this post was submitted on 09 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 30 comments
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[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 69 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Door unlocks, and it’s just the one guy working and all the Krispy Kreme donuts look funny.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Funny? Funny how? Like I'm a clown? Do I amuse you?

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago

Lad, I think you've lost your mind.

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

So that's how they get glazed, TIL.

Doesn't matter I've already preplanned the high five based on the information in the note and that is happening.

I waited and I'm committed to the pre planned high five i ran in my head like a movie while waiting.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 62 points 4 days ago
[–] qwertyasdf@feddit.uk 34 points 4 days ago (4 children)

30 mins? I can hardly last 30 seconds!

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 22 points 4 days ago (1 children)

They gotta clean up and cuddle a bit.

[–] Godnroc@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

25 bonus minutes to hide the body.

[–] prex@aussie.zone 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Fuck me dead, that took a turn.

[–] popekingjoe@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Looks like we got another. Grab the spades boys.

Thank God, I've been horny for like 5 minutes.

[–] CameronDev@programming.dev 16 points 4 days ago

They have 60 partners to please

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (5 children)

it's just me or that's a young people problem?

when I was younger climaxing in a minute was a problem.

I'm almost 40 now, and it takes my at least 30 minutes of rigorous fucking to climax. quikies are a thing of the past.

I'm not particularly healthy nor athletic.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 days ago

You're the one calling it a problem. Different people are wired different. I'm not going to label you like you are me, but 30min is not my jam, I got stuff to do or need to sleep that sounds like a chore to me personally.

[–] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 7 points 4 days ago

Just a wiring difference in people.

For me, I've noticed it's heavily correlated with frequency and how turned on i am. Like once in a few weeks and being really turned on under good conditions and yeah it takes less than 10 seconds to bust a nut, just gotta make sure that the partner is already satisfied by that time.

On the other hand with higher frequency, like once in every few days and similarly it can take a while as well. Basically it becomes a race against time before i get bored and lose erection, even with boner pills, usually 30-45 min(absolute max) and i just give up.

I am rather healthy and athletic in my 30s, just fucked up brain.

[–] Asfalttikyntaja@sopuli.xyz 3 points 4 days ago

I don’t know how others feel but in my age it takes 29 minutes to get it up, and after that one more minute it’s all over.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

60 here. I'd probably need to abstain for a week to get done in 30 minutes.

[–] TerraRoot@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago

I had the opposite when I was younger I was all "yeah staying power!" now I know it was ADHD all along and thinking about other things during sex is one way to wear out your partner

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 9 points 4 days ago

Growing up the saying was "the first shot is just the start of the race".

[–] N0libri@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 4 days ago

Caution: wet floor :3

[–] SSETranquility@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago

When I worked at Blockbuster my managers were dating and they would do this lol They learned where the blind spots from the cameras were so they would do it in the middle of the sales floor

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 days ago

Well there’s a humble brag…

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Karen banging on the door: "I need to talk to the manager!", but the manager was busy.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Well Karen was banging

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Bro out here lasting 30x longer

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

Might write a few signs like this and just stick them on unsuspecting shop windows.

[–] Echo5@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Y’all all forgetting about foreplay