this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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Greentext

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[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 86 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

This would be way funnier if the age was revealed at the end.

be me
balls deep in milf
guy catches me
drags me out of bed by my foot
cuts my dick with a knife
couldn't walk for 2 years
0 yo

[–] z500@startrek.website 33 points 2 years ago

My eyes skipped right over the 0 yo part, and it was quite droll

[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

Couldn’t walk for 2 years is a good enough hint that it’s a newborn.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 77 points 2 years ago (4 children)

You just call your own mom a milf...?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 68 points 2 years ago

Hell yeah, my mom’s a milf. A matriarchal introducer of love and fun.

[–] De_Narm@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Just for good meassure I've searched the term and it seems like people kind of forgot it's an acronym. Most definitions just say 'attractive older woman'.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Which is what I thought cougar described. Kids these days!

Edit: this has created a short comment chain that I adore..

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No, a cougar is specifically on the prowl for fresh, young meat.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Ironfist@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 years ago

well, yes! Hurry up! Get your cougar!

[–] nieceandtows@programming.dev 19 points 2 years ago

I thought cougar was for women actively hunting for prey.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Even older part isn't relevant anymore. A 22 year old with a toddler is called milf.

THAT'S NOT WHAT IT MEANS.

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world -1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nope.

MILF is someone who is considered attractive by peers of her children. Think Stacey's mom. So the theoretical milf can't be younger than 30.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You're right. American Pie corroborates your findings.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Of course it does. That was when the word still hadn't lost its meaning.

[–] ObstreperousCanadian@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 years ago

His name is Oedipus.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 7 points 2 years ago

Freud thought so

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago

I bet you also cried. What a cuck

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Didn’t learn to walk until age 2?

What, you think he came outta the pussy drawing Mozart? At age 6, he was born without a mouth.

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 22 points 2 years ago (4 children)

cuts my dick with a knife

...what?

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 71 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Male genital mutilation, or Circumcision in American English

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 6 points 2 years ago

Ah, got it. Thanks.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 24 points 2 years ago

In America and other Muslim countries, they mutilate the genitals of baby boys upon being born

[–] PatFussy@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

First step of being a real man is getting your dick cut clean off. Everybody knows that

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

A real man would never have had the dick to begin with.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 years ago

your body is touching a dick 24/7. super gay

[–] Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 years ago

Circumcision

[–] radix@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago

what is this google ass font

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 years ago

Calls his own mom a milf. Most sane 4channer.

[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago

That is NOT a proper Haiku. 5-7-5, dude!

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago
[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago

Is the MHLF....his own?