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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.today/post/53377539
That's kinda on you, dude. Nothing is stopping you from subscribing to toothbrush premium with mouth-print authentication. Before you start whining, no, you don't actually have to listen to the two minutes of ads for sour candy, transmitted directly through your jaw bones. You can always upgrade to add-free. It's only like $10 per month.
$10 per month? I thought it was $10 per tooth..
No, it's a flat fee, but you get a 10% discount off of tooth implant services provided by our network of dentists whom we charge 20% to participate in our exclusive market.
Same thing with only one tooth left
Toothbrush premium has been sunset and replaced by toothbrush plus by popular customer demand.
It's superior features have a newly redesigned the consumer experience. Ads can be skipped. Up to three times to be reviewed at a later date.
Of course we also have the new ultra premium subscription model for the low price of 9,99 per week where you can submit your ad preferences!
Dude, you must have just void someone’s patent idea xD
Yeah, this is kind of on you.
If you spend your money on a "smart" toothbrush, expect it to do "smart" stuff.
And soon with AI, smart things will get even smarter.
I have a "smart" toothbrush, I have never logged into it or connected to to anything but the charging block. It still has multiple modes and buzzes when I've been brushing a quadrant for 30 seconds.
So does my non-internet-connectable dumb electric toothbrush
they probably dont look all those reviews online about these, i got curious and most of them said they stopped working, or some part of the smart features becomes defective within a year.
anything above oral-b 1500 series, you are asking for it. 1500 and below you are just getting the standard rotating toothbrush with no smart gimmicks, and they last alot longer too. plus, oral-b makes thier money from the toothbrush heads, its every 3 months replacements, but the official replacements heads are expensive. if you are buying the IO series you will have to get those.
"Brushing experience". Every morning is an adventure.
And that's what you get for buying an internet toothbrush.
indeed all the reviews i saw about these both brand name ones and off brands are defective one way or another.
Did you remember to drink a verification can of Mountain Dew?
Internet of things was a mistake
Nah.
Like it often tends to be, the mistake wasn't the concept itself, but rather letting some of the worst and least qualified people get away with any fuckery they want in the neverending quest for short term profits and shareholder dividends.
The IOT could DEFINITELY be a vehicle for actual convenience with no drawbacks for consumers if we would just have and enforce laws and regulations favoring their experience over the profits of misery-makers.
i agree with your philosophy bit i still think the instability thay comes from the added complexity always outweighs the use
I gave up on electric toothbrushes. My dentist recommended them, I used them, got two infections in six months where I had no issues for years. Returned to normal brushes three years ago, no more infections.
They are definitely, without a question, much more effective at cleaning your teeth. My guess is coincidence vs. you had a poor technique when it came to using them
Or bought a bad model, some electric toothbrushes just have a vibrating handle and that doesn’t transfer much to actual brushing benefit. I do notice the ones where the brush actually spins or oscillates make a huge difference.
not all electric brushes are made equal. my dad's best friend is an oral surgeon so i know a fair bit about teef
Oh ffs this is ridiculous. Wtf does a toothbrush need internet?
To collect data for advertisers and health officials. To add a subscription to turning on your tooth brush.
too collect data, and make it look like you are buying a bougie product, because it has all these features. some off-brand ones that are way cheaper has the same thing already.
you usually dont encounter these ones unless you are paying alot for it, like 80-200$+ for the expensive lines of oral-b.
it must be those smart-lines of oral-b that are very expensive, like 100-200$+ the ones less than 70 wont do this. i heard the bougie ones are quite flimsy and prone to breaking.
Can confirm! I bought one on sale which never connected to Bluetooth on my Samsung android (though documentation suggested it should.) connected to partners iPhone though. Anyway I used for less than 3 months before it stopped charging. I then went back to using the £25 I'd had for many years.
💩 No one expects the enshittification! 💩
PSA that boar bristle and horse hair toothbrushes are available and fantastic
Having been near a horse before, I’ll take my chances with the microplastics.
