this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2026
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Programmer Humor

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I use arch btw

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[–] Abbysimons@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

That one line probably started a three-hour debate right there at the funeral.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 65 points 1 day ago (8 children)

I've never told anyone IRL that I use Linux.

Nor have I actually spoken to anyone for more than a few words since I started using Linux.

Are young among people a lot?

[–] Dave@lemmy.nz 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I just generally try to avoid letting people know how technically savvy I am. I'd rather not do basic tech support for everyone I know.

Ok but real advice, people don't deserve IT supports, if I give clear instructions and they don't follow them, it's magically my exclusive fault that their ancient computer had an hardware failure that happens to be completely unrelated to the issue I was tasked with. Please, don't yell at me. My computer, my issues, your computer, your issues. I had experiences that made me this way, ye' old tech wizards in your mighty towers too are at risk of meeting assholes.

[–] pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip 5 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

The magic words I use are, "Oh! This isn't Linux. I'm not sure how to use these, anymore."

If anyone irl asks, I'm "trying to learn how to use Linux". Which is technically true, I still learn new things all the time!

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago

I'm unironically like that with apple things. The last time I used an apple things was 15 years ago. Im comfortable doing just about anything technical on windows, Linux and android, but hand me an iPhone or a MacBook and I instantly realise how those elderly technologically impaired people feel - completely lost.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It's never too late. Don't wait! Go outside, stop the first person you'll see, look them deeply in the eyes and say it. Say it loud and proud!

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 18 hours ago

This worked so well that I actually got a date! At the magistrates Court is a weird venue but whatever.

[–] Ghostie@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 day ago

That’s too casual. You’re going to want to plan a distro reveal party first.

[–] SomeDudeFromSpace@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

You’re doing it now! /s

[–] ramble81@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Thank you, because on here people don’t shut the fuck up about it even if the thread doesn’t involve Linux. They’re as bad as Cross-Fitters and Vegans.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 2 points 18 hours ago

Tbf, here it is (mostly?) often a joke, whereas... 🤪😳🙃🙄😞😤

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago
[–] jasoman@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I heard symptoms get worse the longer you don't talk about it.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I haven’t either but I do find myself having to master the urge more and more.

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[–] ozymandias@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 day ago (4 children)

this is the same corporate fueled viral joke as “vegans always telling everyone about being vegan”.
maybe if windows wasn’t a vibe coded, microslop, death-by-1,000-papercuts, spycrosoft, torment nexus, then nobody would feel the need to tell people about linux?

[–] MissesAutumnRains@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People walk around smashing themselves in the dick with a hammer, complain about the dick-smashing hammer, and lament the future dick-smashing hammer update, and the moment someone says, "Hey, have you tried these non-dick-smashing, hammer free pants?" And they say, "Hahaha, do you also do CrossFit?"

This joke is stolen valor, I only just swapped to Linux like two days ago and I haven't had the opportunity to blurt it out to people yet.

[–] ozymandias@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

as a long time linux user, nobody wants to try it unless they’re interested in programming or some highly technical thing….
and really that’s where windows wins.

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

One of my favorite jokes:

Q: A Vegan, a crossfit enthusiast, and a Linux user walk into a bar. How do we know?

A: They told every. Damn. Person. In the bar. Within 5 fucking minutes.

[–] ozymandias@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

except it’s an unearned stereotype pushed by the corporations that lose money from people quitting meat and windows

i could tell you a lot of jokes based on stereotypes but i don’t want to spread fud.
also, i’ve never heard a single person talk about crossfit ever, but if they do, it’s probably because they enjoy it and want to tell you about things they have benefited from because they want you to be healthy and happier… not to gloat or whatever

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 33 minutes ago)

The two people I know in real life who do cross fit talking it up constantly, and it's definitely to gloat. I've rarely heard people who are vegan bring it up. As for Linux evangelists I've been one since the late 90s.

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 2 points 21 hours ago

If it's all the same person, which do they tell everyone about first?

