this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] bear@lemmy.blahaj.zone 80 points 1 month ago (3 children)

In other words, mass spectrometry is still able to detect trace amounts of molecules.

Now do lead, cadmium, nuclear fallout, truck tire residue, nano plastic, etc.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'd like to see US catch analysis.

[–] abcdqfr@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You sounds smart, is this the same jazz they used in that ncis/mythbusters episode to figure out which wine bottle was from pre nuke testing and which was counterfeit? Or do I need to be snorting my shrimp tails?

[–] KillerTofu@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

If you don’t snort them slide em this way.

[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Yeah, this sounds a lot like those radioactive shrimp (less than half as radioactive as bananas). Some tests are sensitive enough to be nearly useless.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 54 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Fuck all of you!

On the one hand it's 'Hurr durr, the English don't use any spice', and now it's 'hurr durr, the English over-spice their shrimp'.

[–] probablymissing@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

maybe stop using cocaine as spice

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 32 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You can't get fucking picky, mate. We've got salt. We've got pepper. We've got curry powder but we don't understand it. And we've got class A narcotics.

What's a fella to do? I'll tell you what! Get yourself a fish supper with salt and vinegar and a truly biblical dose of cocaine on the mushy peas! Now!

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Actually I think we need to put it in a pot on tables next to the salt and pepper

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[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

mushy peas

Just reading this made me a crack addict

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[–] hector@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

Maybe start, sounds like a great idea. I wish I had some coca leaf, I would add three to my coffee cup. Then later another three to my tea cup. I bet it would be refreshing with the numbiness and all.

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[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago

It's so cost effective too. You only need a few grains for it to make a difference

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 month ago

I have a friend who uses snuff tobacco, and occasionally she'll add some cocaine to it — she calls it "spicy snuff"

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 25 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I like cropping images like this to remove context

Brings me joy

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

And your contributions bring us joy.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Keep doing the Lord's work

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

For some reason missed the text above the pic box, and I was like shrimp possessing and doing blow brings you joy? The context of your context cropping helped me enjoy it more.

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[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm vegan but next time in Britain I'll order shrimp

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 3 points 1 month ago

Just go to a shrimp bar, if you explain to them that you are not about to eat them, they will allow you to party with them, share the drugs.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The 2019 study tested a small number of sites in Suffolk, so not all of England.

[–] dariusj18@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Funny how something so seemingly direct can be a lie

[–] ReedReads@lemmy.zip 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

In the shitpost’s defense, the shrimp is pictured doing lines of cocaine with a US banknote. So accuracy wasn’t the goal. Everyone knows that shrimp snort their lines with British currency.

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[–] WaterSword@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean it was ‘every shrimp that was tested’

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[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Isn't just about every banknote contaminated with cocaine?

[–] bear@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

Trace amounts, yes. This is normal.

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe the testers were just working overtime and needed a little help with that.

[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Sounds like it's fun to be a shrimp

Maybe not though. I suspect I had weed laced with cocaine once and it filled me with such dread I had to turn on all the lights in my apartment and refused to go to bed until after sunrise

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Pretty doubtful it was cocaine then

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sounds like when my buddy got an edible laced with PCP.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sounds like your buddy took more than he could handle and wanted somebody else to blame. Nobody laces cannabis products, especially not with something as expensive as PCP.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Nobody laces cannabis products

Whoever told you that lied to you. This was back when you had to buy pot from drug dealers, and people absolutely laced weed to make ditch weed seem higher quality.

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[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

Who knows. Maybe the same drug sometimes affects the same people differently. I once had severe memory loss after drinking weed soda even though I had had the same product numerous times before without experiencing memory loss

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[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Shrimps are known for their cocaine abuse. Fuckers gotta be constantly stuffing their noses.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm not sure they even have noses

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago

They're tootin' it up somehow. Every see one of those things swim? Fast. The ONLY explanation is cocaine.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 month ago

Those buggers must be filthy rich

[–] becausechemistry@piefed.social 6 points 1 month ago

Oh, I’ve read this one before! The cocaine was so pervasive, they even found it in the blanks! Too bad publishing that makes the report kind of useless.

If you really want to see something, and you’re sloppy with your blanks, an LCMS can detect anything you want.

[–] passepartout@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago

Yo crazy pic they got of my home boy Jameson right there, def not sloppy slop.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

(In unrelated news: all cocaine testers found to be really high on cocaine all the time, often sharing cocaine with party test subjects.)

[–] AccoSpoot@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

50% cocaine, 50% raw sewage.

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[–] RedditRefugee69@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 1 month ago

Either shrimp party much harder than previously thought or we need to take environmentally focused measures.

As a US legislator, I move to arrest or bomb all shrimp, or anyone suspected of being pro-shrimp.

You're either with us, or you're with the shrimp.

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

New Jack City.

[–] Riffz7@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago
[–] RonniePickering@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I love go fast shrimp crackie

[–] stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

craziest thing I've seen all day

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

Good thing they only eat prawns.

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