Ask Lemmy

There is a famous one here in Germany that everyone gets wrong.
The original line being sung: "Es tobt der Hass da vor meinem Fenster", meaning "Hatred is raging in front of my window".
What everyone hears: "Es tobt der Hamster vor meinem Fenster", meaning "The hamster is raging in front of my window".

Hold me closer, Tony Danza.

Wrapped up like a douche

Actual lyrics

Revved up like a duece

• Blinded by the light

Excuse me, while I kiss this guy! 😘

Get lucky by daft punk, when the robot voices say 'we're up all night to get lucky' I can't unhear 'we'll rub up a mexican monkey'.
I'm sorry for ruining this song for you.

12 year old me is at the dentist in the middle of getting a cavity filled when Benny and the Jets comes on.

I'm trying not to laugh while the radio keeps saying "She's got electric boobs!"

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her merry chopsticks.

Not mine but one day my buddy's 6 year old asked "what's parking tips?" My buddy being a veteran dad gives him some generic parking advice, doesn't think much of it until later when he hears his kid singing along to the shaboozy song but instead of "everyone at the bar getting tipsy" he's sing about how everyone getting parking tips.

There's a bathroom on the right.

• why would they sing this?

There's a bad moon out tonight

• oh, that makes sense

Not originally me but I sure hear it now, in Empire State of mind Alicia keys says “concrete jungle where dreams are made of” which is a pretty shit bar in an otherwise good song. A popular way to mishear it is “concrete jungle wet dream tomato”, which makes only slightly less sense

"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"

It always sounds like the lady wants some "fuckin' pie."

HAMSTER

In Belle and Sebastian's "Me and the Major' my brain will simply not hear anything except

"Me and the midget don't see eye to eye"

Which I find funny on a couple of different levels.

Ozzy Osborne is famously known for mishearing the lyrics to Jimmy Hendrix’ Purple Haze as “excuse me while I kiss this guy”.

What prompted the post: I feel silly even saying it, but there was a rap song playing at my gym with female vocals in the chorus singing what sounded like “it’s the batteries of your mom”, which I’m certain are not the correct lyrics.

Doja Cat - Woman

"Roomba, let me be your Roomba. Roomba Roomba Roomba."

It's supposedly woman, but even listening very closely it's only very loosely "Wom man" and sounds like "Rumah" or "Wumah."

https://youtu.be/g7X9X6TlrUo?t=18

When listening to Bad Moon Rising, instead of "there's a bad moon on the rise" I hear "there's the bathroom on the right"

Bon Jovi, Living on a prayer:

"Take mah hand and we're makin' a sweater!"

Sex Pistols:

“God save the Queen, The fascist regime, Who made you a moron, And touched your wife’s bum!”

From Rock and Roll All Nite by Kiss: I want to rock and roll all niiiite, and part of ev-er-y day!

My childhood best friend absolutely loved this song and sang it out loud ALL the time with these incorrect lyrics, I was totally convinced and would sing along with him. My mom thought it was HILARIOUS and so she never told us lol 😆

(The correct lyrics are and party ev-er-y day)

Oh I was maybe 22, 23, loudly singing along with Elton John as he belted out "love I feel it in my haaaands, I can tell by the things I would do with another maaaan!" when I realized that probably was not something someone would sing back then. It literally had never occurred to me that he could be singing anything else, and it still sounds like that to me.

Love lies bleeding is the NAME of the song, but I'd never heard it announced or seen it.

Love lies bleeding in my hands

Oh it kills me to think about you with another man

A song by Fear factory called Linchpin the intro the singer goes "can't take me apart!" Sounds like "cat, give me your paw!!"

Brian Adams - Summer of '69

Actual lyrics to start the song: I got my first real six-string, bought it at the five and dime

What I always hear, sung so proudly and nostalgically: I got my first real sex dream down at the five and dime

“I just called, to ask, I looove youuuu”

It made no sense to me for so long and idk why I always heard that

Linkin Park's When They Come for Me:

try the ketchup motherfucker

Also, I knew I was forgetting the best one. I sang this with my whole heart and soul from the time it came out ~1997 until somebody corrected me ~2020 pandemic:

"I believe in the sand beneath my toes The beach gives a feelin', an earthy feelin' I believe in the faith that grows" ....

"And the four eyed goats can make me cry" right?

Wrong! It turns out it's "And the four right chords can make me cry"

Oh my fucking god.

So my best friend heard the line or song, not sure, "Making Whoopie" as a kid. He thought the lyric was "they can whoop me" and thought it was an old slave song. I still shit myself laughing at the entire thing.

This is called a "Mondegreen," and there are some examples here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen

My mother thought the lyrics to Roberta Flack's version of Killing Me Softly With His Song was "Strumming my face with his fingers" (not strumming my pain).

"What's up wuth this jet pussy"

the song is Jealousy by Slum Village

“Bald-Headed Woman” instead of “More than a Woman.”

APT APT

(I got the upper tits, I got the upper tits)

From Pour Some Sugar On Me

looking like a lover with a red iPhone (radar phone)

From I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi

I pray to God to give me one more trans girl

(I pray to God you'll give me one more chance, girl)

When listening to a Michael Patrick Kelly song outside of a running car for the first time, it turned out it wasn't a nerdy song about "Beautiful maths", but just another boring love song called "Beautiful madness":-)

In Radiohead's Sit Down. Stand Up, at the end, Thom repeats "The raindrops", but I kept hearing "Power Rangers". I searched for it and found a lot of people saying the same stuff, I was amazed at humans.

When I was a kid listening to the oldies station, I heard "Little blue scoop" instead of deuce coupe.

Later my mom actually called in and requested it that way. I think they played the request on air.

Smokey River Walters, the fire engine guy is the best one I've ever heard someone say.

Correct lyric is Smoke on the water, fire in the sky.