I was a little surprised by the American politician/journalist/official's appearance. They weren't wearing military fatigues wet with the blood of innocents, with a smoking rifle in their hands and stolen natural resources in their backpack.
As we all know, US generals are functionally indistinguishable from Rust players.
Confused when I was confronted with my American counterpart, who was not covered with grease stains and did not have a burger in either hand, nor loose fitting jeans barely clasped at the waist by a thin leather belt with a buckle the size of a small dog.
Obligatory "please apply this writing style to the west" moment:
I had half expected to see a stiff and upright colonel of the kind I used to meet in the RAF, lips covered by a drooping mustache, mouth dripping with tea, constantly muttering 'wot wot wot' after everything he said.
THE YANKEE SPOKESMAN was right on time for our meeting. I was a little surprised by his appearance; I had half expected to see a loud cowboy of the kind I used to meet in Texas—mouth occupied by a cigar, a wide-brimmed hat adorning his head and a revolver in his belt. Instead, Matthew Miller was a neat-looking fellow in a European-style business suit and a purple tie. He kept a physical distance as he greeted me, his manner arrogant but formal, as if to register that his country was unassailable.
mouth occupied by a cigar, a wide-brimmed hat adorning [their] head and a revolver in [its] belt.
I feel so seen
Sickos for Hexbear American Ministry of Foreign Affairs Spokesperson! 
I am glad that the only qualifications were "sunburns easily", "nicotine-addicted", and "wheelguns, more like realfuns"
My biggest disappointment with Chinese social media is that whenever I try to do this they start calling me a racist.
I fuckin' love this new strategy they use where they say something along the lines of "I was expecting some sort of racist stereotype when i met <blank>, but they were actually a normal like me!" as if it proves how cultured they are that they're willing to admit they were wrong even if they're also admitting they're absolutely fucking racist
i would've cut that if i was their editor but at least it's coming from a previous meeting with someone? absolutely deranged thing to write for publication.
Thing is this isn't new, this kind of crap dates back to when TERF Island was an empire, if not earlier
Look, we all have expectations regarding appearance before we meet something. It's a fact of human socialization.
...you don't need to put it in your article. Especially if it's like this.
Its one thing to have expectations. Its another thing to express open shock at the lack of sepia filter and distant yodeling call to prayer when confronted by a person from the Middle East IRL.
Flashback to when Jeremy Corbyn started wearing a suit and tie when he was polling high for PM and British liberals freaked out because it meant Corbyn was "getting serious"
These people are like trained seals. They see a person in formal business attitire and they clap
Ah, the classic.
kill this man he's ambitious 
I think there’s like 3 British outlets that show the picture of the writer next to the headline. They’re my favorite because the headline will be some of the most asinine or ghoulish shit imaginable and right next to it is the author’s dumbass mug staring as if it’s waiting for your approval
It's too bad the "hoodie and jeans politician" is fukken Fetterman. Casual wear deserves better.
fetterman is the the hoodie and basketball shorts politician thank you very much
jeans are still up for grabs I think, along with t-shirts
I've never read an article describing what it was like to interview someone that didn't sound like the author jerking off in literature format.
Idk when this trend started but it needs to stop. There are fanfics that are better.
Kinda lucky he wasn't expecting meeting a woman or half the paragraph would be about how he expected the bounce of her breast were.
as she reached her hand out to shake mine, her breasts bounced boobily
When I met the German spokesman I was surprised to see he was not wearing Lederhosen, a Pickelhaube and a swastika armband, nor was he goose-stepping, racing his Audi down the autobahn or stuffing his face with sausages.
There are only three types of journalists hired by mainstream newspapers:
The khaki correspondent - Will travel to exotic sepia-toned countries. Here he will stand on safe distance to atrocities and repeat the US state department line.
4 the nepo baby who can afford not to earn a reasonable salary, so he trades his time for social cachet, and his friends now dominate the industry
With the way the American education system is, the 19 y.o. with the writing skills of a 16 y.o. is probably the top of his class
When I met with the Japanese ambassador, I was surprised to find that he did not carry two swords, and not once did he behead a subordinate for making a minor mistake in protocol. We also sat at a table and ate apsta instead of kneeling on bamboo mats to be served sushi by a master chef (also beheaded afterwards for having a grain of rice out of place)
"When I met the señor from Mexico I expected him to be wearing a poncho with a Sombrero perched jauntily upon his head, chest crossed with bullet-laden bandoliers, leading a burro - their word for "donkey."
Instead of a hearty "¡Hola!" he simply shook my hand and said "hello" and and welcomed me to "Buenos Aires." I replied "No espeak-oh Spanish-oh." I looked in my Spanish/English dictionary later on and concluded he was saying something about this being a non-smoking area."
"When I shook the American spokesman's hand, I was surprised that it was not covered in burger grease."
This will never be written because their hand would indeed be covered in burger grease
dude's WHITE white 
Sir, can you clarify what you mean by 'pseudo-arabist' and how that relates to your comments here 
im sure its nothing racist
Dude looks like he would turn red and melt if you ever gave him food spicier than a carrot.
The Emperor of the united state was right on time for our meeting. I was a little surprised by his appearance; I had half expected to see a demented Klansman of the kind I used to meet in the united state—mouth drooling with burger grease, a stained wifebeater over his shoulders and a pepsi bottle in his belt. Instead, Joe Brandon was a creepy fellow in a Wehrmacht blazer and a button-down shirt. He kept a physical distance as he greeted me, his manner restrained but ready, as if he will jump on my neck if I looked away for one second
As if to sniff your hair if you looked away for one second
Why would you post this on a public website when you could just not
This is like if you asked Chat-GPT to write a Thomas Friedman column.
The Arab leaders have long seen the Houthis as dangerous proxies for Iran, the group’s main military supplier, but some observers now say the truth may be even worse: that the Houthis are fanatics who answer to no one.
NOOO!!! THEY’RE INDEPENDENT!!!
Instead, the Saudi coalition withdrew from Hodeidah under pressure from the United States and aid groups who warned that the battle could lead to an even deeper humanitarian catastrophe. Some analysts and human-rights workers now believe that those concerns were exaggerated amid an atmosphere of widespread anger at the Saudis.
NOOO!!! NO ONE WILL SUFFER FROM SAUDI WARS!!!
For the outside world, there is a larger concern: Now that the Houthis have shown what they can do in the Red Sea, what is to stop them from finding new pretexts to do it again? Their arsenal includes unmanned, explosive-packed boats and submarines, with parts provided by Iran. If one of these were to strike an American naval vessel, it could kill a lot of sailors.
NOOO!!! NOT AMERICAN SAILORS IN THE RED SEA!!!
I was shocked to see the Hamas ambassador in a suit and tie, without a headband and rifle, and he didn’t even yell allahu akbar once during our conversation!
Of course he wasn't dressed like Aladdin, the Aladdin story is set in China.
taking off the klan hood while writing might help you see the racist undertones in your news articles. just a thought
Makes me sad that khat is illegal in so many places. Fantastic stimulant lost to xenophobia
Lol of course it's the fucking Atlantic, these people need to be banished to the countryside like during the Cultural Revolution, Chairman Mao was too kind and let most of those loser back to the cities, we can't afford to make the same mistake this time.
It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
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