this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2026
467 points (99.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

37667 readers
4238 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] bear@lemmy.blahaj.zone 79 points 4 days ago (3 children)

In other words, mass spectrometry is still able to detect trace amounts of molecules.

Now do lead, cadmium, nuclear fallout, truck tire residue, nano plastic, etc.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'd like to see US catch analysis.

[–] abcdqfr@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You sounds smart, is this the same jazz they used in that ncis/mythbusters episode to figure out which wine bottle was from pre nuke testing and which was counterfeit? Or do I need to be snorting my shrimp tails?

[–] KillerTofu@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

If you don’t snort them slide em this way.

[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Yeah, this sounds a lot like those radioactive shrimp (less than half as radioactive as bananas). Some tests are sensitive enough to be nearly useless.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 53 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Fuck all of you!

On the one hand it's 'Hurr durr, the English don't use any spice', and now it's 'hurr durr, the English over-spice their shrimp'.

[–] probablymissing@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (3 children)

maybe stop using cocaine as spice

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 31 points 4 days ago (3 children)

You can't get fucking picky, mate. We've got salt. We've got pepper. We've got curry powder but we don't understand it. And we've got class A narcotics.

What's a fella to do? I'll tell you what! Get yourself a fish supper with salt and vinegar and a truly biblical dose of cocaine on the mushy peas! Now!

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Actually I think we need to put it in a pot on tables next to the salt and pepper

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

mushy peas

Just reading this made me a crack addict

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] hector@lemmy.today 2 points 3 days ago

Maybe start, sounds like a great idea. I wish I had some coca leaf, I would add three to my coffee cup. Then later another three to my tea cup. I bet it would be refreshing with the numbiness and all.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Why the hell would anyone want to do that?

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 days ago

I have a friend who uses snuff tobacco, and occasionally she'll add some cocaine to it — she calls it "spicy snuff"

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 days ago

It's so cost effective too. You only need a few grains for it to make a difference

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 25 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I like cropping images like this to remove context

Brings me joy

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Keep doing the Lord's work

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

And your contributions bring us joy.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

For some reason missed the text above the pic box, and I was like shrimp possessing and doing blow brings you joy? The context of your context cropping helped me enjoy it more.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 points 3 days ago

This offers a much more complete and believable story too.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm vegan but next time in Britain I'll order shrimp

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 2 points 3 days ago

Just go to a shrimp bar, if you explain to them that you are not about to eat them, they will allow you to party with them, share the drugs.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The 2019 study tested a small number of sites in Suffolk, so not all of England.

[–] dariusj18@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Funny how something so seemingly direct can be a lie

[–] ReedReads@lemmy.zip 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

In the shitpost’s defense, the shrimp is pictured doing lines of cocaine with a US banknote. So accuracy wasn’t the goal. Everyone knows that shrimp snort their lines with British currency.

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 1 points 3 days ago

Nah, the real reason is because British currency is too heavy for shrimp.

[–] WaterSword@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I mean it was ‘every shrimp that was tested’

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 points 3 days ago

Everyone one from the same plate that came from the same kitchen in the middle of skiing season.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

(In unrelated news: all cocaine testers found to be really high on cocaine all the time, often sharing cocaine with party test subjects.)

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Isn't just about every banknote contaminated with cocaine?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Maybe the testers were just working overtime and needed a little help with that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] RedditRefugee69@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 3 days ago

Either shrimp party much harder than previously thought or we need to take environmentally focused measures.

As a US legislator, I move to arrest or bomb all shrimp, or anyone suspected of being pro-shrimp.

You're either with us, or you're with the shrimp.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Sounds like it's fun to be a shrimp

Maybe not though. I suspect I had weed laced with cocaine once and it filled me with such dread I had to turn on all the lights in my apartment and refused to go to bed until after sunrise

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Pretty doubtful it was cocaine then

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like when my buddy got an edible laced with PCP.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like your buddy took more than he could handle and wanted somebody else to blame. Nobody laces cannabis products, especially not with something as expensive as PCP.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Nobody laces cannabis products

Whoever told you that lied to you. This was back when you had to buy pot from drug dealers, and people absolutely laced weed to make ditch weed seem higher quality.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Shrimps are known for their cocaine abuse. Fuckers gotta be constantly stuffing their noses.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm not sure they even have noses

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 4 days ago

They're tootin' it up somehow. Every see one of those things swim? Fast. The ONLY explanation is cocaine.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 6 points 4 days ago

Those buggers must be filthy rich

Oh, I’ve read this one before! The cocaine was so pervasive, they even found it in the blanks! Too bad publishing that makes the report kind of useless.

If you really want to see something, and you’re sloppy with your blanks, an LCMS can detect anything you want.

[–] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

craziest thing I've seen all day

[–] AccoSpoot@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

50% cocaine, 50% raw sewage.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 points 3 days ago

... that description covers like so many professions tho ...

[–] passepartout@feddit.org 4 points 4 days ago

Yo crazy pic they got of my home boy Jameson right there, def not sloppy slop.

[–] RonniePickering@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

I love go fast shrimp crackie

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago

Good thing they only eat prawns.

load more comments
view more: next ›