nsfw: alcohol, rob schneider
"shaken, not woke" is how they like their babies
this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2026
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sheeeeesh
As a person with beard I get a lot of random beard products for xmas and such. This year i got one that said "100% woke free"
The person who bought it didn't see that part and ngl it smells pretty woke
I wish I had the soul of a grifter, there has to be something like dude wipes or masculine kleenex I could be selling to chuds
I'm still kicking myself for not copying magic spoon and making protein breakfast cereal FOR MEN©️ but then some chud did it a few months ago
WHY WOULD ANYONE SHAKE A BOTTLE OF BOURBON?! GOD DAMN IT
Have to be like their favorite non-woke man, James Bond
But without drinking his woke martinis
Maybe it's for cocktails?
Most bourbon cocktails are stirred just to mix the ingredients, unless it's a sour or another cocktail with citrus.
If it's to chill the bourbon, then shaking straight whiskey in ice will just dillute the crap out of it.
Sorry, I'm a cocktail and bourbon dork so this ad has triggered me. Please feel free to sell my tears to Rob Schneider
this is exactly the same process as a lot of branded whiskies on the market. they buy barrels of whiskey from the large producers like jim beam or heaven hill or the largest bourbon producer in the u.s. mgp in indiana, and then they bottle those themselves in a "factory" space and that lets them put a different state on the bottle or pretend like they made it themselves in some way. sometimes this can be pretty high effort and they buy nice barrels of whiskey and it's a nice bottle. something like this though is somebody buying the cheapest barrels and then marking up the bottles as much as they can get away with.
I AM FUNNY. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME! SO - I WAS AT STARBUCKS AND I SAID "MY NAME IS CHARLIE KIRK." AND THE UGLY, UGLY VERY UGLY AND STUPID BLUE HAIRED BARSITA GIRL (I CAN SAY "GIRL" - RIGHT?) SAID...
Bold of the man who played gay Pinocchio to move to the right wing grift circuit. Funny how washed up actors always seem to follow this same trajectory.
This is not a new thing. Rob Schneider has been a Fox News commentator for years. They bring him on the show to make fun of homeless people and immigrants. He also made a standup special which streams exclusively on the Fox News streaming app.
Also Rob Schneider is in the Adam Sandler circle. Adam Sandler is also far right wing and very Zionist.
I feel as though a lot of the actors who do the "Leftist Hollywood won't give me any work because I'm a conservative!" grift never really made it big in the first place, or rode the coattails of another more successful actor (Schneider and Sandler, in this case) and couldn't really hack it on their own when given the opportunity.
There are quite a few out and proud right-wing actors and directors out there who do relatively well in Hollywood (Sandler, Clint Eastwood, James Woods...), so Schneider's "not leftist enough" excuse sounds like a BS reason to not get any work.
That's true, maybe I was reversing cause and effect a bit there.
I was looking through Rob Schneider's twitter. It looks like he started going towards MAGA influencer in 2020 around the start of covid. His Fox Standup special was in 2023.
I think it was the true anon sub on reddit that had a bit about failed comedians pivoting to working with intelligence. In this case of Derpy Derp man he's waaay to dim to work for even the cia.
A slight tangent, but I thought this video I saw recently was a good dive into Rob Schneider and other washed up right wing Gen X comedians falling into the whole "the left won't let me do comedy" and anti-woke grifting pipeline.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Why are you making that face? Try to sell your own fucking product! Try to make it look good! That's your job! Why are you making a "look at this crap" face?
"Check out this bullshit whiskey, I mean just look at this shit, who'd buy this? Not me! You maybe, if you like garbage."
Turns out the guy who has to sell CHUD whiskey after his career tanked was never a very good actor.
Missed the opportunity to make the bottle shaped like a gun or truck or something
Then again, this is probably just relabeled rail liquor
Truck nutz! Holding an AR-15!
Nice fedora you fucking washed up toolbag lmao
Washed up hat for a washed up toolbag
The American Retirement Plan for D-List actors: It's either this or you get turned into glue.
lol they can't export it anymore, Canada doesn't want it and zoomer/millenials aren't drinking anymore
so there are vats of bourbon being unsold and this is a Hail Mary lol
Jim Beam shuttered one of their distilleries. Not like their only one or anything, but still a pretty significant development.
When the bottom drops out and some lucky bastard gets a warehouse in a tax auction full of 50 year old bourbon...
You know, I can't even care enough to be mad about it. When it is on sale I might get a bottle ironically.
Goddamnit this is mainly an obvious grift I'm so mad I didn't think of it first
Cut his fucking head off!
never put a face to the name Rob Schneider before
he looks like the half of that stage magician duo who got cursed to never have a speaking role
I didn't even recognize him until someone said it was him and I looked more closely
Hasn't he cried multiple times on camera during interviews? I'd call that time he was talking about the state of the United States on the The Megyn Kelly Show something of a meltdown. Also when his daughter distanced herself from him because he was being an asshole/bigot.
Unfortunately i only drink Pappy
The word woke triggers such a Pavlovian response in me, like my whole mood goes straight to annoyed and irritated every time. Why do these reactionary fucks steal AAVE as their meaningless verbal cudgels as well, extra salt in the wound
This is not what my moonshiner ancestors died for.
