this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] explodIng_lIme@lemmy.world 77 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] snooggums@piefed.world 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] urushitan@kakera.kintsugi.moe 5 points 1 month ago

Insert, upsert

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

there are so many links that i've clicked expecting to be horny that turned out to be IT server stuff >:|

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

i feel that this is not appropriate for children and i want this changed to dom/sub or top/bottom. maybe dick/butt. poker/hole?

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 3 points 1 month ago

I mean, main/sub is a strong alternative ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[–] SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Construction is like this too.

Erection, nipples, rods, pipes, vibrators, lube, rope, caulk, penetrate, lay hardwood, and my all time favorite. “Hey Frank, come give me a reach around, I need an extra hand here”

Edit, nailing studs.

[–] Denvil@piefed.world 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I love telling people who aren't from Cincinnati that I had a threeway with some strangers in a parking lot

That is, I ate a 3-way (Cincinnati chili, cheese, and spaghetti) in a parking lot on lunch break with some random plumbers who were also taking their break there

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

how do you know someone's from Cincinnati?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

[–] Denvil@piefed.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'll have you know that Cincinnati cuisine is the absolute greatest cuisine to EVER originate in Cincinnati

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

I cannot disagree. You guys need the tautology award for tautology award winners.

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 6 points 1 month ago

Some men are born great
Some men achieve greatness
... and some are from Ohio

Political slogan from the 1840's Presidential campaign ("Tippacanoe and Tyler too!")

[–] DarthFreyr@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

"Get me some oil so I can tap this tight hole. You're going to need to screw it hard, and then drop a double nut on it. Make sure to keep your bush clean, or you can try sticking your finger in and twisting it around, otherwise you'll never get this hard shaft into it. And remember: if it's walking funny when you drill, try putting the tip between a pair of nuts."

Maybe a bit more machining, but it's not even a stretch to make it sound absolutely terrible. Those are all even pretty reasonable statements in context (if you know zero slang), not just isolated words.

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[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 44 points 1 month ago (2 children)

haha forking processes and killing children

wait

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago

Remove child from parent using fork

:)

[–] pressanykeynow@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Daemon spawning mmm

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 37 points 1 month ago (2 children)

We used to finger our users too.

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[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh my god I'm sorry I compiled so fast. This never happens. You're just so pretty...

[–] cbazero@programming.dev 8 points 1 month ago

I dumped my core so fast ...

[–] vrek@programming.dev 15 points 1 month ago

Unzip. Finger. Fsck. Sleep.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Linux shell also has... a thing going on.

touch
top
mount
man
fsck
[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] hancock@retrolemmy.com 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ptu@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Software, firmware, and hardware.

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[–] Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 month ago

I think there are 4 reasons:

  1. Most people are very horny
  2. It people are very online
  3. A lot of it people are obsessive with it, consequently easily identifiable as such.
  4. Other professions aren't as identifiable, or online.
[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago

touch grass

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Just wait until you learn about buttplug.io!

[–] tauonite@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Vibe coding before it was cool

[–] kungen@feddit.nu 3 points 1 month ago

The only good kind of vibe coding*

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[–] gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

you cannot create art if you aren't horny.

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[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

--verbose is for when you want dirty talk

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[–] Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] joe@lemmy.today 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Look, most of us are just kinda repressed and low-level horny at all times

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[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 month ago

It goes WAY back.

The Apollo Guidance Computer software had a routine called KISSING. ...about LM-CM docking, of course.

You saw the opening scene of Apollo 13 and thought only the astronauts used horny references in regards to the docking? Think again! So did the programmers.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago

Tell me more about Alice's brother Bob's sisters.

Maybe they can help me find a new way to decompress.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Wait till you get into game development. You'll be doing a lot of parent/child relationship, and killing orphans.

[–] pewpew@feddit.it 4 points 1 month ago

That feeling when your code compiles after a long session of refactoring

[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

It's all the trans girls and eggs. We tend to show up in software roles a lot, and we tend to be pretty horny.

[–] ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

We're good with technology, so we're VERY easily able to find our EXACT preferred porn for our EXACT fetishes. That snowballs.

Also, forget ALT-TAB. We Linux users LOVE having keyboard shortcuts for completely different desktops... for reasons.

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