All celebrities are some flavor of disgusting. Zionist, racist, Epsteinite, you name it. That's the only reason they're allowed to become the public facing gods of the civic religion of capital in the first place.
this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2026
60 points (98.4% liked)
askchapo
23308 readers
119 users here now
Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.
Rules:
-
Posts must ask a question.
-
If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.
-
Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.
-
Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
I seem to remember some weird drama where he was mad at his girlfriend, who was a surfer and a model, for wearing revealing clothes in public. He has a pretty respectable movie career but acts like such a weird, insecure loser.
you can remove the excess weight but you can't remove the feelings behind the excess weight.
Doesn't help when his career was pretty much built on him being the butt of the joke for being the fat, weird looking guy. It doesn't excuse misogyny or violence, but you understand why someone who was treated like that when they were a teen and young adult has a giant chip on their shoulder.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Damn I forgot about that, yeah read those texts and you can see his character and its ugly
He sounds deeply insecure
Yeah, he's been trying to escape the reputation he started with, and because he has both body image issues and works in an industry that's particularly geared towards unhealthy, difficult to maintain beauty standards, he's having a really hard time adjusting to the body he now has. Non-celebrities go through this too, but he also has way more people watching him struggle with it, and that initial reputation is still probably constantly on his mind. There's an asshole hiding in there too, but his insecurity seems well-founded.
My wife is often like 'You're not going to become a professional fighter, you know that right?'
Hey Jonah my ex wife Deborah (who got the kids!) said the same thing when I turned our garage into a dojo. Well guess who just managed to kick the ass that neighbor kid who keeps doing skateboard tricks on his driveway Deborah!
R U AN BARB STIL COMING FOUR BINGO?
LET ME TALK 2 BARB NOT A MASHINE
He has always been a chud. Theres a reason he ain't in shit anymore. Remember when dude had that surfer babe girlfriend and he got pissed when she surfed with one of her surfing buddies who was a dude? Fuck Jonah Hill, take this tire iron to your teeth and shut up about jiu jitsu.
Everyone likes McLovin better
This sounds like a character Jonah Hill would play for sure.
I dont see him as the fat guy from super bad, I see him as the fat guy from 21 jumpstreet.
I always use the term "I like my odds"
And the square you have to circle is if he has consistently trained since whenever that picture of him in a white belt came out (at least 4 years ago) he probably could fuck all three of them up. That's even if he's doing the celebrity thing of only doing privates where a bunch of fancy reputation professors (black belts) teach him techniques without ever having to test it against the general public. Some celebrities do that sort of thing because a lot of people's paychecks revolve around them not showing up on set visibly beaten or injured.
Because of that and the context of being on stage, getting positive reactions from his costars, and being in front of an audience, that's probably showbiz talking through him. I'm not saying the person underneath isn't a chud and the kernel of truth isn't there, but it smells of banter to me. I can just imagine how if I wanted to tell stories about how my wife reacted to my aching joints there's not a soul in that venue who will care, but if I rattle a saber a little bit suddenly every forum on the planet is talking about me and my favorite sport. If I got that much attention you better believe I'm not media trained enough to handle anything; I'm immediately trying to take sponsorships and HaileyWelchmaxxing
I always use the term "I like my odds".
I do too. Yet somehow I never use it in my jokes. But that changes now. 'N I like my odds. What is my interlocutor gonna do when I throw him to the ground in a double leg takedown...
And the square you have to circle is if he has consistently trained since whenever that picture of him in a white belt came out (at least 4 years ago) he probably could fuck all three of them up.
Eh I dunno aren't most martial arts made up bullshit that only works in the limited constraints of the sport? One well placed kick to the nuts and he's gone.
I have a big ol' soapbox about dirty fighting not being as good as you would hope. To make a long story short, if you were going to win the fight, you don't need them. If you weren't, then you've just made the person on top of you unhappy and they have a wider set of options than you.
Think it just depends on what you consider "dirty fighting". Imo there is no such thing as dirty fighting if you are being assaulted. If biting someone's nose off is going to help stop someone from getting brain damage then it's all fair game.
I've only been in like two serious scraps in my life and neither of those people thought it was fair that I picked them up and bounced them off the pavement. Imo if you didn't want that then you shouldn't start a fight with someone big enough to throw you.
My thesis is that seldom would biting someone's nose help you from getting brain damage and more often it's going to be the origin of their motivation to give you brain damage. The nut shot is what's going to escalate the level of violence of a losing fight from a bloody nose and a headache to lost teeth and a skull fracture.
