Another Musk business model that'll die... But not before he grifts stupid shareholders...
this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2026
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I do like shorting Tesla, it's expensive, but it just feels good
You short Tesla stock? Have you ever timed it and made a profit on it? I know there's been pockets that it could have been profitable to you. But seems to me that you'd just be feeding money to actual shareholders.
Well you know, you gotta phase these things out before sweeping them under the rug.
If you cut it off cold turkey everyone will be like “I did Natzi that one coming”.
“Oh think I’ll treat myself to a month of gamble driving”
If you buy a Tesla you deserve a Tesla.
On Tesla’s third-quarter earnings call in October, CFO Vaibhav Taneja said that “the total paid FSD customer base is still small, around 12% of our current fleet.”
Gonna be lower soon. LoL 😂
How is this fool a billionaire? Oh, yeah. Peter Thiel using him as a distraction.
Oh jeez, enshittification is so fast with today's companies...
Fools and their money are soon parted - over and over again if they're Tesla fanboys.
No thanks, Nazi.
Scumfuck needs to hit his trillion dollar payout somehow
I feel so dumb over here having paid off my current car and giving no subscription money to anyone to use all the features of my car. I'm a fool!
You have got to be a goddamn moron to buy a Tesla.
Good maybe people will stop using it then. What am I saying they bought a Tesla of course they're going to keep using it.
So if your subscription runs out while driving does the Tesla just stop on the road or does it immediately drive back to the dealership till you pay it?
It's only for the "Full Self driving" feature. It would likely just disable the feature.
Burst into flames
Facts!
Can you opt to pay imaginary money for it since it is an imaginary feature?
Anyone who still thinks he's a genius should be mocked mercilessly.
To be fair, he's a genius in continuesly scamming people without losing their faith in him. Although it's less geniusness and more stupidity of other people. Yeah he's not a genius, he's a scammer. Not even an artist at it.
I would think they first would have to actually release the feature.
Apparently we live in a reality in which you don't need to have a product in order make it shit anymore.
And I would think that before releasing the feature they'd have to get it to stop constantly crashibg cars into large stationary objects.
It's probably vibe-coded.
You misunderstand. The subscription is to get permission to drive your own car. Self driving slop is going to be the default.
Surely you jest.
You need to sign up for a 3 year subscription to be put on the waiting list for the product that will be ready in 5 years after you subscribed. If you don't renew after the first 3 years you lose your spot and need to reapply.
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🤣🤣🤣
Then first create the full self driving that you have lied about already existing for the past decade
$99 dollars a month to kill yourself. Shit, I can commit suicide for free.
Wasn't it already? Fucking Tesla is so damn confusing on how the hell this shit works. Every 2 months it changes, price changes, how the use it changes, and if they even get it. God I'm so glad I wouldn't ever buy one of those shit boxes.
I was in my friend's Tesla the other day, and she couldn't figure out which button to push to get the glove box open. There is no handle. Just a screen with a GUI that has menus with a glove box button.
I was like wtf. I'm so pissed about my old car with too many buttons for the air conditioner. That was the most infuriating looking car I've ever seen. Guess she got it before the Nazi salute for tax write off.
Unfortunately that's not exclusive to Tesla.
Tesla: subscribe to your own demise.
Surprised it didn't happen sooner.
And on that note, I would absolutely download a car.
Well, I wouldn't download this car.
Kinda a crazy move considering that they were charging 8k for "fsd" before, and are moving to a monthly subscription of a hundred bucks a month.
You would have to own your Tesla for six and a half years for them to make the same return. My guess is that the hundred dollars a month is just the initial price which will drastically inflate over time. That or they are just going to raise prices by 8k and still charge you a subscription cost anyways....
Or you get more people buying in. 8k up front looks a lot different than a couple hundred a month.
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Didn't need another reason not to buy a Tesla but I've got one.
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