possible, shouldn’t these protests compel the school admin to start demanding changes for the weapons corporations? I can’t recall if they actually have investments in the contractors (I’m sure they do), but if such change can be made by individual student investment, then institutions representing the student surely must have more impact. But they choose not to, not even pretend to to further their propaganda. Because saying a god damn thing against Israel is unholy suicide.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago

bullets are a lot cheaper than equities

[–] DivineChaos100@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago

The only reason i would become an investor is so i could attend a board meeting with the-doohickey

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

To stop a genocide you have to profit from the genocide first.

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago

Gotta invest before you divest

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago

"Have you considered INVOOOOOSTING!?!?!"

You mean gambling for rich people? None of them will let me work for them, what makes you think I have gambling money?

[–] footfaults@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

Liberals in 2020: "You can push Biden to the left"

Liberals in 2024: "You can push the Military Industrial Complex to the left"

[–] TheOtherwise@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Link to the actual article? Tried googling the quote

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago

Yeah, let me invest in an industry that I don't believe should exist.