this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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Idk how many customers I've had who claimed they change navigate simple web pages suddenly find some sentence buried deep in the fine print of the term and conditions that they can use to badger me into accepting a 2 year old return.

More like "lazy-iterate"

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 35 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I do not miss working retail

Everyone treats you like scum

The state should allow every retail worker to carry a cattle prod or electric whip and give them free reign to utilize it

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 28 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Don’t worry, I pushed a hotfix

Patch notes:

retail and service workers now spawn with 12-gauge shotguns

beans make you fart even more

Owls are less dirty

you can fast travel by drinking alcohol

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

owls are less dirty

Shit meta devs pls buff

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

sorry we had to nerf owls after the piss and shit update ruined pvp servers

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 1 points 3 days ago

Poo vs piss servers

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

COME GET SOME...

Of our amazing deals and offers!

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You know who worked retail…

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

Shop smart

Shop S-Mart

[–] yellowfattybean@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh hi, long forgotten childhood memory

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I got in trouble for talking about playing Duke Nukem 3D at school

Definitely never forgetting that

[–] yellowfattybean@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

"shake it baby"

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

Owls are less dirty

oh no, look what you've done to me

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago

Every retail worker should be allowed one free kill per year.

[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 21 points 3 days ago

they are feeding the tos into ai and using it to find the loophole

hope this helps

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 21 points 3 days ago

I think you're onto something there. I've worked the e-mail job and for a while I thought I was just dealing with general statistic illiteracy levels, especially if you take into account how many people are literate in the sense they can read at a 6th grade level or so.

But then the same people can suddenly parse text way beyond that. my new personal theory is that reading isn't something done halfway automatic for them, it's a chorse. Like takes actual effort. They can if they want to, for most things they just don't.

[–] john_brown@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

I am pretty convinced that most Americans who are illiterate are just lazy. They could do it but they don't care to or lack the attention span. Giving people a list of steps to take to accomplish something results in them giving up reading anything after step three and reporting that it didn't work. They'll say they followed all the steps in a guide, then I'll ask them about the specific step they clearly didn't do and they'll say they did it, then I'll ask them a specific part of that step and they'll do it and hey wouldn't you know it, the guide does work.

[–] Sabbo@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

Because if I act incompetent I get better service. You don't start a call with tech support by telling them all the troubleshooting you've already done. You let em read the script, push the sales on you, and then you get the technician in ten minutes rather than an hour.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Look I wouldnt have done the reading if the teacher didnt say we would get a water park trip for doing the reading

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You got to go to a water park?

We only got erasers shaped like things

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (3 children)

No, not really, that just came to mind cause of that one Bobs Burgers episode

[–] Self_Sealing_Stem_Bolt@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"I didnt even know there were 500 books" gets me every time

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 2 points 3 days ago

Its one of my favorite episodes

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

🎵PLAYDATES, PLAYDATES, SUPER FUN PLAYDATES🎵

🎵GONNA PLAY WITH YOU 'TIL WE DIE🎵

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ok, so, we know we sound great together singing Kpop

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Brb, gonna go suck on some hard candies

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

And I gotta visit a tramp named O'Line

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

🎵PLAYDATES, PLAYDATES, SUPER FUN PLAYDATES🎵

🎵GONNA PLAY WITH YOU 'TIL WE DIE🎵

[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

Whatever gets people to do the reading!

[–] MayoPete@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

Wait what all I got was some mid pizza 🍕

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago
[–] sangeteria@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

We gotta start convincing people that communism is the ultimate treat LMAO

[–] lucidity@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Also, read the theory just because it's good readin'! Lenin is so damn funny!


This user is suspected of being a bear. Please report any suspawcious behaviour.

[–] Imnecomrade@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I fail that often when reading theory. Especially Lenin's stuff, but a lot of leftist theorists were funny as hell. Lenin was definitely the most catty, though. Which tracks, since he really liked cats. (But, like, who doesn't like cats, right?)


This user is suspected of being a bear. Please report any suspawcious behaviour.

[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 1 points 3 days ago

"Hey, kid. Wanna read some theory and build socialism?"


This user is suspected of being a bear. Please report any suspawcious behaviour.

[–] Nacarbac@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I have a lot of customers who, rudely leaning over to stare at my screen, ask "what's the price" when the price is the main thing on the screen in a size fuckoff font. Unless I'm annoyed I will just tell them, though sometimes I wait for them, or mutely highlight the price.

And that insistence on backseat browsing while being unwilling to read the screen anyway leads to this near-verbatim exchange I've had with a dozen people:

"This one should wor-"

"Scroll back up"

"We don't have that, it doesn't work for this anyway."

"Okay okay, do you have it?"

"We don't have it, and it doesn't work for this."

"So you don't have it?"

"We don't have it. But thi-"

"What about that one?"

"That one would work. We don't have it though, or I would have said."

[–] CupcakeOfSpice@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I worked at an eye doctor for a little bit, and there was one website that they just needed to type in the url, and hit enter. It would take them right where they needed to be. But they kept trying to use Google to find something that's specific to eye care workers. They would Google it, and not see what they're looking for. I looked at the card, typed in the url, and got straight there. They asked how I did it, and I told them, step-by-step, look at the card. See that url? Type it in. Now hit enter. Without fail, on the "hit enter" step, they would use their mouse and click on the Google search result in the dropdown. Then be confused why it didn't work. I went through the steps again and emphasized "Don't click anything, just hit enter." And they grabbed the mouse and clicked the Google search, saw it didn't work, and said "You have the magic touch. We just need you to do it from now on."

EDIT: This was the actual doctor, by the way. Not another tech like me trying to get out of work, but the doctor trying to show us how to do it.

[–] nautilus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 days ago

Maybe I’m illiterate, I had a hard time reading your post