Monkey paw: the genie changes what they really want to be their biological sex.
this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2026
532 points (97.0% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
41583 readers
4337 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Don't forget about the hilarious anti trans closeted trans people who will now have to face reality
I know there are anti-gay people who are secretly gay, but I didn't know the phenomenon extended to trans folk.
It makes sense it would.
It's always about denying to others what you deny to yourself.
I'll use my newfound body to protect my brother's, sisters and everyone in-between.
Only question is how do I get out of my house now that I'm a heavily armed attack helicopter. My fucking rotor blades are stuck in my dam drywall like it's the fucking backrooms.
Excited to see which of the joke-artists actually wake up as an attack helicopter.
Page not made by the original author, but worth reading: https://isabelfall.neocities.org/
This video is required watching. Jacob Geller's best work. 37 minutes long, but please watch the whole thing.
Seems you need to download the PDF to get all of it.
Can we agree that PDFs deserve to longer prison sentences
We’d be an epic goth fae furry girl 100% and would love it epically
I guess I'd take the robot for day 1, but "the body I want" is like the job I want, the car I want, or the clothes I want.
I've experienced being a robot. It's no fun because instead of sleep, you just run up your debt because you can keep working... and then, the planet explodes because they dug too deeply.
This would also be extra funny when turbo closeted biggots get affected too.
Despite not being trans can I have a body that does not sound like slowly breaking a fist full of spaghetti when I get out of bed in the morning?
My immedate reaction was to imagine the sound of cooked spaghetti.
Was wondering why a wet slapping sound would be undesirable first thing in the morning.
I regret that train of thought...
I can feel the grimace from "breaking a fist full of spaghetti" from the denizens of Pastaland all the way up here in northern EU
i have a conspiracy hypothesis that many restaurants break the pasta without telling people because people prefer it without even knowing
Nah theyre just short staffed in pit and the only pots left are too small
Have you tried a hot bath?
I'd need a water bed to have one before getting out of it.
load more comments
(2 replies)
How about just every person?
Oh nevermind - all the guys would end up hung too big.
Wait for the world to get overrun by furries, but it's just middle age bald dudes suddenly having shoulder length hair, six pack abs, and a deep sense of regret about how comfortable it is to carry around a two foot long penis.
People wishing for long hair and 6-pack abs have no clue the maintenance hell they are getting themselves into. The regret about the 2/3rds of a meter dong is spot on. Like envying a woman with melon sized breasts and not realizing how much back pain she deals with.
Growers unite
I've got hair that's about mid back at the longest and I don't find it particularly annoying. But then again I usually keep it pinned with a hat so that probably helps.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Someone will want a body made of antimatter and the earth is gone.
I don't, Earth is like the only plannet we know has life, that's so unique ans special, how can ylu throw that away? For what? To kill 1 specie ? I mean they will probably kill all others and that but I would rather take my chances.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Don’t threaten me with a good time
oh my gosh! I'm SOME of those! :D a fem-leaning androgynous (but functionally genderless) cybernetic wolfthing with trillions of bodies across the multiverse all subliminally linked to the same consciousness!
load more comments
(1 replies)
Isn't that just the plot of Shadowrun? :P
What if everyone gets the body they really want but it ends up in the trunk of your car instead?
I know what I want then
CEOs: audible gulp
Found the genie
wake up as an apache attack helicopter
Yes, yeeees, YEEEEEEES! BRATATATATATATA
Dude condemns himself to starving during a global fuel supply crisis for the sake of a decades old joke, news at 11
I'm sorry I can't hear you over my M230 30mm Chain Guns
Give it a minute or two. After you piss away the ammo and see the sticker shock to re-up, it will be nice and quiet.
I like that you guys assume after I wake up as an attack helicopter I'd just go to my regular day job and then get overwhelmed with my new grocery bill.
Oh no, I can't fit through my apartment door and my rotors keep shredding through my jackets.
load more comments
(2 replies)
view more: next ›