Vagina dentata!
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2026
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tags: unbirth
Inquiring minds want to know, how was tunneling through the goddess's kooch supposed to make mankind immortal?
You un-birth into immortality.
Maybe that's all that's needed. I don't suspect it's ever been tried it again so how could we know.
Apparently knowledge of anatomy was not a part of Polynesian mythology. Even without the teeth, what way out exactly did he plan to take?
This has "menwritingwomen" vibes.
> hentai artists
> Polynesian mythmakers
> having no idea where the fuck a vagina ends
not true, from what I've seen of the hentai arts, I believe the vagina ends in the lungs.
Outside my window is a mountain. Everyone knows it as Koko Crater. But it's actual name is Kohelepelepe which is the Hawaiian name for the labia minor. The story is that a goddess, attempting to rescue another goddess named Pele, throws her vagina all the way from Hawai'i island to O'ahu and it lands in this spot.
I think about this nearly every day (because of the mountain outside my window).
Here's two links related to the story: Wikipedia and a more local essay.
So.. Hawaiian mythology is mostly about vaginas? 🤔
I firmly believe that you can judge a civilization by whether their creation myths, folklore figures, and proto-deities are all on team phallus or team vulva.
Most of the "good" ones by classical to modern standards; team vulva.
I will neither elaborate nor go dig up references because that's work and then a reader might be denied looking up ancient stone penises and vaginas for an afternoon, and that would be tragic.
The norse creation myth involves frost-giants sucking the teats of a cow.
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flying vaginas
with teeth
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To be fair, nobody said that goddess anatomy is at all the same as human anatomy.
She at least has obsidian teeth in her vagina, like most people.
Gods are crazy, that’s a given.
My question is, how tf was that going to get humans to immortality?
reverse the birth process
also life in the breath symbology
Yea I really hate it when my shapeshifting demi-god narrative gets interrupted by anatomical errors of deities.
Technically the vagina is open to the inside of the body via the end of the fallopian tubes. But then once lose in the abdomen i don't see a route to the mouth
Also how big is said goddess? Maybe the imagery was supposed to be similar to Maui being like water. The path isn't direct from mouth to eurethera, but maybe he can be absorbed through barriers as well.
Also... Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?
Also... Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?
Well if we knew that we'd be immortal of course!
Birth and the associated death come from going vagina -> world.
Clearly, if you go: world -> vagina, but the vagina belongs to the conceptual font of birthing life, and you exit it through where said concept eats from, you link birth with eternal feasting.
Duh.
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Well this cooter has teeth (and is a grinder we have learned) so one imagines it has a connection into the digestive system, but then if he knew that, he'd probably have known to avoid the teeth.
He was banking on gingivitis vaginalis, which would let him slip into the blood stream and be carried to the lungs. Once in the lungs, right before leaving for the left atrium (where the blood-pressure is the lowest) he planned on making a small incision into the lung. From here it was just a matter of crawling up.
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So, Moana 3 is at least half written. I like the new direction they’re taking it.
Okayokay, neverminding the teeth and the SA of it all.... why would that make mankind immortal?
You enter into mortality by exiting the vagina at the moment of your birth. Be entering it you return to the immortal realm from which all live emerges, by NOT exiting through it, you retain that immortal status.
Sorry, I thought this was obvious. We really need to teach people where babies come from.
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Why wouldn’t it?
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Please, everyone knows the vagina immortality spell. In the vagina, out the mouth, mind the teeth. It’s all there in the nursery rhyme.
For the record: This seems to be a specific story from to Māori/Aotearoa branch of Māui Mythology. Not the Hawaiian branch. At least as far as a quick wikipedia search can tell.
But to the spirit of OP's post, Disney did draw from across the various myths of Maui for the character, not just the Hawaiian ones.
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Ah, the classic vagina dentata trap. Always practice safer sex and check for teeth first, guys!
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Hawaiian Folklore is so fricking metal!
Just look up Tūtū Pele :)
Dont forget hiding in the bushes with the boys, catching the sun in a net, then beating the fuck out of it until it promised to slow down and give us a reasonable day length.
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Honestly it could happen to anyone
You're welcome?
you see, death by snu snu has a rich and colorful history behind it...
in this essay I wi-
This is why I never use condoms, cause the teeth would just tear the condom anyway
Idk, your mom didn't rip the condom last night... But then again I had paid her extra to take out her dentures. /s
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