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My life is basically perfect right now except for society in general. I pretty much do whatever I want, I'm self employed so I don't get exploited at work, my wife is my soul mate and my kids are thriving.
10 years ago my life was absolute trash, recently divorced, living in a hella sketchy basement apartment, unemployed and addicted to drugs. Don't give up, even if you think your life sucks you can still turn it around.
yep. making good choices over time reaps rewards.
society is weird. everyone i meet the past few years is totally utterly miserable, so i'd rather just chill at home or with my few friends who aren't miserable. misery is a choice people make.
To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
It'd be me living off grid in a tiny home with my cat, growing food and making art.
Being free of the crushing grip of capitalism.
Perfect for me would be a situation where I don't have to go to work, and I could just walk down to the beach and lay in the sun and smoke weed everyday.
I think "perfect" anything is hard/impossible to properly think of, and the concept of a perfect life is, at the very least, extremely childish. "Good life" is understandable and achievable, and I guess it involves feeling like you belong, like your life has purpose, and being accompanied and cared for by those close to you, in whatever shape those things come?
I want to work on the sea. I want to meet new people. I want to destroy the current status quo of the world.
The simple things in life really.
my life is pretty much perfect.
i just don't have a wife or kids. that is all that is missing. but when i date my happiness with my life is a major turn off for most women I meet. Apparently I'm supposed to be miserable with my life because I'm not a billionaire or something.
My life is a happy one, in part, because of no wife or kids. I wake up on a Saturday in my quiet, clean house and it feels fantastic.
plenty of people wake up to clean quiet houses who have kids.
If your definition of a perfect life is playing multiple video games and watching loads of movies then I've good news - you're on the right timeline.
The irony is, the more you accept there’s no such thing, the closer you’ll get to it.
Take control of you life, be the person you want to be.
It's easier said than done, but if I can do it, anyone can.
I wanted a lot of things for myself when I was younger, and like you, it was purely aspirational, I wasn't actually doing anything about it and I was incredibly unhappy.
It took a long time, and a lot of introspection but I'm currently the person younger me could only dream of being.
I grew up homeless, but I've worked my ass off to buy a house. I grew up lonely thinking nobody would love me, and now I have an incredible wife. I grew up idolizing musicians and now I'm a bad drummer (but I enjoy it).
Make plans. Think about what you want your life to be and make reasonable plans on how you can make it happen.
Your list seems extremely doable, play games, watch movies. I can't imagine what's stopping you from that but plan it out of you need to. Maybe Sunday night can be a movie night? Idk whatever works for you.
Join a gym. Like actually pick a gym and sign up. Once you start paying for it, you'd be an idiot to not actually go, so you'll go.
A part of it is holding yourself accountable. Maybe you don't feel like going to the gym. Go anyway. Maybe you don't feel like watching a movie, sometimes you have to force it just so you can look back at yourself and be proud that you tried, that you put in the effort to be the person you want to be.
It's not easy to live up to your own expectations, but I promise the effort it takes is always worth it.
Of course I don't know your situation. But reading your post reminded me of a younger me and I just wanted you to know you can do it. You can live your best life and you deserve it
Take control of you life
this is the problem though. i've noticed a huge explosion in people refuse to acknowledge this is at all possible. they are 'victims' of their emotions now apparently. not to mention 'society'.
i saw a big thread on askreddit, the number one reply about 'what do you find burdensome' was 'making choices'. I laughed out loud at the absurdity of it all. sooo many people just want to be thoughtless blobs that make zero effort and expect to be rewarded for it and think life is 'unfair' that they have get up to go to the bathroom to poop.
4 hours of work 5 days a week. 5 weeks off per year.
Enough money to not worry about money.
A short run in the morning, short weightlifting after work, yoga in the evening. Two non consecutive rest days with just stretching and walking. To feel good enough to do that so I can keep feeling good enough to do that.
Going out on one weekend night to do something, staying in the other nights.
Pet cats, and maybe one dog.
Traveling somewhere every year.
And having enough money also to get the house in the shape we want.
Basically I want a well funded partial retirement.
My life now but just enough more money to feel secure and also I'd be a girl
It's the little details that make a difference.
you won't ever feel secure with more money.
you will adjust and then think 'oh but just a little bit more would be perfect'
One where i have energy and motivation.
