I lived in Britain for a decade.

Amazingly, in my experience not a single one of those things is true in practice.

• Britain has First Fast The Post and an unelected second house of Parliament and Head Of State. The current government has a parliamentary ABSOLUTE majority (in a country with no written Constitution, so they pretty much can enact whatever laws they want with it) when they only got 33.7% of votes cast, so a lot more like Putin's Russia than, say, a country like The Netherlands.
• To see Britain's "Rule of Law" just look at how one group of demonstrators against the Genocide in Gaza were deemed Terrorists because of nothing more than throwing paint at a parked airplane used for surveillance in Gaza, and than was then used to arrest anybody supporting that group as being "Terrorist supporters".
• Harder to explain: culturally Brits - especially middle class and above - see people as having a moral obligation to fit in, which is how you end up with things like demonstrators being arrested for "Disturbing the Public Order". Also, just notice the transphobia in Britain. Britain's love of individual liberty was little more than a short period of relaxing of moral mores in the sexual sphere that lasted a few decades - just enough to legalize Homosexual Marriage - and then stopped and now you get things like upper-middle class "Feminists" writting newspaper opinion pieces in the supposedly liberal The Guardian raging again some sexual practice or other.
• Just read how Muslims are described in British newspapers. Also talk to any friend of yours in Britain who has an ethnicity other than white-Briton, including white non-Britons such as Poles.

In reality British values are almost all related to "keeping up appearences" (hence the whole "stiff upper lip" thing), a belief in the inherent superiority of Britain, Britons and British ways and about how others "should know their place" (to the point that "kicking down" on those below on the social ladder is vastly more common that trying to climb that ladder)

De facto Kindness is not a British value, though there is a lot of loud and performative "contributing to Charity" which is really about projecting a good impression of oneself on others to help one's own image (plus a lot of "Charity" in Britain is just the visible side of a very common Tax Evasion system for the rich involving setting up "Charitable Fundations" in the Channel Islands and then "donating" all of one's income to them to end up paying ZERO tax).

Britain is a society which is very big on performative "looking like you're doing"/"saying" good things and punishing those who do not (and the punishments themselves also differ depending on a person's image - for example in Courts "posh gentlemen" get totally different sentences than Arabic-looking people), not one that expects people to follow principles like refraining oneself from advancing one's personal upsides if that would hurt or harm others.

That, said, like everywhere else, there are genuinelly kind people in Britain, tough there they often are preyed upon by those running "Charity" grifts.

where's "taking the piss" on the multiple choice

And they never should. French people don't deserve pizza.

They sure are loudly "supportive" of "Charity".

You know, like people who do it to benefit socially by projecting an image of being "a good person" towards others, rather than people who genuinelly empathis with and care about others (who are not in fact loud about their "charity", because being seen as charitable is not why they do it).

I lived for a decade in Britain and that society is all about "keeping up apperances" at any cost (maybe why their Performing Arts are some of, if not THE, best in the World) and not at all about empathy.

Yeah? Are they kind to themselves at least?

I think it's the Sims/SimCity.