Vile creatures.
I feel bad for all the horses they kill to satisfy your toothbrush fetish.
Yes, every time a horse needs to be groomed, it's a death sentence for them. Well, some horses think they coulda' had died. It coulda' happened that way you know. But they all somehow survive.
Interestingly enough, or not, at one time horse hair was the most popular material to make all kinds of brushes out. There were millions of horses, and they all needed to have their manes and tails groomed and cut several times a year. So there was a renewable and never ending supply. People were happy, and the horses were happy.
But, then came WW1. And along with all the guns, artillery, and ammunition needed to feed these engines death and destruction, copious amounts of other far more mundane items were also required by soldiers. And one of those mundane items were shaving brushes.
Soldiers are required to shave every day no matter what. So that meant every solider needed a shaving kit. This meant the military needed to supply a razor, blades, shaving soap, and a shaving brush to every solider. And the cheapest and most abundant brush to buy in bulk, was horse hair. But there soon was a problem.
Turns out all that patriotic horses were being sent to war to get killed just like all the men. And that in the western world, horse hair quickly was in short supply. And the soldiers still needed shaving brushes.
So, the brush factories started importing horse hair brushes from the Far East, mainly China. And because the Chinese either didn't understand that horse hair needs to be sterilized, or it was just Chinese businessmen being Chinese, they skipped that step and didn't tell anyone. And soon soldiers were being infected with tetanus and dying at an alarming rate. It is one thing to send your soldiers to die in the face of machine-gun fire, and a whole 'nother thing to waste them dying from tetanus infected shaving brushes instead. So they panicked switched to boar bristle brushes instead.
And so great was the fear of cheap imported horse hair shaving brushes from the Orient, that the US passed a Federal law banning the importation of horse hair brushes or horse hair and even the manufacture of those brushes in the US. A prohibition that lasted until recently. Other nations enacted similar bans or implemented strict rules regarding in manufacture and sale. And so horse hair shaving brushes faded from consumers minds.
The last horse hair shaving brush manufacturer in the west, an old Spanish company-- Vie-Long, finally quit making them a few years ago now. (I own and regularly use 3 of them). So new horse hair shaving brushes are now extinct. And that includes the rare and heavily fetishized horse hair tooth brushes.
Fortunately, you can get synthetic shaving knots and tooth brushes that very good these days. And so people with those peculiar fetishes can continue their private kinks.
Is this a meme? The hair is collected from grooming horses. It would be so uneconomical to kill horses for something they produce far more effortlessly than milk
Oh noez, now you’ll have to switch to Bluetooth.
LOL, I thought this was a joke.
And when they stopped supporting your device, your teeth will look like this
years ago a colleague of mine used to say: could you, please, unplug your book from my computer? i need to charge my cigarette.
Important question, are verification cans bad for my teeth?
Drink verification can to log in to customer support to ask.
Answer: 10 out of 10 of our Marketing Department Experts agree, Beverage(tm) is Healthy and Healing (legally defined as part of a balanced diet and lifestyle, serving size 19.2 ml per day)
Thank you for using customer support. Please drink verification can to Rate your experience, because we care about what you think.
Also, drink verification can to join our Giveaway Competition for one free week of sleep in Pear's Premium iRestPods! Competition is for which user can get the most viral clip of themselves, doing the #BeverageCanGuzzleChallenge!
I won't buy smart anything, except a phone.
but why one needs a smart toothbrush that requires an account in the first place? does it have a loudspeaker so you can listen to some Cannibal Corpse on Qobuz while brushing your teeth?
Philip's Sonicare line uses an app to track your brushing habits and can tell you when you're underbrushing spots. It's almost definitely also spyware, though, like all major corpo apps.
Last time i tried to do it on my brush thinking that you could easily swap profiles between myself and wife, it turned out to be a single account device and you had to login to another account to use it... who the fuck got time for that?
Why do this if you provide multiple interchangable brush heads?!