this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 145 points 2 days ago (10 children)

Apparently knowledge of anatomy was not a part of Polynesian mythology. Even without the teeth, what way out exactly did he plan to take?

[–] SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org 3 points 16 hours ago

This has "menwritingwomen" vibes.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 198 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"epic handshake" meme

> hentai artists

> Polynesian mythmakers

> having no idea where the fuck a vagina ends

[–] SailorFuzz@lemmy.world 85 points 2 days ago

not true, from what I've seen of the hentai arts, I believe the vagina ends in the lungs.

[–] FrChazzz@lemmus.org 62 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Outside my window is a mountain. Everyone knows it as Koko Crater. But it's actual name is Kohelepelepe which is the Hawaiian name for the labia minor. The story is that a goddess, attempting to rescue another goddess named Pele, throws her vagina all the way from Hawai'i island to O'ahu and it lands in this spot.

I think about this nearly every day (because of the mountain outside my window).

Here's two links related to the story: Wikipedia and a more local essay.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 day ago (2 children)

So.. Hawaiian mythology is mostly about vaginas? 🤔

[–] Aqivex@fedinsfw.app 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I firmly believe that you can judge a civilization by whether their creation myths, folklore figures, and proto-deities are all on team phallus or team vulva.

Most of the "good" ones by classical to modern standards; team vulva.

I will neither elaborate nor go dig up references because that's work and then a reader might be denied looking up ancient stone penises and vaginas for an afternoon, and that would be tragic.

[–] pmk@piefed.ca 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The norse creation myth involves frost-giants sucking the teats of a cow.

[–] imadethis@fedinsfw.app 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I thought the cow licked the ice into the shape of a giant, and then it arose.

[–] pmk@piefed.ca 2 points 1 day ago

I think that's part of it too. First the cow licks a giant into life, and then it drinks maybe?

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's awesome and wild.

Also, are you native Hawaiian? Else how is living on Oahu? We have dreamed of it in the past, sounds delightful in many ways!

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

lmao the natives don’t live on the islands where that dude does

that’s a rich white dude, or maybe asian but probably white

edit lol at the downvotes for the truth

[–] IrateAnteater@sh.itjust.works 64 points 2 days ago (1 children)

To be fair, nobody said that goddess anatomy is at all the same as human anatomy.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 82 points 2 days ago (1 children)

She at least has obsidian teeth in her vagina, like most people.

[–] IrateAnteater@sh.itjust.works 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Those people with the cheap plastic teeth are the worst.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Not everyone cares about dental health and that's the price of poop dental hygiene

I brush and floss my testicular teeth at least twice a day

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Gods are crazy, that’s a given.

My question is, how tf was that going to get humans to immortality?

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 5 points 1 day ago

reverse the birth process

also life in the breath symbology

Yea I really hate it when my shapeshifting demi-god narrative gets interrupted by anatomical errors of deities.

[–] Glowstick@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Technically the vagina is open to the inside of the body via the end of the fallopian tubes. But then once lose in the abdomen i don't see a route to the mouth

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/24346-fimbriae

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Also how big is said goddess? Maybe the imagery was supposed to be similar to Maui being like water. The path isn't direct from mouth to eurethera, but maybe he can be absorbed through barriers as well.

Also... Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Also... Why did we skip over how that would make humans immortal?

Well if we knew that we'd be immortal of course!

[–] Aqivex@fedinsfw.app 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Birth and the associated death come from going vagina -> world.

Clearly, if you go: world -> vagina, but the vagina belongs to the conceptual font of birthing life, and you exit it through where said concept eats from, you link birth with eternal feasting.

Duh.

[–] CannonFodder@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Very logical. And the stupid birds laughed at the sight, woke the goddess and got Māui smooshed. And now we all will die. Fucking birds.

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

Fucking birds

Should've gone extinct sixty-five million years ago with the rest of their misbegotten ilk.

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 6 points 1 day ago

I mean, if you navigate an immortal vagina you must get something right?

[–] turtlesareneat@piefed.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Well this cooter has teeth (and is a grinder we have learned) so one imagines it has a connection into the digestive system, but then if he knew that, he'd probably have known to avoid the teeth.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago

He was banking on gingivitis vaginalis, which would let him slip into the blood stream and be carried to the lungs. Once in the lungs, right before leaving for the left atrium (where the blood-pressure is the lowest) he planned on making a small incision into the lung. From here it was just a matter of crawling up.

[–] aaaa@piefed.world 7 points 2 days ago

It said in the post: in through the vagina, out through the mouth

[–] kn0wmad1c@programming.dev 5 points 2 days ago

They probably imagined he would burrow his way through.