how to assassinate a...

chemist: just keep challenging them to make more and more unstable and/or toxic compounds. if they've made it past FOOF gas, up the ante by saying "ok now do a 1-pot synth"

microbiologist: accidentally a little pathogenic virulence factors into their E. coli supply and poke some holes in the laminar hood HEPA. (don't do this if you share a bathroom with them)

particle physicist: take a couple screws out of one of the hundreds of ladders around the facility

theoretical physicist: remove a manhole cover in one of their usual walking paths, Looney Tunes style

biochemist: sabotage all their grant proposals and they'll take care of their own assassination

computer scientist: fucking don't they're an endangered species now

entomologist: literally indestructible don't even bother trying. these motherfuckers raise botfly larvae in their own limbs for shits and giggles. i fear no man. but entomologists... they scare me

mathematician: use a gun

I wish I'd known about this strategy when my rival picked geologist as his starting Pokémon.

where's the picture of the knife?

I can't read this without imagining it in Jeaney Collects's voice

Haha, I'm in danger.

Obsidian has been used extensively as weapons for hunting and tools for preparing food for thousands and thousands of years.

But yea like other stones, it breaks.