Oh and am loved.
I couldn't even picture what perfect would be like? I guess having infinite wishes like some sort of goated genie? I think whatever I would say is the "perfect" life today, might not be the case tomorrow, so I guess the ability to always live my perfect life would be a perfect life.
Obviously that is hypothetical and not actually realistic. However, right now, I'd love to be no longer lonely, have plenty of great friendships, be comfortable financially, check off some bucket list items, have a gf, be able to live a simple life and e.g. go smoke weed in nature whenever I feel like it (just an example of having freedom, and free time). However, non of those seem attainable rn. And it must be next to impossible to have all those things - people in that situation must be pretty damn lucky.
That's the trick. Humans normalize anything and we seek novelty so the perfect life has to take in changes.
Yeah exactly. Plus we'd have to start small with our wishes else the world would become boring fast.
Any where stress doesn't affect me negatively.
In a similar position, nowhere near what my perfect life would be. Not even remotely close to it ever happening.
Be in a loving relationship. (Been single for ~10 years. Longest relationship was 8 months...)
Have a secure job that pays well that I enjoy. (I'm 40, uneducated, and work in a factory.)
Own a home where I can have a garden and a workspace for crafts.(See #1&2 for why that's never happening, currently renting a garage "apartment.")
I really would have liked to have become a history or math professor at a small university. Living close enough to campus to walk, getting to go to my colleagues lectures and learn new things, keeping a dozens of books checked out from the library at the same time…
have you been to uni lately? that doesn't exist anymore really.
most professors are adjuncts working 80 hour weeks for below minimum wage.
Yeah, I know and knew, hence not following that path. Went for teaching where I did 80 hour weeks for a little more than minimum wage instead. But we’re talking about “perfect” lives here - which for me, would be being a professor of Chinese history or math at a small liberal arts university in a small town where no one gave a shit I was trans.
This doesn't answer your question, but if you have an idea of what you want, or who you want to be, do those things. I'm closer to living the life I want to live because I asked myself "who do I want to be? And what does that person do?" and then I worked on doing those things. I have a ways to go, but I'm who I want to be.
Starfield
Having enough income from my investments to not have to work and sleeping in every day.
But mostly just being left alone in peace.
I don't think there's anything that would necessarily be perfect, I'm sure anything I think of could be improved. I guess to me, the most perfect life I can think of is one where I have a purpose, a reason to get up in the morning, but nothing too mentally or physically draining. I can do something positive or beneficial, but still have time left over to pursue my music or make sure to make something nice for dinner or whatever, if that makes sense. I don't need a lot, and I don't mind routine. I just want it to be meaningful and enjoyable, at least some of the time.
Playing guitar and singing, recording music, hiking thru forests and camping there, swimming in seas, traveling space.
And yes, I am actively working to create a world where we do not have much bigger existential risks.
Mine's simple and realistic, yet increasingly difficult with the state of my life right now: a life where my kid would try to remember important moments of their life and not find a single one of them where I was not there. I myself won't be even remotely perfect. My kid will be able to tell when and where I failed as a parent or as a person. "Yet that old son of a bitch was always there for me." I can live with that.
For me it would be having a paid for house with land enough to not see the neighbors. Ownership of a cigar shop that was popular in the town I live, with employees that are well paid and health insured, and then money to travel with my wife and kid a couple times a year. Nothing wild like a month on the beach or anything.. but a week trip to Disney or cedar point etc..
For me, a perfect life would be a job, any job, that keeps me afloat, a house to live in, even if its just a small apartment, and a few good friends.
Most of my anguish in life is watching bad shit happen to others, both people and animals. I suppose a "perfect life" would be having the means to do something significant. I don't mean a few thousand to charity each year, but actual world-changing amounts.
The biggest improvements to my own life would be expanding my social circle, improved physical fitness, and having enough money that I could stop working.
Perfect doesn't exist.
More media, fewer people. 😉
Larger family. Regular extended breaks to work on projects important to me. A news cycle that cares more about policy than the tragedy of the hour.
A life of comfort free from illusions or force with a supportive "community" or "family".
Very close to my current life but without financial stress and with a partner who shares even some of my interests and doesn't want sex.
One where I don’t need to worry about not being able to afford the basic necessities to live comfortably.
I'd say pretty close to what I have now.