I'm not saying that it's unfair, I'm asserting that it's ineffective. Rude attacks are much more effective from the top position. If someone is straddling you in mount and you grab for their groin, they might grab your fingers and break them for the trouble and then do your eyes like the Mountain from Game of Thrones. Their nuts kind of ache, but you come out of the altercation with mangled fingers and scratched corneas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPzVQ98KC0k
Bas Ruten, UFC Heavyweight Champion, UFC hall of famer, and three-time King of Pancrase world champion, has the story I'm looking for @ 3 minutes of this video and goes on to explain the point much more emphatically than I can. (CW: It's Joe Rogan)
load more comments
(10 replies)
Eh I dunno aren’t most martial arts made up bullshit that only works in the limited constraints of the sport? One well placed kick to the nuts and he’s gone.
Most martial arts, maybe, but Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is not included in the list of made up bullshit because it's one of the few where you regularly spar with fully resisting opponents. There are legitimate criticisms of BJJ and it has limitations like every other martial art, but it's very far from being bullshit.
Edit: also, most legitimate, traditional martial arts are not bullshit either. They tend to be somewhat less effective than the ones where you train with fully resisting opponents, but there are still fighting skills that can be learned from them.
I did BJJ on and off for a few years, there's too much ground play and the meta at my gym was people laying down on the ground and kicking at people. Very boring and not realistic, from my experience at least
I'll always have a bias because I did a bunch of judo and muay thai to account for people who don't come to the ground easily. But I would say that boring and annoying makes for a really good self defense system. In my ideal world I'm an annoying wet blanket until somebody comes to help me. I've also beaten a black belt in competition by way of taking a judo grip which was enough to convince them to pull guard and then keeping relentless pressure after that. Similar for a brown belt; I was in a competition I didn't want to be in so my hope was to throw them immediately to dissuade them from resisting, but they frame 1 pulled guard.
load more comments
(7 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
A lot of these kinds of people think they're really hard until the guy at the pub hits them over the head with a brick.
blue belt ass mentality
blue belts deserve everything that blue uniforms do (on the mat of course).
He has been writing and directing, but not so successfully it seems. His latest project was supposed to release last month but has been shelved as "unreleaseable". Definitely seems like he has fallen off in the business. Possibly this is related to some behavioral problems and lack of likeability.
I liked the fat guy from superbad...
Green belts when they let beating white belts get to their head
Sounds like he may just be doing a light bit
I was (and am) far too lazy to find the video but I wondered if that was it.
I mean, I hope I never have to run into you somewhere Jonah. You're a miserable sweaty pos.
Sounds like he is overcompensating for being the fat guy from Superbad. And the fat guy from 21 Jumpstreet, and the fat guy from The Sitter, and the fat guy from The Wolf of Coke Street, so. Being typecast sucks I'm fairly sure but dude is still a piece of shit, fat bjj guy, skinny bjj guy, whatever.
without seeing the clip, maybe he was joking, but sans context it really reads like he's just super insecure about his public perception.
Chuds do flock to UFC, but Jiu Jitsu doesn't have to be that way exclusively. I'm lucky to have found a Jiu Jitsu gym that is extremely chill, queer/trans inclusive, and contains a few comrades. If you can find a unicorn gym like this in your area and are up for it, it's like the most fun exercise ever. It's also not for everybody, but it's extremely humbling to have someone half your weight throw you around the room, and the diversity of people you meet can be really great from teenagers to retirees, all walks of life.
Now, I would never talk about how much I could kick everybody's ass, much less announce it at a press conference. If you go into this with a sense of humility it's a lot of fun and a practical, challenging exercise. If you go in with aspirations to be bad ass, one has to wonder where your head is at.
And if three people wanted to hurt me they easily could, because there are three of them after all. If they agreed to go one at a time, wear spandex, no striking and to respect the tap, maybe!
But yeah, feel like Jonah here is Joe Roganing his way through life when he could be Jack Blacking.
Jiu jitsu is hilarious because anime nerds have to get along with people whose profile picture is sunglasses in a truck. It's a very tentative alliance.
If there's one thing I wish I could do with a black belt it's finding a way to teach the dolls a little bit about defending themselves.
(I'm reasonably sure he means any of them, not all of them)
"Do you agree to go one at a time, wear spandex, no striking and to respect the tap?"
"Oh, man. Fair play? And that means Mike can't use his auto-baton. We gotta think it over..."
He needs to shut up and make another season of Allen Gregory
I see him as a unnecessarily long and tedious tangent in Maniac. The scenes in the lab were great but I ended up fast forwarding through every thing else.
Literally same, he's a neurotic from a rich family, we get it!
That self hated... man, maybe people don't watch movies and that's all they saw you in. Like imagine if that was literally you, you hadn't seen nothing else he's done. And then he drops this!
Idk. I know that the more involved he is on a project the worse it is.
I couldn’t even get through, You People.
So he actually played himself in War Dogs?
Oh hey, it's Jonah Hill. Y'know, the guy who emotionally abused his wife so bad that it started the whole therapy speak abuse trend. Wasn't he the fat guy from that movie?
load more comments
(2 replies)
He's a bougie pos, comes from money, went to some elite school for monsters, is notorious for being an unmitigated ass hole
load more comments
(1 replies)
view more: next ›