the perfect movie for these people would star a set of enormous booba on wheels that "communicates" like R2D2, but using fleshy jiggling sounds.
and every seven minutes there is an interstitial for a deep-friend hamburger dipped in ranch dressing.
this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2026
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Don't forget the lite beer and boner pills
It's all Laura Croft this Lara Croft that, how about we get Larry Croft with a big bulge and he's just for the ladies
so, uncharted?
Unc-charted
they already made uncharted into a movie lmaoooo i had no idea
Leisure Suit Larry Croft
Womb raider
ps1 graphics dick bulge like
How about we get Lara Croft with a big bulge and she hasnt done bottom surgery (and shes also just for the ladies, just for the t-girls to be specific)
Genius 
They're literally just thinking about her breasts and nothing else.
Like, Laura Croft is not blonde!
If you want to put a bee in the bonnet of these tourists, tell them OG Lara was based on Neneh Cherry's likeness and at points in the development she was going to be either Indian or Latin American.
Crackers ruining everything 😔
Boobs too round. Disqualifying.
We really need someone who can pull off the "chest triangles" look
This is racist against English people
Yeah! Sweeney hasn't even touched on English levels of racism yet! They have fucking standards!
Sydney Sweeny would also need to get jacked for the role. Not that she couldn't, but would she ever have a desire to?
Would be very funny to see the CHUDs flip out because it is "unrealistic" for a woman to have muscles.
Think she got buff for Christy but I dont know any of the four people who saw it so I can ask them
crushed. obliterated
Sophie Turner is kinda the most perfect casting for Lara Croft available right now. Even if you are thinking of pure sex appeal I think Sophie Turner would do better in the role.
She certainly looks the part but I wanna see how she pulls off the posh accent cos if she uses her normal voice its gonna be so bad. Its kinda depressing looking around on youtube its largely videos just complaining her boobs arent big enough…
Absurd complaint, we've had the technology to strap some triangles to a person's chest since Madonna invented it back in the 90s.
Logging on to the cheats.cc page for the Tomb Raider movie to add an entry about how swan diving off a balcony unlocks a gooner-friendly version of the movie.
12 year old me and my best friend when we discovered the nude raider cheat in TR 2 and it made Lara asplode 🤯
It is so annoying how we go through constant repeats of the same chud complaints. Feels like yesterday when the chuds were mad that Aloy in the new Horizon game has body hair or something.
Many fans
Also, why not just put a fucking sex doll in the outfit?
That's all these hogs want anyway
Barely sentient, chronically enraged gooners.
I don't know who she is specifically, but I've only ever seen her name in some weird contexts.
If she dyed her hair, maybe
But also I haven't really played the modern games so "my" Laura Croft is a vague shape of polygons so really anyone femme shaped could play her
Petition to cast the most blocky, angular woman we can find to play Laura Croft.
Minecraft alex
Isn't she a white supremacist?
She's dating a big time zionist who supports the genocide so I'm gonna say yes, yes she is
Yeah, that'll do it
It's not clear, but she's made some really bad decisions that make her look like it.
She did an American Eagle jeans commercial with some sus dialogue about her having "good jeans" (like a pun on "genes") and some liberal/lefty people got mad because they read it as endorsing eugenics. You might say they were reading too much into it, but with actual Neo-Nazism coming from the heights of government right now, it's understandably a sensitive time around that subject. An interviewer clumsily asked her to comment on the controversy and she equally-clumsily refused to do so, and never even released an ass-covering statement saying she condemns hate or whatever. This made her popular with the online far-right. The problem though is that it seems to have soured her with everyone else. Three of her movies bombed last year because- surprise!- far right people don't watch independent artsy movies! Also, the jeans campaign has been recalled because American Eagle sales quietly plummeted. It was only then that she released the ass-covering statement. I don't want to predict her career is dead yet since Euphoria season 3 comes out soon, but I wouldn't be surprised if she winds up exiled to the land of Daily Wire and Pureflix.
Her most recent film the housemaid also starring Amanda Seyfried was a pretty decent commercial success tho. So I think for now reports of her career demise are seemingly exaggerated.
Ah ok, thanks for the clarification.
I'm slightly confused as how saying you've got good jeans as a pun on a jeans commercial makes you racist.
I don't know about AE, do they sell racist jeans? Are they MAGA?
It's a pun on jeans vs. genes. The slogan of the commercial was that Sydney Sweeney has great jeans, but it was also implying that she is genetically gifted. It might be more clear if you watch the commercial. You could argue the controversy was an overreaction, but it's a sensitive time and Sweeney certainly didn't handle the whole thing well.
Wasn't the the allegation of her being a white supremacist(outside of being pictured at her mom's birthday with a lot people were wearing MAGA hats, https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/leylamohammed/sydney-sweeney-mom-birthday-party-controversy-maga-hats) not specifically that she started in the Jeans/genes ad, but rather when no denoucing it after the widespread backlash an only layer when asked in an interview [me paraphrasing]'That ad was pretty sus, but you're not racist right?' instead of taking the opportunity to hit the softball question out of the park and unequivocally denounce racism she responded with the weaselly:
"Anyone who knows me knows that I’m always trying to bring people together. I’m against hate and divisiveness," she says. "In the past my stance has been to never respond to negative or positive press but recently I have come to realize that my silence regarding this issue has only widened the divide, not closed it. So I hope this new year brings more focus on what connects us instead of what divides us."
Could be wrong
Personally, I think they were just making a joke on her large breasts, and that being a white blonde girl talking about good genes only gives eugenics vibes because of the rise of Nazis again. Still, bad timing on her and the American Eagle marketing department's part, and you think it wouldn't be too difficult to put out that ass-covering statement earlier just in case.
Couldn't stop at whitewashing Jesus, gotta make Laura Croft a blonde who can't act but does have big tiddies.
Lara Croft is boobies and JUST boobies, when Toby Gard designed her he said to his staff "oi! this 'ere bird is all about them juggs, m8" and thus she was born 
I wanna see Sweeney as Xena warrior princess honestly.