Racoons first
this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2026
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Those thumbs would get them into trouble.
I met a couple with a pet raccoon once. They said it got into everything all the time and generally caused mischief constantly.
They do not have thumbs.
Hello, cat pfp that looks like a dick at first glance! How've you been?
Still trying to live my best life. I need to go to the gym more, but overall good. How are things with you?
Nice! Eh something similar I suppose. "Life". Exploring dating though! I feel like I've met that "someone". Let's see how it goes haha
Have thumbs, can confirm.
How about we work on domesticating people. Seems we've allowed the feral ones to get out of control.
Why does this feel like advocating for slavery..
Don't you see? They've domesticated us. The other apes would've beaten the billionaires to death by now.
Maybe it's like wheat? Cook it once to get bread and twice to get toast.
Has anybody tried domesticating a golden retriever a second time?
I'd rather get a domesticated chimpanzee to help with chores. If someone else, preferably someone with little fear of death and nothing to live for, could get on it, I would appreciate that.
Mr Burns, please, you’re crossing the line from everyday villainy to cartoonish super-villainy
Shut up Smithers! Just get these tranquilized apes into the van before the zookeepers get wise to us!
That sounds like owning a slave with extra steps.
Wait......when you say slave, do you mean like a black person in the southern states of the USA during the mid 1800s?
Or do you mean like a naked guy, wearing only a leather mask, collar, butt plug, and chastity device?
Because both are slaves. Both will do your housework. But they are VASTLY different experiences for all involved.
Funnily enough, both get whipped.
I've seen this movie. It ends with a nuclear explosion that throws two of the new ape-people back in time!
I feel like this would be like basically selectively breeding the down syndrome equivalent into them
If someone else, preferably someone with little fear of death and nothing to live for
My time to shine!!!! Oh, but also I'm very lazy.
They already did foxes, didn’t they?
And the fox was ok with this? What did the fox say?
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow?
It made friends with a dog. They were the best of friends, having so much fun together. They weren’t even aware they were such a funny pair.
As a switch, a service top, and a (hybrid) wolf: yes hello
i wonder if we could selectively breed them to be able to speak? like how much time would it take to breed the intelligence and necessary vocal stuff to make that possible