this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face

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DES MOINES, IA — Jessica Djukanovic, a conservative wrestling coach, mother of four, and loyal voter for the “Traditional Values and Strict Legislation Party,” is reportedly “shocked and appalled” to discover that the very laws she helped implement are currently treating her life as a secondary concern to a non-viable fetus.

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[–] moakley@lemmy.world 49 points 2 days ago (4 children)

My wife was denied medical care in Texas because she might be pregnant. There was no reason to think she might be, but they still wouldn't perform her mammogram, which was scheduled to follow up on a lump she found.

She ended up taking a pregnancy test in a Whataburger bathroom near the doctor's office. That's the state of medical care in Texas for women.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 15 points 2 days ago (4 children)

How does a mammogram affect a pregnancy anyway?

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 17 points 2 days ago

babies are stored in the breasts

[–] moakley@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

It most likely doesn't. One of several reasons it was so fucked up.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 days ago

The lump could have been a hatching baby

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What's the point in even becoming a doctor if they're going to be that pathetic. How would performing a monogram have any bearing on a pregnancy?

[–] drspectr@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

point in even becoming a doctor if they’re going to be that pathetic. How would performing a monogram have any bearing on a pregnancy?

I don't think the doctors are writing these policies mate.

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You'd think a medical facility that makes treatment decisions based on just the possibility that a woman is pregnant would also have some means of testing for that. Do they just refuse to touch women unless they bring their own pregnancy test in for the appointment? Having to go pee on a stick in the bathroom of a fast food restaurant is appalling.

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 171 points 3 days ago (3 children)

“I wasn’t allowed to choose me? Where’s the pro-life in that?”

That is literally what they voted for. They actually voted for the mother not to be allowed to have a choice in the matter.

This is what single digit IQ looks like folks.

[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago

I wasn’t allowed to choose me?

Look who suddenly understands "Pro-choice"

[–] apftwb@lemmy.world 62 points 3 days ago

“I wasn’t allowed to choose me? Where’s the pro-life in that?”

Her community, her family, her school, her state, and our shared society failed this woman. That is some bottom tier comprehension and critical thinking that has to cultivated by basically everyone in her life.

[–] Lightsong@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

Took me a few tries to get past the fact it wasn't a satire.

[–] theacharnian@lemmy.ca 85 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Excellent opportunity to remind everyone of this classic of feminist writing: “The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion” - When the Anti-Choice Choose, by Joyce Arthur.

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 45 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Loved that one, recommend everyone to read it through at least once.

The lady telling the nurse "you're going to hell for this you know" while she's on the GOD DAMN TABLE getting herself an abortion is absolutely wild. I honestly can't see how any of these people can be reasoned with.

[–] Rooty@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Because they're the 🌟special ones🌟, who are getting an express ticket to heaven no matter how they behave. Being a hypocrite is their core belief.

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[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 32 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Are we not allowed to say "died" anymore?

[–] fishy@lemmy.today 19 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I hate the word police, the grammar nazis were better.

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 days ago

I don't think it's so much a "policing" thing as a side effect of other platforms whose algorithms will avoid boosting certain sensitive topics. People do stuff like this to bypass it and then other people see it happening and think that's just what you're supposed to do.

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[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 45 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Sharkticon@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 days ago

Really feel like you should be able to edit the title if it does something stupid like censors the word died.

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 51 points 3 days ago (1 children)

“I wasn’t allowed to choose me? Where’s the pro-life in that?”

That's literally pro-choice, dawg. "Pro-life" is literally pro-birth even for a non-viable fetus at your own expense.

[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 46 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Pro-life isn't pro-birth, it's forced-birth. It's "I will strap you down to a table against your will and watch you die, if I have to, to make sure it happens."

[–] uncouple9831@lemmy.zip 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Not even death can save you from me

-Diablo, Diablo2; the republican party

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[–] Lemmythings@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sorry what is D!ed? My english isn't that well...

Died. I'm not sure why it's censored.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 days ago

Leopard just savouring this with a Dom Perignon '64.

[–] Chronographs@lemmy.zip 96 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So cool we have headlines censoring died now. Though some random Iowa lady getting the care she voted for isn’t exactly news I suppose

[–] Steve@startrek.website 22 points 3 days ago

Engagement bait

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 85 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What kind of shitty ass news website censors the word died? Shit needs to be blacklisted.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 50 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It seems to be basically a blog, run by one woman who calls herself an "independent journalist."

The "article" has gems like this:

For years, Djukanovic proudly stood with the Leopard Party, cheering on their platform of “protecting the unborn” and “getting the government out of our lives” (while simultaneously putting the government into everyone’s doctors’ offices). However, the celebratory mood shifted last month when a Leopard walked into her own living room and began sizing up her forehead.

[–] pressedhams@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 3 days ago

That’s some beautiful prose.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Trump voter is malicious idiot until own face eaten"

This is not news.

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Often still after having their face eaten

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 57 points 3 days ago (4 children)

In truth that jackass probably had no idea what any of it meant until it applied to her.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 30 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

This is the problem with these people. This won't lead to some epiphany because they still refuse to accept that they actually voted for this.

She didn't actually bother to read any of the flyers and just came up with her own interpretation of what was being promised. Then voted for that imagined reality.

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 47 points 3 days ago

Every conservative voter ever. And to make matters worse, they'd probably say there should be an exception for them but other women in an identical condition should have to risk death.

Critical thinking and empathy are both foreign concepts to them.

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Sure she did. ‘Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.’

Her misunderstanding was in not realizing which group she was in. She thought those laws applied to those other people, not her.

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[–] Typhoon@lemmy.ca 17 points 3 days ago (7 children)

As a general rule conservatives can't imagine how horrible a situation is until it applies to them. This is why empathy should be taught in school.

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[–] hanrahan@piefed.social 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Thoughts and prayers:

  • Thought: I think she is quite stupid.

  • Prayer: May she suffer from her life choices, and then rot in hell.

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[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 33 points 3 days ago

She’s getting what she voted for. It’s a Christmas miracle. I’m happy for her

[–] Deconceptualist@leminal.space 28 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Haha. Michele Stills might suddenly be my new favorite editorialist. This was quite an amusing and incisive read.

Don't get me wrong, my heart goes out to these folks (despite their obstinate stupidity) because no one should have to suffer the trauma and anguish they've gone through. But assuming the coverage is accurate, they've 100% supported the abuse all along, and that's pretty fucked up.

EDIT: Also I don't see the supposed censorship people are claiming. The victim here was quoted as saying "I almost died" and it also includes the word "dying" so it seems fine to me. But I load this shit in Firefox Focus with an ad-blocking VPN so YMMV.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

EDIT: Also I don't see the supposed censorship people are claiming.

The headline says "d!ed." With an exclamation point instead of an i.

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[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Absolutely zero sympathy and both of them can piss in the wind. Stupid fucks.

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

~~Really~~ Almost makes me wish she had.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago

What a cunt.

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Welcome to Chez Leopard. For your culinary delight, Chef has prepared a filet of MAGA face, reverse seared in a Medoc sauce Bordelaise. Bon Appétit!"

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