Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting horse
Interrupting h...
Neigh!!
this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2026
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It's between two. If they have a sense of humor I go with this one:
Person: Hey, my name is $name
Me, with the tone of a generic highschool bully: Nice name, did your mom pick it out for you?
If I can't:
Person: What's your name?
Me: Oh, it's $name
Person: Oh that's a nice name!
Me: Thanks, I picked it out myself!
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"May I ask you a question?"
"Sure"
"Thanks, may I another?"
this one doesn't work quite as well without speaking. but
"how do you think the unthinkable?"
"with an itheberg." (iceberg with a lisp)
Two men walk into a bar.
The third man ducked.
What is Super Mario's favorite vegetable? A Nintentato!
In the spirit of Super Mario jokes, here’s a dumb one I love.
What kind of pants does Super Mario love to wear?
Tap for spoiler
Denim denim denim!
(Say this aloud in tune with the Super Mario Underground Theme song)
I live in Illinois and like to say that the souther you go the Kentuckier you get. While accurate, the grammar is very, very stupid.
I used to work with a guy from Kentucky and he used to say "there's nothing worse than an Illinois Yankee." (I should emphasize I have nothing against Illinois, I just thought it was funny and an interesting counterpoint to your comment. BTW: am a Yankee.)
Also, I work with a guy from rural Pennsylvania, and he sometimes describes it as Pennsyltucky.
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"Your mom" as a comeback. It even works as a non-sequitor.
Basiclly, if someone needs something like a lemon squeezer or something else ending with "er" I always like the classic "squeeze her? I hardly know her!" style joke.
That, or something dumb like the "I wanted to tell you a pizza joke but it's too cheesy!" type of joke.
Those were two of the first things that popped into my mind.
I have a really good joke about a cow, but I'd probably just butcher it...
It's amazing how many people like Trump and his entourage. After all, they're fucking immature assholes.
Knock knock Who's there? A deaf guy. A deaf guy who? ...
I was talking to my best friend who has a girlfriend that has a gun h9bby about Valentines day.
I told him to buy her a model Tommy gun for vday.
I told her in person he refused my advice.
Her response: "that's fucked up" 😐
two pretzels were walking down the street. one was a salted pretzel.
Anything related to smoking crack cocaine.
A man walked into a shop; there was a shovel.