Onion never misses

There was more sympathy in most of the Western media for that billionaire bozo who got owned in that Titanic submarine than for all the civilians murdered in the Gaza Strip, I swear to god

Apparently Liz Truss showed up to the US the day Kissinger fucking died

The Supreme Court of Russia upheld the claim of the Ministry of Justice to recognize the international LGBT movement as extremist: “Recognize the international public LGBT movement as an extremist organization and ban its activities on the territory of Russia. The court decision is subject to immediate execution."

Russia having a normal one again.

No comment

Israel has violated the ceasefire by moving their forces inside Gaza. The Resistance responded by attacking the moving force.

Our brave fighters in the Engineering Unit successfully targeted a military force while it was passing through the Al-Ma'ani Street with a powerful explosive device of the Amjad-1 type. Additionally, our heroes engaged in fierce clashes with an infantry unit of the occupation forces in Al-Fawwar area, delivering concentrated and intense barrages of bullets, achieving confirmed hits.

If this does escalate into a full-blown breaking of the ceasefire, I can already predict the future in perfect clarity: Israel will claim (and the western media will dutifully report) that Hamas singlehandedly broke the ceasefire by firing upon their forces, without mentioning that the terms of the ceasefire prevented them from moving their forces. Then, once people start/continue protesting against the war and demanding a ceasefire, the media's message will be something like "Why are you demanding that we make a ceasefire against the group of terrorists that just broke it? You should demand that Hamas agree to the ceasefire, not us." This squirt of squid ink will only confuse a minority of people and the rhetoric will be forgotten within two weeks when the Israelis create some new horror, just like every other major event in this war (the Baptist hospital massacre, the refugee camp massacre, the Al-Shifa occupation, etc).

So predictable and so very, very tiring.

The Senator from Vermont finally calls for an indefinite ceasefire in Palestine!

Senator Peter Welch that is, still no word from the other guy. It's like a bad joke at this point.

Least deranged zionist headline https://m.jpost.com/opinion/article-775160

Japan removes Hamas, Hezbollah, PKK from Public Security Agency terror organizations list, adds East Turkestan Islamic Movement.

Source

They took care of her dog too?????

Just found out that two of the three good samaritans who stopped the stabber in Ireland were immigrants themselves. But of course you don’t hear anything about that in the right wing news

Find someone who looks at you the way freed hostages look at al-Qassam fighters

Massive cyberattack against Israel: https://nitter.cz/aryjaey/status/1729292830781116457

The israeli telecommunications company Bezeq underwent a heavy cyber attack forcing the entire network to shutdown.

The entire israeli MDA emergency communication services (police, firefighting & other emergency services) also completely collapsed, it’s been an hour and it’s still down.

Meanwhile the captain of the ship is vibing with the Yemenis, having the time of his life

"Unity Explorer " igored yemeni warnings.

Edit : Also a "Vessel No. 9" was attacked as well with alledgedly a "Sea TOR🅱️EDO" @emizeko@hexbear.net

and the The USS Carney, a US Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer. was engaged as well.. (drones)

Breaking: My kitten has a very soft belly.

The Israeli military forced families to evacuate Al Nasr Hospital, leaving behind their premature babies in the intensive care unit. Israel refused to release the babies. The decomposed bodies of those babies have been found during this truce. (CW: Blured bodies)

Hitler is knocking on the doors of the homes of the European and North American middle class—and many have already let him in.

—Gustavo Petro, President of Colombia

article

man last year i would have never expected that the president of colombia would be the most based leader of continental latam

we need a Petro emote

China's pharmaceutical price negotiations are fucking ruthless holy crap

4.40 too many 4 how about reduce another 4 cents?

https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific/north-koreas-kim-received-photos-taken-by-spy-satellite-white-house-pentagon-2023-11-27/

North Korea says its new spy satellite photographed White House, Pentagon

SEOUL, Nov 28 (Reuters) - After decades of satellite surveillance by foreign governments and analysts, North Korea has sent its first spy satellite on a global orbit with a message to the world: we can watch you too.

On Tuesday North Korean state media said leader Kim Jong Un had reviewed spy satellite photos of the White House, Pentagon and U.S. aircraft carriers at the naval base of Norfolk.

North Korea last week successfully launched its first reconnaissance satellite, which it has said was designed to monitor U.S. and South Korean military movements.

Since then state media has reported the satellite photographed cities and military bases in South Korea, Guam, and Italy, in addition to the U.S. capital.

Israel's lack of momentum and them living through their "damn this shit is harder than expected" moment in Gaza reminds me of the Russians near Kiev back in March 2022. Difference is that Russia didn't mobilize like 10% of their population and pulling them out of the work force, and didn't have daily massive protests and internally displaced people being mad 24/7. Really feels like Israel fumbled their big moment, now they're out of momentum while Hamas is basically trolling them, and Hezbollah is making life difficult in the north and keeping everyone busy. Every single hyped PR event has failed for Israel and I'm starting to think that the US is slowly encouraging them to take a step back before internal issues tear Netanyahu's regime apart and massively destabilise the war effort.

My respect for the Qataris has massively increased in recent weeks. They could've easily fully normalised with Israel like the UAE did, but they've carved their own little political power position that I've recently understood and appreciated. They maintain a political relationship with Israel, but that relationship has been genuinely used to improve and save Palestinian lives, like we're seeing now with the ceasefire and the prisoner swap. The traitor Emiratis normalised, fully absorbed themselves into the zionist mindset, have like 40 direct flight's to Tel Aviv every week and are slowly intertwining their economy with Israel's economy. Qatar has never accepted commercial flights from Tel Aviv directly and

Chomsky outlived Kissinger.

