this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2026
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[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 29 points 5 days ago (2 children)

See, that's why you always jailbreak your sex robot. That, and who knows what corporate wants to do with all that semen it's collecting.

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Collecting?? Is that why my robot's vagina slams shut when I'm done and then it runs to the post office every time?

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Half right, but it's a UPS dropbox- they have a deal with Amazon. Occasionally it's delivered by drone!

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

UPS - Uterus Processing System

Congrats on your half-robot babdy!

[–] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago

Futurama warned of this

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You'll know what it's for when every janitor, garbage collector, and septic tank cleaner looks surprisingly identical to you.

[–] InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Hey those are respectable labour jobs. Our municipality once had a sanitation worker strike and I'll never disrespect them or allow them to be disrespected again. Urban society goes to a standstill literally days after sanitation operations stop.

And my god the smell, couldn't drink or eat anything outdoors for days.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I'm not disrespecting them; the evil corporations buying clones from sex doll data collection as cheap labor are.

[–] s@piefed.world 29 points 5 days ago (5 children)

It’s 2026. You have just given your government sponsored sex robot a golden shower and shorted out his master circuits, ultimately plooking him to death, so the Central Scritinizer arrests you and sends you to a special prison.

[–] HowAbt2day@futurology.today 8 points 5 days ago

You’ve unlocked a new kink for the new year, mate. Cheers!

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Now when you say special... 

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Watch Firefly (if you haven't already... or even better if you have 😉), and you'll be glad you did.

img

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 5 days ago

You’ll love it. It’s a way of life.

(Not an alt, and I guess neither are the other two?)

You'll love it, it's a way of life.

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 days ago

You'll love it. It's a way of life.

[–] bountygiver@lemmy.ml 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

and then it can't run because it kicked your account out again and you can't get past the login because the login server got hacked again.

Still collects and links your data,though.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 16 points 5 days ago (2 children)

This sounds like every website I have ever visited.

[–] yellowbadbeast@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Your websites have updates??

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 20 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Sign here to accept cookies, initial there to offer up your firstborn, scrolling partway down somehow means that I would like to make an account to pay a subscription fee (and I mean right the fuck NOW - no, not when I'm done reading, right in the middle of the fucking article NOW!)... hrm, I guess I do primarily visit news websites.

And to be clear, this is all with (Firefox) uBlock Origin ON - I shudder to think what hellscape awaits if someone were to ever attempt to brows the web naked.

[–] ekky@sopuli.xyz 8 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Uh, also remember to enable the cookie and annoyance filters in Ublock. It doesn't do much by default.

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 5 points 5 days ago

Thanks for the tip! They were indeed unchecked.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Oh thanks, I thought I remembered it having better out-of-box functionality, but definitely the interwebs have gotten more difficult to navigate recently so I haven't tried those - crossing my fingers now and hoping for the best! 🤞🙏

[–] ekky@sopuli.xyz 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I mean, compared to other blockers it has awesome out-of-box functionality, but... It just kinda lacks something. And those filters are that something. ;)

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 3 points 4 days ago

I have been negligent in keeping up - thanks for sharing!:-)

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Don't forget "whoops, your mouse moved the slightest bit upwards for any number of reasons, we're going to assume you're closing the tab and throw another pop up at you begging you to sign up even if you were actually still just reading"

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

FireFox

Is this desktop? Try https://librewolf.net/ It's de-enshittified FF uBlock0 included preinstalled

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 2 points 5 days ago

Sadly no, after staring at big screen all day I enjoy staring at little screen to relax, so do the vast majority of my Threadiverse from mobile. I have been waiting so hard on it developing a mobile app version for Android... but so far no luck:-(.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

I mean yes they do, host servers are just smart enough implement them seamlessly like apple only better (mostly)

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 days ago

Snapchat web for some fucking reason

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I call BS this is not even remotely realistic without ads

Also related: Neil Young nailed it No messy changes, give us a call! We know you'll be satisfied https://youtube.com/watch?v=8_joC1jgTvQ

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 1 points 5 days ago

The OP pic must have uBlock Origin installed. You can tell because of... well... the lack of ads 😜.

[–] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 12 points 5 days ago

Anal has now been moved to the premium fuck tier for an additional $30/month

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 6 points 4 days ago

Lmfaoooooo

Well, we wouldn't want any bugs, now would we? God forbid it accidentally begins running process urethralpenetration.exe without your explicit request lol

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 days ago

"Just need a quick shower first, babe. I won't be a minute, I promise!"

[–] Vex_Detrause@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 days ago

The right to repair will have so much more supporters!