Work Reform

Got it. Show up to work so you can kiss your bosses ass often and in person so that they give you a promotion solely based on your in person ass licking.

Sounds to me like a broken system that promotes based on the wrong metrics....

Love it when they state so clearly that promotions are a byproduct of office politics, not actual work performance.

Does linkedin they also have instructional infographics on how to get a raise or promotion by blackmailing or extorting your boss?

Everything in that meme is categorically untrue and complete nonsense.

Year 3: From your home office, you spearhead multiple high level projects which triple the billable hours of your department. You are not in the office enough to lick the asshole of your manager so Bob the intern gets the promotion. Bob will be paid entry level salary and really knows how to get the tongue deep in that brown hole.

Year 4: Enough is enough. You quit that stupid job and secure a job with a company that values performance based promotions and raises. No one knows anything about your projects and when you leave they whither on the vine.

Year 5: You run into Bob at the pub. He says management converted the office to AI and everyone got fired.

Year 6: You chuckle when you drive by that company you used to work for and find the building is now for lease and the company is in bankruptcy.

Year 1: "incredibly productive"

Year 5: "not about the work"

I love how they freely admit that it has nothing to do with being good at your job and everything to do with schmoozing.

"You got the promotion, yet somehow your quality of life is shittier because you are spending 1/4th of your net pay on gas and eating out and child care and you had to get rid of your dog because you are not around enough to properly handle an animal, plus you have 10 hours less free time during the week because of your commute."

Year 1: incredibly productive

So if productivity is up why are we going up hybrid in the first place?

Hahaha get fucked i've worked remote since 2015.

lol what a load of bullshit

If it isn't about the work then TF is it about?

I go to work for MONEY. You pay to make you MONEY. For me to make you money, you need me to WORK

It is about the work.

Now pay me more

A raise with no promotion = more pay for the same responsibilities.

The last point in year 3 sounds divine.

Also at the end of it all they went for a 4 day work week, on top of the raises.

Not having a conversation with my supervisor for months at a time is literally the dream.

I find it interesting how "the promotion" is an end in itself. No context, no details, just "the promotion". And you didn't get it! Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Whoever came up with this has probably always used 'optics first, actual results last' in their shitty career so far.

The secret to this is not believing in the promotion fairy.

If you want a promotion, apply for it at another company. If you get it, awesome, if you don't, try at a 3rd company.

At my current job, the agreement is I do the job you hired me for, and you give me the money and benefits we agreed upon.

LinkedIn is such wanker filled trash

Promoted twice since I last saw my boss in person. I asked him if would see any issue himself or for the company if I relocated myself back across the country closer to family; he was confused as to why I even asked.

He's not even a particularly good boss in most ways, but tons of people want to work for him because he stays the fuck out of their way.

I quit 2 jobs that had a RTO. One was Salesforce when they acquired Slack. The other was another software company that I still have an NDA with.

I'm never going back into the office. I rather make less money.

What's interesting is that I'm actually making more money doing remote because I don't need to commute or pay for lunches or happy hours anymore. Actual time spent at work calculated, I'm making 40% more $.

Year 3: I get a new job that values my output instead of my physical location.

Year 4: I still laugh about the morons in managment.

All I see reading this is that managers and CEOs have never reached the object permanence phase of brain development, and need to be constantly visually reminded their employees exist or they'll never promote them regardless of the work they do.

But then, I guess no manager of a multi-office company has had a team member in another location prior to COVID, so how could they possibly have planned for what to do in that situation.

nobody connects to it the four days

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT I HATE THIS WORLD

Or you can skip all that and leave after year 2 and get a better paying job.

Well ok then, in their own words, managers are incompotent morons who lack object permanence and have no idea how to gauge the usefulness or productivity or worth of any employee... without being able to invade their personal space and randomly question them.

Replace them with LLMs, LLMs would do a better job, these people don't deserve to be paid anything, they do literally nothing useful that a hopped up autocomplete algorithm can't do to the same effectiveness.

Funny how, even in their weird masturbatory LinkedIn fever dreams, the person still ends up going from working in office five days a week, to four.

So apparently all of this was still worth it.

They don't show the alternative where he spent the commuting time applying for jobs.

With the comic style plagiarized here, I fully expected throwing a baby to be one of the steps...

Ah ... a participation trophy based business strategy.

Don't to to the office. People who think up shit like the above are there.

If I wanted my job to like this I would have become an actress.

I'm fully remote but I still have meetings and chat with my coworkers and boss all the time. I guess I'm doing it wrong 😅

We need a new plague.

It's real, but it frames it as though it's the employees fault for not doing self-promotion rather than the manager's fault for not keeping track of all the team members it's his job to support.

Jesus Christ, capitalists are fucking unhinged with their bullshit.