this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2026
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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Enterprise has a crew of 1000 souls. 1000 / 365, means that on average 2 - 3 people share a birthday.

Plugging this into a birthday calculator, there's a very high chance at least 7 people share a birthday on the Enterprise. Not only that, but there should only be 24 days in the year when Ten Forward isn't occupied with a birthday party.

So given that birthday collisions are plentiful, and that birthdays are constantly happening, and that Ten Forward is the only bar in the whole damn ship.... my question is: Why does Riker get to celebrate his alone with full fanfare?


Edit: Birthday Math ^you^ ^asked^ ^for^ ^it^

  • The probability that anyone has a birthday on any given day is 1/365 and can be modeled with a Binomial distribution (Yes/No).
    • Y ~ Binomial(n=1000, p=1/365)
  • When the number of samples is large (ship of 1000 people) and the probability is small, you can model repeated Binomial distributions using a Poisson distribution (independently occurring random events at regular intervals kinda) with a mean of 1000/365.
    • Y ~ Poisson(μ = 2.74)
  • The probability mass function (area under the curve) gives you the probability of a value against that distribution, and for Poisson is PMF(Poisson) = e^-μ^*(μ^k^ / k!)
    • P(Y = K) = PMF(μ, k) (for K exact events, e.g. 10 birthdays)
  • So to calculate the probability of 10 birthdays in a year, you do: 365 * e^-2.74^*(2.74^10^ / 10!) = 0.155 days (i.e. zero)

The following python snippet gives you these outcomes:

Code

import math
def poisson_pmf(mean, k):
     return(math.exp(-mean)*mean**k/math.factorial(k))

def num_days_with_birthdays(num_people, num_birthdays): 
    return(round(365*poisson_pmf(num_people/365, num_birthdays)))

souls = 1000
print(*(f"{n:2d} days with {x:2d} birthdays"
        for x in range(50)
        if (n := num_days_with_birthdays(souls, x))),
      sep="\n")

## For a ship of 1000 people in a 365 day/year cycle
24 days with  0 birthdays
65 days with  1 birthdays
88 days with  2 birthdays
81 days with  3 birthdays
55 days with  4 birthdays
30 days with  5 birthdays
14 days with  6 birthdays
 5 days with  7 birthdays
 2 days with  8 birthdays
 1 days with  9 birthdays

Edit2: In retrospect, Riker could have been one of those 65 people
Edit3: But even then! You don't necessarily do your birthday on the exact day, but wait until the Friday or Saturday night to celebrate it, which would definitely have collisions. So Riker's either super special, or an inconsiderate prick. There, solved it

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[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 90 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Second Officers personal log, supplemental. This is the one thousand five hundred fiftieth day since the Enterprise was commissioned. Besides the arrival of Ambassador T'Pel, other events occurring today include four birthdays, two personnel transfers, a celebration of the Hindu Festival of Lights, two chess tournaments, one secondary school play, and four promotions. Overall, an ordinary day.

S4E11, "Data's Day"

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I just realized I’d hate living on a starship

[–] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 days ago (3 children)

You don't have to attend all that shit

... why two chess tournaments? How many competitive chess players would warrant a 2nd tournament on the same day?

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Kids and adults? Vulcans and other? Hopefully they’re not still doing men’s and women’s chess, but I can see some ways to make two tournaments on the same day reasonable

[–] RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The other chess tournament is Data vs the ship's computer.

[–] Lowca@piefed.social 2 points 3 days ago

The ship can airlock you Data, I’d suggest letting them win.

[–] crapwittyname@feddit.uk 3 points 3 days ago

Normal chess and tri-dimensional chess. The chess purists hold their tournament at the same time as a protest against the abomination.

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[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)

You’re allowed to bring your cat

But you might have to live a career of carrying pads that could have been emailed

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[–] usernamefactory@lemmy.ca 44 points 4 days ago (3 children)

So given that birthday collisions are plentiful, and that birthdays are constantly happening, and that Ten Forward is the only bar in the whole damn ship…

Obvious answer: it's the main characters' favourite bar, but it's not the only bar on the ship.

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 27 points 4 days ago (1 children)

All the cool kids hang out in 10 Rear with the lower decks crew and the Klingon cover bands

[–] TheLadyAugust@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (7 children)

Supposedly there are 16 holodecks on a Galaxy class ship. Why have your party at a bar when you can have it be anything you want?

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

I wanna see the sleazy bar where only the lowest of decks and drunkest of drunks go.

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The best would likely not be on the Enterprise, but rather, Starbase 80.

[–] rants_unnecessarily@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'm watching through Enterprise for the first time and I just now understood Starbase 80's uniforms!

That's hilarious.

[–] quediuspayu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

That has to be a storage room with a few tables and a hacked replicator.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 36 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Federation ships mostly observe an Earth cycle of hours, and probably a year too. But birthdays are tied to a person's home planet, and it's unlikely most of them are around 365 days. So the frequency is probably skewed depending on who is serving on the ship at the time. Or if they even have such a celebration.

