At a table by myself, with everyone making fun of my laughably low number of legs
this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2025
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On the floor
Spider gang, no doubt
Arachnophilic freak
Covered in bees! Hopefully Eddie Izzard will show up and tell some jokes.
Moths!
Or maybe bees. I have always wanted to hug a bumblebee.
Bees 100%
For one, because they're bees. Also, because they're the most distance from the spiders (I have a phobia lol)
No kidding, bunch of weirdos around here
Now it's just me, and the bees
Moths. AKA goth butterflies.
Not only that, the only thing that makes them spooky and startling is that they randomly fly around like a dumbass towards anything light related.
When they're just sitting still being chill they're actually quite adorable.
You mean glam butterflies
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...Right next to the oil furnace in the basement, trying to figure out how to rig it to blow and burn the place down.
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Bees because bees are usually pretty chill and I like chill. Especially the bumblebees.
Tangent, there is a fun fantasy book series by Adrian Tchaikovsky where all the main characters are humanoids with bug qualities. So basically spiderman, antman, mantisman, etc. It is entertaining when you mix fantasy tropes (dueling for honour!) with mantis arm spikes...
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Moths every time. It's not even close.
At one of those empty tables
I would definitely want to be friends with the mantises in case they go postal one day
They definitely look the most stylish
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At one of the tables without giant bugs occupying all the seats
I wouldnβt dare to sit here as a human. Iβm too big and would probably squish them all by accident.
But if I got to choose to be one, Iβd go for the spiders. You get:
- two extra legs over the rest
- your own supply of crafting materials
- lots of eyes
- and a cozy place to relax in
Mantises. Fuck aphids
The moths table for the vibes, but the seat closest to the spiders to get in on their jokes.
Everyone knows that anyone who knows anything about anything would go for the most evolutionary diverse group - spiders.
There is nothing these little guys can't do. Fly over hundreds of kilometres? You got it. Extend their nervous systems several thousand times past their body area using web? Check. Biological hydraulic system? Yup. Jump 10 to 50 times their body lenght? No problem. Live underwater using silk made diving suit? You bet your sweet behind. Paralyze your body after one bite? Easy.
None of this makes me want to share a table with them.
I have a decent relationship with mantids already. I'd sit with them.
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I will sit under the lightbulb and wait for the moths to join me.
I'm staying out. At that size, many of those are just terrifying, even if they are cool when much smaller than me.
What makes you think they're big? I assumed the cafeteria was small
Then I can't get in, much less sit at a table.
Idk, I feel like the colourful ones would group a bit differently.
The popular high-fashion ones (orchid mantis, jumping spider, rosy maple moth) would be at one table, goths (bumblebee, tarantula) at the other, jocks are already together (beetles, tho ladybug prob carries a knife), goodly two-shoes nerds (bees) also, other spiders are obv commuter nerds, ...
Anyway, I would skip lunch bcs this feels like a way too social situation.
i think Id make a pretty moth :)
I think I'd go with the moths. Least likely to kill me.
LΓMP!
I would sit down at an empty table and it would turn out to be the Beesβ
Bees. So long as I stay on their good side they're chill and they'll protect me from the other options that want to eat me.
Unless you are a piece of shit, because then the beetles will ragdoll roll you around until you are a nice sphere of shit.
(How do I plan such a funeral for myself?)
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