this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 26 comments
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[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 1 points 1 minute ago

I go to see the same guy every time. Have done for years. We talk a bit, but we don't need to. He knows what I want and cracks on.

[–] cybernihongo@reddthat.com 2 points 3 hours ago

I'm almost 30 for fuck's sake, I know it's not rational

But I have this impulse go to a barber like that. It's just a kind of refreshingly different vibe I guess?

[–] mech@feddit.org 47 points 1 day ago

My barber's tits are just as big, but a lot more hairy.

[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 10 points 19 hours ago

TASSIVE MITS

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 21 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

As pleasant as that looks, it matters not to me.

I ask my barber for the "full works", sit back, and close my eyes for half hour listening to whatever generic chilled dance playlist he's got going on YouTube. It could be a dude, a woman, or anything in between, it doesn't matter.

When he slaps my shoulders and says "ok boss, what do you think?", that's my cue to get up and leave.

It's my brief moment of indulgence every other month or so. Bliss.

[–] gazter@aussie.zone 3 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

You forgot the bit where they hold up a second mirror and you nod awkwardly, mumbling something that's not quite 'yep, that's the back of my head, yep, I agree, you have cut my hair, thank you for showing me the proof'

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 1 points 2 minutes ago

My barber and I do a joke every time about how he's going to write 'twat' on the back of my head some time.

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 1 points 33 minutes ago

In fairness, I always ask for a really straightforward clippers cut which even Stevie Wonder would find remarkably difficult to fuck up.

Nah the barber I use is sound as fuck. Happy to throw about witty banter, but equally happy to shut up and do his thing when I'm just about asleep.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 8 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Yes, and I found it quite refreshing. It inspired me to get a straight razor, which was quite nice to use. Though keeping it adequately sharp was annoying enough that I switched to a double bladed safety razor, which is also quite nice to use.

...why is this a shitpost?

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Because he only posted this because of the boobs.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 4 points 11 hours ago

boob? big whoop, not like there's feet showing

[–] bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

It's not like she has no idea customers are looking at her tits all day. She must have some sort of consideration there.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 6 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe she put some thought into. "I have a great set of tits. I am not going to do any porno stuff. What legit job can I get where I get to show off my massive tits"

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 13 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Interesting way to reduce a complex person down to nothing.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 2 points 36 minutes ago

Fine, how about “I have a great set of styling skills but am also willing to show off my personal appearance to maximize tips”

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 4 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Some Portographic actors and actress have incredible skills specific to them doing porn that people do want to pay for. Its not just about having great looking bodies but showing the sex act as pornographically as possible to the viewers at home. There's skill behind every scene. Even in those scenes where the actor or actress gets used like a strawberry cheesecake sandwich, there's still skill to do that. For that reason I don't do porn. But I would if I could.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 2 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

I don’t do it because I’m a fat ugly guy with a tiny dick who prematurely ejaculates.

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 14 hours ago

It's probably someone's kink!

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 3 points 15 hours ago

Exactly. Welcome to the club LOL.

[–] AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Had my head and face shaved in Toulons when the submarine I was on pulled in there.

I don't remember my barber looking anything like this, though.

Did I get ripped off?

[–] YeahIgotskills2@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (1 children)

Had one on my sisters wedding day. Made my face hurt. Probably not as nice as the one pictured.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 2 points 35 minutes ago

They must have misapplied the tits

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can definitely see a unique selling point here.

[–] optissima@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 day ago

Lesbians :)

[–] DrBob@lemmy.ca 5 points 23 hours ago

Not like that, no.