this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2026
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[–] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Meticulous attention to restoring your own future gravesite after the graverobbing will not prevent altering the future in ways impossible in the normal passage of time. Obviously, unspeakable events will unfold.

I propose, in order to prevent any time slippage issues, I offer a future grave robbing service. In the the future, when you are gone, but I am here, time travel tech will be a-ok!

So you can pay me now, and receive your own bones at any point in your life. We have a London shipping underwriters service to guarantee satisfaction and we try really hard to avoid "time crimes", hahaha who are those time cop clowns

[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

how am i supposed to know that they're actually my bones though? what if you're just shipping me some other dudes bones? I mean, i'll take em, but i'd prefer my own brand.

[–] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As there are no means of verifying anything to do with bones, I am insured and I offer a guarantee

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

Does it come with an official looking certificate?

[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago

Found the Oglaf reader.

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

OP is a homunculus from OG Fullmetal Alchemist.

[–] TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And the commenter is a homunculus from Commorragh

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Still a better reason to fight than whatever bullshit Kyubey (Madoka Magika) was trying to sell

[–] te_abstract_art@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dig up your future bones, bring them back in time and bury them in the same spot.

Only YOU can prevent paradoxes. Time travel responsibly.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That would be sick. My family goes to bury my body but they're like "Oh my God, he was dead the whole time!" Get Shyamalon'd, Mom.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wouldn't it realistically be some guy with a backhoe digging out a fresh grave? I would assume he would go to the graveyard site and just tell his manager that one of the graves was unmarked.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

realistically

Now, see, there's your problem right there

[–] Asafum@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I mean you never know when you'll need a spare set of bones. It's smart to keep an extra set of bones in the trunk of your car along with some emergency equipment, ropes, and a shovel.

[–] untorquer@quokk.au 4 points 2 months ago

"On what grounds"?

[–] sinextitan@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

guys I can't find my boner

[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I’ve pondered on the idea that, although not comfortably, you could in theory have any bone in your body surgically removed and live to see it. Except your skull. You’ll never see your own skull.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

not with that attitude you won't.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

You could remove a small piece of the skull and live to see it.

In this essay titled "Skull of reverse Theseus" I will explain...

[–] mech@feddit.org 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why does your time machine copy you?

[–] Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

If they're just gonna return back to the exact point in time they left they're guaranteed to supply their past self with their future bones

[–] popekingjoe@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

It's hard to find a flaw in his logic.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Get cremated. A lot easier to grab an urn off your Grandkid's side table.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

see if they're dry

[–] MousePotatoDoesStuff@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It won't work as there is no you remaining to age, die, and leave bones for you to find.

What you need to do is travel back in time, stop your past self from doing the same, and THEN going forward in time to get your bones.

[–] Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 months ago

But maybe that's the key to immortality ! Get your own bones so that you will never leave any remains - > immortality achieved

[–] Fnaargh@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 months ago

But then there won't be a future self to go back and stop the past self from doing what his current self will never do in the first place.

He needs to go forward like planned and make sure he returns to give his current(now past and future)self his own bones and then end himself to break the paradox.

[–] chris@l.roofo.cc 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It could work. You'd just have to make sure to know when and where you will die. Then you could take your bones go back in time and die where you are supposed to.

[–] MousePotatoDoesStuff@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I guess it depends on the time travel model at hand.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

You're not supposed to see yourself when you time travel