[–] ShutUpWesley@piefed.zip 6 points 4 days ago

That's such a good point

[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

It also skews both ways. If a star date is roughly one Earth day, then an alien might have their "birthday" last three days, or only a third of a day. When do they celebrate?

Also fun to think about is that most starships generally have three shifts and the concept of night. But that's all based on an Earth day. Humans have a circadian rhythm that matches a 24 hour day. But what if you need 16 hours of sleep as an alien? What if working 4 hours feels like 16 hours?

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[–] JohnJohnJohn@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

Guys we forgot to take into account not everyone on the ship was born on earth. We have to figure out the average length of year for the average habitable planet in the federation. Also if they celebrate their birthdays based on when their birthday happens on their home planet then wouldn't traveling at warp greatly speed up the relative birth days per 365 Voyager year? No, actually I'm pretty sure Riker is just an attention seeking smarmy manslut.

[–] atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works 23 points 4 days ago

AFAIK the ‘official’ blueprints list some 40+ restaurants, bars, and other similar amenities on board. There is also things like the arboretum and holodecks.

[–] festus@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Other people have great points, but also the crew work different shifts, so some birthday celebrations would happen while the main characters are sleeping.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 6 points 3 days ago

Yeah, Id want my party when all the brass is sleeping. Fuck those losers, my party's gonna be lit.

[–] 14th_cylon@lemmy.zip 19 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Why does Riker get to celebrate his alone with full fanfare?

  • everyone on the ship probably lives on a 3 shift schedule, that changes the calculations significantly.
  • not everyone is a party person and feel the need to have their birthday accompanied by jazz quartet
  • lower decks probably do their celebrations in utility closet 7
  • using the phrase "something something" is lame, you can do better
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[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Ten Forward isn't the only lounge on the ship, just the main fancy one with the staffed bar. There are observation lounges and other, smaller lounges scattered all throughout the ship. Maybe it's just senior officers who get to have birthdays in the cool hangout spot, while others will just throw a party in whatever lounges are closest to their own quarters.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 5 points 3 days ago

Cuz he's the boss, and everybody has to kiss the boss's ass.

Picard is the real boss, but everybody knows he'd get all pissy if they tried to throw him a birthday party. He's such a grump.

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago

Maybe everyone else does, too. The party probably doesn't last all day.

[–] Kushan@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Don't forget, not everyone on the ship is from earth which means their birthdays might not be celebrated every 365 days (or at all, is it's not part of their culture).

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I would love to come from a planet with 100 days in a year. I'd be like "sorry guys, I'm not at work tomorrow, it's the second of my three birthdays! I'm 106."

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[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Also, it is much more likely that the memo to reserve Ten Forward for Riker's birthday made it to Picard in a timely fashion as since one of his friends would be putting this together. As his friends are all Heads of Department, the memo chain is Originator -> XO (Riker) -> CO (Picard).

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Keep in mind the entire crew doesn’t celebrate everyone’s birthday, and even if they did, they’d probably do the soulless corpo thing and do birthdays once a month.

In any case, its also important to note that ten forward isn’t the only crew lounge.

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[–] gnufuu@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago

Wow, these calculations really take the cake

[–] toddestan@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

For all we know, that's just a holodeck simulation of Ten Forward.

[–] Infynis@midwest.social 4 points 3 days ago

Most people probably celebrate on the holodeck

Why does Riker get to celebrate his alone with full fanfare?

Rank has it's privileges.

[–] OnyxRex@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Well, there's always the holodeck.

Let me pitch you on this:

It's a children birthday party on the Enterprise. Ten Forward is a bar and obviously out as a location so they go to the holodeck. A dozen or more children and their parents crammed into the Star Trek equivalent of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza simulation.

And then the safety protocols fail.

Five Nights at Flotter's.

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

At first glance I thought the trombone of Riker was one of the overly glittering admiral outfits of the early TNG.

[–] ShutUpWesley@piefed.zip 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)

A birthday party doesn't take all day. And there are other cool spaces one mayuse to celebrate, gardens, various sporting facilities, and not to mention the holodeck.

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[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Not everyone makes a big public spectacle of their birthday. It's more suspect that the cultural norms remained so similar.

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[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I only want a piece if it’s cellular peptide flavored

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[–] sundray@lemmus.org 5 points 4 days ago

I bet there's a cluster of birthdays roughly nine months after Federation Day. 😉

[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

there's a very high chance at least 7 people share a birthday on the Enterprise

That is... technically... accurate, because statistically only 60+ people on the ship have a birthday to themselves and the rest have birthday collisions.

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[–] tacosanonymous@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Are you doing regular math or birthday math? Bc there’s some weird equation for birthday math.

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