On terf island today we have spent all fucking day long talking about Keir Sturmer because he has piled praise on Maggie Thatcher.

I am not joking.

Every moment of meaningful change in modern British politics begins with the realisation that politics must act in service of the British people, rather than dictating to them.

Margaret Thatcher sought to drag Britain out of its stupor by setting loose our natural entrepreneurialism.

Labour is fucking dead mate. I mean it was a shit bougie party before but now it's a fucked up monster beyond anything Blair would have even imagined.

If this shitbag gets into power he will kill another 2million people. Or try to do even more. Can't let Blair have the bigger death toll.

He just died? Wow. I didn't know that... He led an amazing life. What else can you say? He was an amazing man, whether you agree or not. He was an amazing man who led an amazing life. I'm actually sad to hear that. Thank you very much.

Remember Iraqi incubator babies? Well this time it’s real, except it’s Israel bombing them and forcing workers to evacuate without the babies.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/abandoned-babies-found-decomposing-gaza-hospital-evacuated-rcna127533

China is guaranteed to issue a cringe statement about Kissinger that launches our next struggle session

https://www.reuters.com/world/africa/somali-pirates-likely-behind-attempted-tanker-seizure-pentagon-2023-11-27/

It was initially reported that the Houthis went for a 3rd (2nd?) tanker, but were stopped by a US destroyer that killed 5 Yemeni soldiers. Now the truth is coming out that it was actually Somali pirates and it was an unrelated random act of piracy.

Good v Evil. No mention of Hamas even as pretense for the white supremacy and biblical fanaticism.

Just in case nobody heard, the president of the Korean Friendship Association, Alejandro Cao de Benós, was arrested in Spain because of American interference bullshit stating that he violated international law by violating American sanctions on the Democratic People's Republic of Korea and is to be extradited to the U.S.A to face trial. Good news is that the comrade appeared before a Spanish judge who released him from police custody without conditions, and he states fearlessly "There will be no extradition. The US accusation, besides being false, does not exist in Spain,"

He's a really great guy and it bothered me that he had his feathers ruffled over bullshit.

Article from france24

It is both Permitted and Encouraged to hug your comrades-in-arms, and also to give them a lil kiss on the forehead

⚠️ CHRISTMAS ON WAR! ⚠️

Jordan cancels Christmas festivities in light of Gaza war Jordan says the move comes in solidarity with Palestinians in Gaza.

Christmas is a public holiday in the Muslim-majority nation.

But congregations will forgo public tree lightings and other celebrations to focus on religious services, the Jordan Council of Church Leaders said.

Last week, the Bethlehem municipality in the occupied West Bank had also said it would not hold traditional festivities in Jesus’s birthplace “in mourning and in honour” of Palestinians killed in Gaza

Yes I support the USA

spoiler

United Socialist Africa

Intelligence sources indicate that MILF and ASS will work together to “take over the world”

Oh!

the power of American wunderwaffe (archived)

The Biggest Problem With Ukraine’s M-1 Tanks: They Don’t Like Staying Dirty

The biggest problem with Ukraine’s new fleet of 31 American-made M-1 Abrams tanks isn’t the tanks’ 1,500-horsepower turbine engines. Not really. No, it’s the filters in the engines’ intakes. The filters keep dirt and debris from fouling and wrecking an M-1’s delicate—but powerful—engine. They require constant cleaning. If an Abrams’ four-person crew neglects to clean its tank’s filters every 12 hours or so, it might so badly damage the engine that the battalion has no choice but to remove the engine, and potentially the transmission, and ship it away for a lengthy overhaul. That would remove one of Ukraine’s few M-1s from the battlefield as surely as a Russian mine or missile might do. Deep maintenance of Ukrainian Abrams takes place in Poland.

Twice a day, an M-1 crew must rev its tank’s engine to high revolutions-per-minute in order to trigger a pulse-jet system that blasts air out of the tank rather than into it, shooting dust and debris from the back grille. That keeps the filters clean across lengthy deployments. Before the Americans added the pulse-jet system to the M-1, in the early 2000s, tank crews—especially those fighting in the desert—openly complained about their vehicles’ reliability.

“Army officials are aware of the problems with high fuel consumption, unreliable fuel pumps and sand-ingestion,” the U.S. Government Accountability Office reported in 1992. “They are working on solutions.” The solution to the sand-ingestion problem was the twice-a-day pulse-jet cleaning process. It works just fine, as long as crews rigorously adhere to its schedule. Even when they’re getting shot at. "All those things can be taught to the crew, but if ever they make a mistake—and they will—it blows a million-dollar engine that can't be repaired in the field," Mark Hertling, a retired U.S. Army general, told The Kyiv Independent.

I'm just a smol bean $10 million tank (or a lot more depending on the upgrades), I couldn't possibly handle a bit of dust in my engine!

My mom has CNN on and they are HOUNDING Pramila Jayapal for having the most milquetoast opinion of "maybe don't do war crimes" it's utterly jawdropping

Meanwhile IDF colonels and shit get to come on their show and justify ethnic cleansing and every CNN anchor is like "oh okay, if you say so 🙂"

Per Bloomberg, Milei says he's converting to Judaism

But America promised Israel would chill with civilian casualties, no way they would lie right? 700 fucking dead.

I wake up, two children are executed for throwing rocks, I go to work, another hospital is bombed, i drive back, more abductions by the IDF during a “ceasefire”

Death to the West

Reminder on this day that Anthony Bourdain thought bombing Libya back to slavery was fucking sick(positive), said he wanted the same thing to happen to Iran, and if he were alive today he would absolutely support flattening Gaza to get Hamas.

lmao Fetterman (D-Israel) called Menendez the "Senator for Egypt".

Have we recieved any reports on the status of the retrieval of Kissnger's cum?