this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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And Finally...

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Vietnamese man experiencing severe headaches for 5 months discovers chopsticks in his brain (malaysia.news.yahoo.com)
submitted 2 years ago by Emperor@feddit.uk to c/andfinally@feddit.uk
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The shocking discovery: On Nov. 25, the man sought medical help at the Cuba Friendship Hospital in Dong Hoi, where he complained of severe headaches, along with fluid discharge and loss.

CT scans revealed tension pneumocephalus, a “very rare” and potentially life-threatening condition causing increased intracranial pressure. Doctors, led by Dr. Nguyen Van Man, found that the source of the issue was a pair of chopsticks that had penetrated his nose and entered his brain.

A trip down memory lane: The unnamed patient recalled being involved in a fight five months earlier when he was drinking. Although his memory was hazy, he vaguely remembered being stabbed in the face, possibly with the chopsticks. But when he visited the hospital after the altercation, medical professionals found no chopsticks or irregularities in his nose. Regardless, the patient suspected that the utensils were lodged in his nose during the fight and had remained undiscovered in his skull.

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[–] InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works 55 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sometimes I think I'm having a bad day, but then I realize I don't have chopsticks up my brain.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

He didn't think he had either.

[–] InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

True.
But Im fairly sure I haven't recently been drunk enough not to remember having chopstick forcefully inserted up my nose and into my brain.
Then again, I guess nothing is ever 100% certain.

[–] Scrof@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's the chopsticks messing with your memory!

[–] InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago

Oh shit you might be right.
Maybe the doctors also have some, which would explain them not noticing.
What if it's chopsticks all the way down

[–] pleb_maximus@feddit.de 26 points 2 years ago (2 children)

What the actual fuck?

I'd like to add something of worth but just… what?!?

[–] shortwavesurfer@monero.town 5 points 2 years ago

This was my thought as well.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago

This would have made "That's the Craziest F---ing Thing I've Ever Heard" on the old Colbert Report, no question.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 25 points 2 years ago

I feel for this guy. The worst headaches I ever felt were those few months I had a pair of chopsticks in my brain. It's not half as fun as it sounds.

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I've been drunk before, but I don't think I will ever be stabbed in the brain during a chopstick altercation and not remember it levels of drunk.

[–] ScreamingFirehawk@feddit.uk 8 points 2 years ago

The brain stabbing probably didn't help his memory either

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 7 points 2 years ago

If you've not been drunk enough to wake up in the morning wondering how you got a thumb tack in your perineum then you haven't been trying hard enough.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 years ago

Realizing the chopsticks probably weren't black when they went in 😖

[–] jopepa@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

This guy has a drinking problem or evil friends.

[–] skygirl@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Hey look, we happen to be sharing a time line with a guy who is experiencing quantum immortality first hand.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"a fight"

He stuck those chopsticks in his nose himself, probably during a desperate act of sexual gratification. He probably tripped and they got jammed up there during the fall, and he was too embarrassed to go to the hospital until he couldn't take the pain anymore

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

Love that people are taking your comment seriously enough to downvote

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 4 points 2 years ago

Slurped too hard while eating noodles. Easily done.

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Simpsons did it first?

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So you are saying we have increased the Vietnamese man's killing power?

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If he can remember who he was in a fight with then they're in for a world of pain

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 1 points 2 years ago

Chopstick John Wick?

[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Sounds like this dude has a serious drinking issue