this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2023
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chapotraphouse

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[–] OprahsedCreature@lemmy.ml 46 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Have they gone back to recruiting prisoners again yet? Just seems inevitable at this rate.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I give it a few years before they start conscripting prisoners

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What are we… some of suicide squad?

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Hans Zimmer noises intensify.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

yeonmi-park In bad country they give convicted criminals an oppertunity to go to war for a commuted or reduced sentence.

[–] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 2 years ago

They were seething over this when Russia did it (allegedly)

[–] machiabelly@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Oh wow that feels incredibly likely.

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

American Dirlewanger Brigade.

[–] Timberknave@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

Dirleburger kelly

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

K This is insane. In Bootcamp they inject you with like 50 mystery vaccines. One of them is probably an experimental CIA LSD serum, and yet the soldiers are allowed to refuse a COVID shot? Literally just make it an order and discipline them militarily if they disobey.

Conservatives think the military is failing because of lesbian cartoon ads when it seems like the brass can’t even force their goons to do what they want when that’s the entire point of being the brass

[–] machiabelly@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

lmao can't the military just give them covid shots anyway? Then lie and classify the truth as a military secret.

[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] machiabelly@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Theoretically somebody would have their blood tested and notice the covid antibodies. But, it'd be super funny.

[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 2 years ago

Military: "COVID's still going around you know, maybe you just had a light case like a chad? 🤷 "

[–] Futterbinger@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I'm sure stocking the ranks with antivax q-anon loving freaks won't result in the next Jan 6 being a bloodbath.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

I was going to make a crack about them first being arrested for horrific war crimes in the next big war but then I remembered which military I was talking about.

[–] redtea@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

grim humorcoughing-up-bloodbath

[–] marxisthayaca@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Or the next pandemic/conflict not a hilarious shit show.

[–] BidensGranddaughter@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago
[–] Wheaties@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's good to know the evangelicals chomping at the bit for a posting in a nuclear silo are going to pestilence themselves out of the picture before they get a chance to force armageddon.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

I think I also read somewhere that a lot of our nuclear stockpile has decayed to subcritical levels and can't actually detonate anymore and we're not sure how much of it is in that state

EDIT: No single source, on further research it appears that the cores decay in unpredictable ways that can affect how they explode, and the program for recycling them isn't running properly and we can't do underground nuclear testing anymore to check samples of stockpiles so they're kind of in the dark on which ones need recycling. If anything it's the hardware in the warheads themselves that will break down faster over time and since it's the United States of America maintaining the warheads they're overbudget and behind schedule and not even sure which warheads need maintaining first.

Regardless the technology for shooting down missiles has improved a lot since the end of the Cold War so hopefully if anyone is insane enough to actually launch missiles they'll be destroyed before they can cause any damage

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

Please find this source, I need a little hope.

[–] Wheaties@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago
[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I should've guessed that "Russia's nukes are probably all old and falling apart anyway" was yet more projection

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Oh I'm sure theirs are too. The problem is that there is no profitable way to maintain a nuclear arsenal

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

no profitable way to maintain a nuclear arsenal

I hate that it's important to maintain a "everyone dies" card, seeing as the only country we'd use nukes against would be a country powerful enough to have their own nukes, and these are getting fired for the sole purpose of ensuring that literally everyone goes out with us. I get that they're also deterrents, but the deterrent here is that this is our "everyone dies" card; I genuinely doubt any other nation would be the first to fire a nuke.

When I was in not super long ago, if you refused a vaccination you would be thrown in the brig for years and dishonorably discharged. This is gold. With recruitment numbers slumping like they have been, get ready for the Pentagon to drop some major coin for another Michael Bay propaganda piece.

[–] tripartitegraph@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

will they have to institute a draft when they inevitably start a hot war with china?