If you don't believe Jesus was a giant rabbit, don't celebrate Easter. (hexbear.net)

submitted 5 months ago by happybadger@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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Simple as. Rome found a large rabbit in human clothes with a basket full of eggs and they beat the shit out of him. Then they crucified him in front of everyone. I don't know why either. Don't like it? It's not your holiday to ruin for me.

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[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

I believe Jesus was a giant rainbow colored egg so I can still celebrate it

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

That egg better have a fucking rabbit inside.

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago

Nah it has another smaller rainbow egg inside of it.

[-] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

I believe that that the Easter Bunny wasn't the Messiah or Jesus, but Jesus' close friend and a great prophet.

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Well if you found a giant rabbit in human clothes, what would you do?

I'd probably run, except rabbits are fast af so chances are there's no escape.

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

rabbits are fast because they don't wear pants

[-] HighOnCopium@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

Can I celebrate it by going to the grocery store after Easter to buy the discounted chocolate eggs?

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

As long as you believe in transubstantiation and that is the literal body of Christ to you, yes.

[-] dumpster_dove@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

The chocolate eggs are not the body of Christ. Do not make the same mistake as I did

[-] Xavienth@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

They don't seem to do that anymore. They don't overstock

(because of woke)

[-] insufferableninja 4 points 5 months ago

as is tradition

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago

I had a dream when I was like six of the easter bunny in my living room, so therefore it's real.

[-] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

I thought the Easter bunny had laid the egg from which jesus was born?

[-] YellowParenti@hexbear.net 7 points 5 months ago

Easter Bunny was Christ's pooka.

[-] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

there was an ex easter bunny actor on the radio talking about how there werent any women confident enough to date him while he was doing that gig, and my immediate thought was:

"The suit stays on." top-use-words