[–] calango@programming.dev 2 points 1 day ago

this line of reasoning seems right to me. Well, if Windows didn't have all these problems, there wouldn't be as much need to migrate to another operating system

[–] TheV2@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yesterday someone was murdering their dog in public. I almost intervened, but thankfully they told me just in time that they've already squared that decision with their conscience. Phew, haha, that was close. Wouldn't that have been embarrassing, if I pushed my ideology onto somebody who has already squared that decision with their conscience?

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[–] maxmalrichtig@discuss.tchncs.de 24 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Arch comments in 3, 2, 1 ...

[–] reabsorbthelight@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

So you've all heard about rolling in your grave, but have you heard about rolling releases? No? Well it works like ....

[–] Ghostie@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I came in here to say “Arch, btw” but now I don’t wanna.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 3 points 18 hours ago

Fine, Hannah Montana it is then.

[–] pelya@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People are boasting about Arch, but my first open-source OS was FreeBSD 4.2, fitting on a single CD-ROM. It included a tiny base system and C compiler, and practically every other package had to be compiled from source, using the 'ports' system, which was just a collection of makefiles, one for each package.
And you had to be careful to use gmake instead of make, because the default Make was BSD-specific tool incompatible with most of open-source software, which targeted Linux. And you had to make sure to use GNU versions of grep, sed, and awk, and remove all bashisms from shell scripts, because /bin/sh was of course incompatible with bash.
Package manager? What package manager? Just run suand then make install.
And my PC was AMD K6, and it had Turbo button, which did absolutely nothing. And I was very proud of my TEAC CD drive.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

and it had Turbo button, which did absolutely nothing

These old 'turbo' buttons actually did do something -- they limited your CPU clock speed.

Because some old games (and perhaps other software) relied on counting CPU cycles for timing the game. The faster your CPU, the faster the game would run, and the faster things in the game would happen. When CPUs got too fast for this, such games became unplayable because everything was happening in such fast-forward speed that the player could never hope to keep up. The counter-intuitively named 'turbo' button would bridge a jumper on the motherboard and change your CPU clock speed to a lower value, slowing it down so these old style games could still run at a reasonable, playable pace.

Ironically enough, the 'turbo' button made your PC slower.

(Personally, I think turbo buttons are due for a comeback, but as fan control options. Use a 'turbo' button to switch between fan control profiles -- turbo off for quiet profile, turbo on for maximum performance profile.)

[–] pelya@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

The PC case with Turbo button was originally 486-DX, but there was no place on the new K6 motherboard to plug it into.

[–] goatinspace@feddit.org 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

Arch-based, the path you choose, btw? Good. Big endeavour it is. Closer to the Force, you'll feel... the more you learn.

[–] Lawnman23@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

The turbo button actually slowed down the pc.

https://www.howtogeek.com/678617/why-did-the-turbo-button-slow-down-your-pc-in-the-90s/

EDIT: Replied to the wrong post, fuck it, it stays as is.

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (2 children)

Arch

Emacs

Spaces

Dark mode

Mono space fonts for coding, ligatures for prose

[–] calango@programming.dev 2 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Arch

Emacs

Spaces

Dark mode

Mono space fonts for coding, ligatures for prose

I exchange emacs for vim

[–] bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

I exchange ancient vim for fancy neovim and monospaced fonts upgraded to nerd fonts.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 2 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Ew emacs, yuck 🤢🤮. Try Vim and you'll never go back.

/s btw (I use Linux, please don't kill me)

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 2 points 18 hours ago

Feels like one of those jokes that explicitly shouldn't go into programmerhumor. A programmer that doesn't interact with Linux, that's something to tell the world about...

I watched Pew Die Pie's video about self-hosting de-googled services with docker.

I did not expect this. What has happened to the world?

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh yeah, did I tell you I'm vegan?

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There needs to be a vegan distro. Surely someone has created one just so they can make this joke.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

A vegan, a crossfitter, and an arch user walk into a bar. She orders a gluten free beer.

[–] cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca 2 points 21 hours ago

This is sad whatever happened but I use manjaro btw.

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just going to leave us hanging re the distro guy??

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 1 points 18 hours ago

It was the set-up to a joke. Nobody asked who's there so they did not get to finish.:-(

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