Listen to the safety announcement and don't have my phone out during take off and landing
this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2025
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Ignore the safety announcement with my headphones in and continue fucking around on my phone uninterrupted until I lose signal.
Desperately downloading my Spotify playlist I forgot to download earlier.
Well obviously I have no choice. I lock myself in the lavatory, and throw a series of tantrums until the pilot comes and personally wipes my arse, while I moan deeper, DEEPER and then when the airline reaches out to notify me that I'm banned, they'll discover I've died on vacation in Thailand.
It's the perfect crime
Pray that you're not making stupid social media posts while my life is in your hands?
I honestly dont know what the post meant. Are we supposed to think he is handsome and be happy for that or what is the thing?
Comments here aren't helping, are they?
Also, why is everyone wearing 60s clothes?
I was hoping someone would know if this is some known person, or its a meme of some sort. :)
Oh well, doesnt matter.
Bro thinks he looks like Don Draper, but actually looks like drunk uncle Dave who bought the cheap Halloween costume
Break through the security door to the cockpit while screaming You're so Vain by Carly Simon.
You probably think this song is about you
I never understood this song because if whomever she's singing about thinks it is about them, they'd be correct, regardless of their vanity...
Call him Mr Raider
Call him Mr Wrong
Call him insane
He says, "I know what I want,
And I want it now,
I want you
Cause I'm Mr Vain
I mean if someone is handsome, I will give them slightly too much eye contact, which is the way of the feral gay. But I usually don't fuck drunks, so airline pilots are off limits.
Like Weird-Al told me "Have my tray-table up, snd my seatback in the full upright position"
But them starving, crazed weasels will get you.
I wonder how Torso Boy is doing these days
I say, "Boy, I hope he's not a Harvard-style white privilege student that landed half of his flight-simulator trials."
That looks like a pilot that will lower the oxygen masks just for funsies.
If you ever have to use the oxygen masks and it smells like burning don't worry that's normal.
The passenger masks use a chemical oxygen generator. Pulling on the mask starts the reaction. Deploying the masks would require the plane to be taken out of service to replace the generators and inspect the system.
Sadly, no airline would ever let a pilot be that fun.
"there is absolutely nothing to worry about"
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
I'm just gonna sit there and shit in my seat
Well they won't let me get fucked up anymore so I guess sit there and be bored for 2 hours.
Climb back into my time machine.