damn i thought this was c/badposting :(
this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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Your mom keeps complaining that I poop too loud
You have to escalate somehow.
jesus christ I'm too high for that. but yes exactly.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I had a housemate once who told me I should piss in bottles to avoid using the bathroom which was apparently too loud. He then showed me the (thankfully empty) bottle that he pissed in.
I decided to continue being an inconsiderate housemate.
Are your walls made of paper? Maybe you should cover the walls in sound baffling panels.
There's only one bathroom on this floor of the house.
are you able to access the other floors
The only other bathroom is in the basement where my younger brother lives. Also it's down two flights of steps and I don't want to walk that every time I need to use the can.
My parents used to complain if I cooked ramen with garlic and caramelized onions after 9pm because "the smell would wake them up"
I used to live in a circular college dorm with a bathroom in the middle. One of the other freshmen there, you could always tell when he has taking a shit because it sounded like a fucking explosion. Turns out he had somehow trained his abdominal muscles to contract in a way to expel the entire contents of his colon at once. He mustve gone to prison or one of those church camps or something... can't imagine another reason why he wouldve done that.
Anyway, are you perhaps evacuating your colon like a tank fires a shell?
I find that poops are less explosive when 1. you don’t push and 2. you actually go to the toilet and poop when you feel it instead of putting it off until the pressure subsides.
I think my years of consuming far too much beer has indeed had this effect on my bowels.
Eat more beans
are you loudly grunting or something hahaha
No I just get gassy real easy so my poops often coincide with flatulence.
i'm on your mother's side you should walk down to the basement when you have to shit (unless it's like a groundhog day situation where you're not sure you can make it that far)
Then my brother would complain that I shit too loud.
Open the door and assert dominance
Finally a reasonable suggestion
whose complaints do you want to live with, your mother's or your brother's? i know personally, i can easily ignore my little brother's complaints but my mother's irk me to no end LOL
My brother will complain to my mother and he's even more annoying than my shits, this whole thing could end with my mom making me shit outside.
Bros dropping 3 pound logs every time
I asked grok, you need to put down a towel and a single rose first it dampens the sound impact of the log hitting the water.
Uh, won't my towel be covered in shit after?
I tried asking grok again but it started about the white genocide, sorry instructions unclear!
Sounds right, I heard that's how they do it on aircraft carriers
idk about a towel but if you put TP in the toilet it has a similar effect, worth trying.
The only other thing I can think of is hanging a bunch of towels or blankets along the bathroom walls which might deaden the sound a bit.