this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 7 points 3 hours ago

The tweet screenshot tweet OP posted, but without the author's name and username scribbled out. Tweet by nick @nickturani: "Surprise visit to see my girls apartment for the first time: 1. She already has the toilet seat up for me 2. Turn on the TV: already on ESPN 3. Look in the closet: a man so I can make a new friend. An accommodating queen!"

Giving credit is cool.

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 22 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I'm getting old...

I read "my girl" and initially assumed he meant "my daughter" XD

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Because he wrote the plural

[–] Mesophar@pawb.social 4 points 5 hours ago

He wrote it possessive, but was lazy and didn't add the apostrophe

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 1 points 8 hours ago

You're also either Polish or just very millenial

[–] faqtimaan@lemmy.wtf 3 points 10 hours ago

World needs more innocent guys like u ❤️🤣

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 52 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I hope they made out and jacked eachother off in the closet, otherwise I don't think the friendship will last.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 hours ago

Suddenly poly

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago (2 children)

He seemed interested, but he was still in the closet, you know.

[–] just_an_average_joe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

But he would be gay about the situation if it happened

[–] Ariselas@piefed.ca 5 points 1 day ago

wouldn't they need to come out of the closet first? at least to each other.

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

He was being a dick. He wouldn't let me have a turn in the closet. I had to fuck the girl myself it was so exhausting.

It is obvious the closet dude didn't cheat on your girl, he's gay, sad that he still in the closet.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago (4 children)

lol you don’t need women to make friends with other guys

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

i do at my girlfriend's house. my wife just doesn't approve of that.

[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 31 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

How else are you supposed to meet them? I always file my requisition forms through certified intermediaries.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The proposals were on display at the local planning office on Alpha Centauri for 50 Earth years!

[–] teslekova@sh.itjust.works 4 points 12 hours ago

Beware of the leopard.

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

I always meet my friends through my local sex offender database :D

[–] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 3 points 22 hours ago

Just a dog.

Or Grindr.

[–] youcantreadthis@quokk.au 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Okay but if you stick to metamours you know you'll always have some likes in common and stuff to talk/conspire about its a valid friend making tool

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It’s a valid friend making tool, but men also rely heavily on their women partners for socialization. There should be a balance.

[–] youcantreadthis@quokk.au 3 points 16 hours ago

That's really valid I don't think I interact with any straight or cis men on a regular basis so I forget how weird and bad they are

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ExtremeDullard@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
  1. is so you don't piss all over the seat
  2. is so you watch the game and shut the fuck up
  3. Why do you look in her closet?
[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

3.for friends. you never read Narnia?

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm in it to meet Mr. Tumnus and the Turkish delights.